Accountability for All

Day 26 of No PMO
Average day. Would love to be more productive tomorrow
I am not missing PMO that much for now after a phase of strong urges 2 days ago.
Good day and best of luck to everyone.
KEEP FIGHTING, KEEP MOVING FORWARD

 

Day 3 in the list!! Good day I think slowly I am getting momentum.

 

My motivation to be healthy was so damn low.
But now I've signed up with an online personal coach.
More exercise, healthier eating and healthier habbits.

Tomorrow is the day I'm going to turn it all around.

 

Day 38

#total_new_habits = 8
#days_of_new_habits = 9/40

I will come back to intentions but I really want to talk about the plant that I started to take care of .. I said before that this plant resembles me in many ways and the process I am going through right now .. and it seems the similarities are increasing .. from some symptoms that I noticed and doing some reading, the plant may be infected and the soil may have pathogenic bacteria/fungi .. the interesting part is to clean the plant you need to dip it in water with bleach for 10 mins so that you get rid of the infesting microbes and rinse it with water after .. and for the soil, one need to put it in the microwave to basically kill anything carrying water .. and at the end I had to cut a part of it that seems infested .. okay, where is the similarity ? .. I think this addiction is like this infested part of the plant and to get rid of it, I should let "life" use its "bleach" to clean me (which will be painful for the plant/me but necessary to continue a healthy life) .. how about the soil, or the environment? .. I need to "microwave" my environment (the movies and videos that I watch, .. etc) and get rid of any harmful component that may feed this infected part of me .. and that part of my personality that will be cut is the start of a new beginning .. so ..

I should let life bleach me .. it is temporary .. it will be painful .. but that is the way forward
I should "microwave" my environment so that there is no more harmful elements that infiltrate my personality
I should let very big chunk of my bad habits in my personality be sacrificed .. as Jordan Peterson puts it "95% of the wood must burn .. because it is dead wood"

"Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"

[/QUOTE]

 

26

 

Hello
Day 1 new streak
If profile says 300+ days, it's wrong. Longest streak maybe 1-2 weeks.
Getting back into nofap forums again.

 

Checking in, day 6!

 

In the past 96 days I have:

* PMO'd 5 times but not fully relapsed
* MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
* Averaging 16 days on strict PMO nofap
* 36 days straight nofap streak so far

 

Day 7 ( 1st Week ) : I did it! I survived the first week without PMO

I finally did my first objective, i just hope it's worth it since i had a wet dream once...
But unfortunately, i haven't do anything useful for the first week besides doing homework ( school was stressful AF ). I also need to exercise and meditate aswell, i'll try to do that slowly

Wish me luck surviving thru the 2nd week!

 

Day 26 -1 relapse so far.

 

Day 14 ✔️

Feeling great.
Worked for round 8 hours on my goals.
I've never crossed day 13 before . Today I broke my record... Haha
This is my greatest streak ever... No way to back brothes No way. PMO fucked me a lot.
Now I am fully crazy about my goals.. That have been achieved if my life was free from PMO, procrastination, comfort zone, fuckin' calculation and fuckin' "Rest". Don't be too logical. Don't be a soft shit.
Stay strong .
Stay hungry.

 

Also wanna share something that excited me yesterday..

In starting days of journey ,I used to do 50 push ups if feel urges more than 20 mins.
Yesterday I did 106 pushups in 5 min and 58 sec with less than 6 second in non pushups position. Now I added pushups in my workout routine and will improve to 500 till next month.

 

Day 27 Of No PMO
I am grateful

 

Day 39

#total_new_habits = 8
#days_of_new_habits = 10/40

This is what I wrote on Day 37 about intentions:

Intentions.. Intentions.. from an angle of view on this world it is all about intentions.. What did I intend when I said what I said? Or when I did what I did? Even when I think about sth , there is an intention, even if hidden .. It is not really "thinking", is it? It is just seeing whatever is prepared to be shown in your mind .. I do not think (ironically) that I actually think.. maybe I trigger the start of the action of thinking (e.g. asking myself a question and then wait for an answer ...) .. but I do not guide the process, right? ... I do not do that to be honest .. More or less I am receiving .. Yeah like a TV with a satellite and antenna at the roof ... I started this because I want to talk about sth that annoys me a lot .. sometimes I feel like my intention is hijacked by the bad voices (or mentalities .. call it what you want .. they got formed from bad experiences, bad decisions, actions and habits .. they are the easy [not necessary the best] way out .. or trying to get you back there) .. they use your past mistakes to ruin your current actions even if you started such actions with good intentions .. I need to find a way out of this because it is frustrating really that you feel that you are not sure of what direction your actions and words are walking onto .. let me expand on this tomorrow ..

So what is the question now? .. the question would be two fold .. actually many folds .. first .. this "intentions hijacking" by certain voices ... should I consider it seriously? .. or should I ignore it? .. is there a systematic way to ignore it? .. let's go back to definitions .. what is intention? .. perhaps we can say that it is the "seed" of any action I do .. okay .. can it change? .. yes I think so .. intentions can change on the way .. okay .. how to differentiate between the real intention and the fake one ? ... that is subtle one .. I think intention would be that source of energy that fuels my action .. I am naturally an abstract person and it is very hard for me to give examples sometimes .. let's think of one .. okay so the simplest one on my mind is: when I work on sth, at the beginning my intention was that I am doing it to improve myself but later I can find myself doing it to impress my boss or sth .. how is that ? .. easy .. when I do not take the praise that I consciously/unconsciously anticipated, I lose part of my motivation to do the work .. and if whole motivation was that to develop myself, I should have not lost my motivation when I did not receive the praise ... okay how to keep my first intention at the top of any other infiltrating intentions that leaks during the process ? .. I think the answer is very simple .. I can not control these hijacking intentions .. I can not control my emotions when my unconscious expectations are not .. okay .. what can I control ? .. it always go back to it .. is not it ? ... actions actions they tell of what intention won the race .. so, I should remind myself of my intention and keep working through it no matter what .. so it is important to settle one's intentions very firmly at the beginning because they will be test through life situations .. and if I am in no control of what that brain is viewing me, like a TV without remote control, I do not have to watch the channel in front of me and ignore it until the channel is changed and only focus on my actions .. as they will settle the matters at the end

"Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"

[/QUOTE]

 

Day 4 - Done. Today was terrible, but I survived.

 

Day 14 in the books!!! Finished reading a book called The Wide Window!!!

 

In the past 97 days I have:

* PMO'd 5 times but not fully relapsed
* MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
* Averaging 16.2 days on strict PMO nofap
* 37 days straight nofap streak so far

Notes: Feeling like shit is clearing up majorly in my head. Brain fog is lifting very well and I am feeling like my sleeps are longer and fuller. Tiredness is subsiding and my social interactions with people, (even the opposite sex) is way less awkward. I feel like I'm getting whole again. I've also signed up to do 2000 burpees challenge in February for charity and an ultra marathon this year for charity, a 30 mile run.

Bring 2022 on. I'm fucking ready.

 

Checking in day 7!

 

Checkin' - Day 27 - 1 relapse so far.

 

Happy for you...
Keep it up bruv.
Stay strong