Accountability for All

TRIGGER WORDS IN TEXT BELOW

Hey,

I've fallen to the same mistake a lot in these days. I discovered one thing: the one thing that ALWAYS trigger me is obscene music (My country is full of lovers of this kind of shit). I confess that i dont have an ideia about how to get free from PMO, truly. My max streak was 28 days, and this happened in 2020. I dont have any hope for myself, but, if i needed to bet, i think i should start slowly, seeking short streaks, cutting the P in the first place.

The worst thing about this is the guilty feeling in the heart, a very weight stuff. My heart is troubled with this sensation for like 10 years, and didn't go away. Well, that's it, and one last thing: it is impossible to everyone not get H, but maybe it is possible to no fall to PM... i want to get to these level.

Thx for reading, success for you guys.

 

I don't know, probably day 1 - Done. Today I went out for a skate session and I noticed that my mood changed drastically, for that reason I'll workout 20min per day now, to see if this will annulate the triggers.

 

Relapsed again today. Was triggered heavily yesterday and then ultimately relapsed. No excuses :_(

 

In the past 94 days I have:

* PMO'd 5 times but not fully relapsed
* MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
* Averaging 15.7 days on strict PMO nofap
* 34 days straight nofap streak so far

 

Checking in! I know tonight will probably be a tough one, but just gonna focus on getting through.

 

Made to day 50 for the 2nd time in the last 6 months and relapsed, unfortunately .

I will count it as an average of 25 days and start my counter from their, so that i dont feel demotivated.

 

Checking in. Having some erotic dreams the last few days, which converts my early mornings in early battles, which I'm fighting with walks, meditation, journaling and reading. Staying alert, and reminding myself daily the reason I started Nofap, which shows me a better me if I don't give up. Planning to implement other changes on top of my eating habits. The idea is to try some new activity to attend on a weekly basis, that brings me joy. I feel much better with myself, and I'll be using this energy to go on dates, which ultimately is the best option we all have to overcome porn. I'll keep you all posted. I'll stay strong, I'll make plans, I'll write them down, I won't overcharge my day, I'll stick to simplicity which isn't synonym of easiness.

 

Remember, relapse and your past self will do this to you

 

day 1 complete.
hope tomorrow will be the same.

 

Day 24

 

Day 25 of No PMO
Good day everyone

 

Day 4 : Urges starts to come through, but so far it's manageable

Day 5 : Same as the day 4 with stronger urges, but busy for the whole day so it's fine

 

Day 2 in the list!! Nice today I learned many things about myself. I started to do my study in morning but after 1 hour or got distracted but then I talked to my friend and was able to skip urges today. I learned that when I don't do prior planning my productivity declines a lot. So from now I will not overthink and do prior planning of my tomorrows work.

 

Day 37

#total_new_habits = 8
#days_of_new_habits = 8/40

Had to go out today to finish some stuff .. I tried to write sth on my phone while I was on the bus .. Here is it:

Intentions.. Intentions.. from an angle of view on this world it is all about intentions.. What did I intend when I said what I said? Or when I did what I did? Even when I think about sth , there is an intention, even if hidden .. It is not really "thinking", is it? It is just seeing whatever is prepared to be shown in your mind .. I do not think (ironically) that I actually think.. maybe I trigger the start of the action of thinking (e.g. asking myself a question and then wait for an answer ...) .. but I do not guide the process, right? ... I do not do that to be honest .. More or less I am receiving .. Yeah like a TV with a satellite and antenna at the roof ... I started this because I want to talk about sth that annoys me a lot .. sometimes I feel like my intention is hijacked by the bad voices (or mentalities .. call it what you want .. they got formed from bad experiences, bad decisions, actions and habits .. they are the easy [not necessary the best] way out .. or trying to get you back there) .. they use your past mistakes to ruin your current actions even if you started such actions with good intentions .. I need to find a way out of this because it is frustrating really that you feel that you are not sure of what direction your actions and words are walking onto .. let me expand on this tomorrow ..

"Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"

[/QUOTE]

 

In the past 95 days I have:

* PMO'd 5 times but not fully relapsed
* MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
* Averaging 15.83 days on strict PMO nofap
* 35 days straight nofap streak so far

 

Day 25 -1 relapse so far.
Checkin', its very important to not BINGE!.I will now measure the number of relapses in total streak days so that i will try to minimize binging and further relapses.

 

Day 5, checking in!

 

Day 6 : It was the worst day out of 6...
I had a wet dream, i feel like i subconsciously had control, but i wet dreame'd out of nowhere, luckily it was a small one. It's not a relapse right?
Overall, my day just sucked and i feel bad about it. It's just the worst day so far

 

I finally found an Accountability partner, who is helping me a lot through this.
I am more realistic about myself: even if i relapse (a possible thing, for everyone) i will get up again and recognize that i am a human, and humans make mistakes. The best thing is recognize that you have done you best, even if you fall. May we all have success.

 

Day 25