For what it's worth I also have found that I'm much more vulnerable to acting out when I feel down about myself. I once did the exercise in therapy where I wrote down the kinds of internal statements I was telling myself all day long. Stuff like "Wow you really screwed up your life" or "Nobody would want to be around someone with all your problems" or "I can't ever accomplish anything worthwhile anymore" ... etc. The next day when I read this list I just couldn't believe how negative I was being to this poor guy (the poor guy being me of course). Anyway maybe you can do some similar kind of self-talk examination and try replacing the negative (and likely completely unrealistic) statements with more positive ones, like i.e. "You've actually shown a lot of courage given all your challenges" or "It's admirable that you're taking practical steps to improve yourself and your future.", etc.
Day 19 today! Really struggling today and feel like I want to relapse, I know it's not worth it though!! Any tips to help with this 'extra' energy from not fapping?
Yesterday i past my second day, i am busy with day 3 right now. I live in a different time cycle than the most of you Guys so that’s the reason why i do it like this. Everybody stay strong
Day 17. No strong cravings today. Things at the moment seem like they are not really improving significantly, however I experienced the benefits once, when I did the 30 days, so that is enough for me to hold on to whenever I need it. Anyways, I know deep inside that there is no way, that things won't improve astronomically. And right now in my life, I am absolutely crystally clearly sure, that PMO addiction is like 100% the main problem for everything. So getting rid of that is getting rid of pretty much every problem, during the process. So I know and I know my way around the mental rationalizations and all that, I think my mind is sufficiently organized by now. Sometimes there is some weight that drops on my shoulders here and there, mostly it's me exaggerating emotionally, like 90% of the time, but still sometimes you can't just wish it away, and will have to deal with it. And strong emotions will wear off, just like cravings. Alright guys, I wish you much strength for tonight and the next day and the next and so forth. I'll keep updating. Hugs.
Still at zero here. Something deep down though is kicking in, a soul-level feeling of determination that I will not backslide anymore. I've had it with that, enough. I'm taking charge of my life again starting today.
40 days. It's been a while since my last post. I travelled home for holidays and stayed there for 5 days. It was great. Went to parties, met new people, even had oportunities to have sex, but passed it. I want complete the challenge before have sex again, I believe it'll give me more confidence to deal with pied issues. Anyway, in the holidays I managed to stay accountable, without P and M. Let's keep going.
Day 16/90 No PM (ends May 10) Day 397 attempting this challenge Day 137 weight training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, desserts and alcohol
60 days! 2 Months! I owe it to myself to celebrate my progress so far - if I have to sum it up I believe I am at around 80% recovered (as a feeling). I am not missing porn in any way anymore - this is by far the biggest win yet. I am not tempted at all by triggers to make me watch again. When it comest to masturbation - maybe from time to time, but nothing close to what it was before! I have to confess that especially in the beginning of nofap I was sometimes edging but never to porn, only thoughts about real girls with no disguisting fantasies. Of course never reached O like that. I almost never do that now. I had sex a few times in the past 2 weeks! This is also one of my biggest achievements! I did not start the Hardcode program - I promised myself no P and M, and allowed the possibility of O with a girl. I now get normally aroused by real girls, no issues with the boner during sex, I reach O quite easy the first time we have sex (even with a condom! which was impossible before and never by hand! which is what I did with my previous gf). Why I say I am at 80%? Because I believe I am in a sort of a flatline or slightly lower libido period right now and last 2 times we had sex I did finish with her but not as quickly. But this will pass and is a minor setback in the grand scheme of things! Most important of all I am sensitive to real sex again and sex is really pleasurable and bonding again ))) Keep going guys!
