@recovery hammock - you have been added to the member ranking. Welcome to the group and I hope you have better luck than I've been having lately.
Checking in on Day 10. Things are going okay, for the most part, though life feels a bit grey and dull without the secret fantasies... I have been using meditation to good advantage, counting breaths when I'm feeling really jittery. The other day I felt like my mind was a bucket of serpents: It was too frightening to touch anything in there and all I could do was look on, horrified...
so the next 30 I will be fasting from dawn until dusk (12hrs) as Ramadan is knocking the door. it's gonna be challenging but it's a chance to correct and enhance my plan.
Checking in and almost made it to 30 days with no P. How can I change my signature to 'meeting my goals' as I would prefer this? Thanks
Checking in again, today. I had a couple drinks yesterday and, boy, did that make abstinance tough. But I hung in there and lesson learned. Thanks again for being here, y'all.
Checking in. Had some real cravings last night, was unintentionally exposed to a triggering image, but did some meditation, took a sleeping pill and did okay. A close call, though, the worst. Grateful to be on track today and feeling good. Thank you all for being here.
Day 192. I thought about ending my "no dating" rule to ask a girl out. I then decided against it. I'm on a such good stretch of solid momentum with personal changes, life changes, goal pursuits, etc. that I don't want any distractions. My mind then began to think of what I'll be like with another 90 days under my belt! I do desire a companion but my life seems to be very rewarding without the distraction. Onward and upward!!!
Probably a good idea. I was thinking about asking a woman at work out but then she started talking to another guy all time. I need to focus on getting back on track with my recovery.
I can relate and it's very tempting. Women can definitely sense the boost in confidence and start wondering what you're all about. At the same time, it's like we finally have some control over this issue and we feel rejuvenated. We start pursuing our goals more intensely and gain what no one can give us: self-respect. The trick is maintaining this, since the temptations can reappear without any notice. But the whole experience takes you to another level of mental clarity and you dread losing that.
I like how you are managing things. Just sit there and do anything else or do nothing and by working through it, you'll get stronger and stronger. Those pathways in your mind will start getting weaker and you'll have an easier time soon. I noticed that lately I'm more ok with being aroused and not doing anything about it. I am more used to the feeling. It used to be something that I needed to take care of one way or another. Really cool reading about your progress. I had an o on Saturday night (with partner) and I was feeling it Sunday. Motivation was lower than contemplating running through a brick wall, and I was low energy. I can feel it recovering today. Normally when I'm on small pmo streaks, I get drained by p the most, m without p the second most and o with partner is hardly felt. Now I guess I am more sensitive. I am starting to read up on semen retention and I think I'll start tracking that as a secondary goal.
today i feel overwhelmed, bored, stressed, and feeling shame for something I did, urges are back, it's funny how things can go haywire in a blink of an eye, I also feel self petty , for how we struggle getting clean to have a good descent life.