Hey! Sorry for the delay; I'm a bit busy rn, but bottom line is: I'm fine, all good I'll come by latter for further info on day 3 and today
Gets better don't worry. Its a marathon. You fail and you learn. Nope develop a system when ever she thing happens. Get back up Soldier. That's great man. How's Top gun movie? I was planning to go see it. Have fun. Just check in when you come back.
It's me again; let me bring to you some interesting things of what happened last 2 days Day 3, prob. near 6 p.m. I was able to experience something close to complete peacefulness. I was eating something like an apple maybe, and i suddenly stood by, in silence, i mean, mind silent. Such an overwhelming feeling.. I wish i could describe it better. Day 4 (today); went too the park (never felt such a joy in there like i did today, took a reaally slow walk between the woods) went there for exercise, so there is that too. Now I've got to clean up my room; been postponing that for ages. If anything happens I'll update you all.
Day 1 again, my third "frist step" towards another streak. I can handle urges very well but that flatline... ugh! That was very difficult for me. This time at least I will know what's coming and act (or not act) accordingly. I'm more motivated now in comparison to my previous streak!
Well 70 days are over. Flatline is shitty, my demons are all over me, they want me to go back to the way things were. So this demon pretty much has stopped the feeling of getting a dopamine from other activities which does not involve PMO. So as to you bend to the belief that only PMO IS THE ANSWER. You gotta fight this! this may seems the end but it is not, i know better things are present at the end of this muddle path. Only answer is KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
“On those mornings you struggle with getting up, keep this thought in mind—I am awakening to the work of a human being. Why then am I annoyed that I am going to do what I’m made for, the very things for which I was put into this world? Or was I made for this, to snuggle under the covers and keep warm? It’s so pleasurable. Were you then made for pleasure? In short, to be coddled or to exert yourself?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.1 It’s comforting to think that even two thousand years ago the emperor of Rome (who was reportedly a bit of an insomniac) was giving himself a pep talk in order to summon up the willpower to throw the blankets off each morning and get out of bed. From the time we’re first sent off to school until we retire, we’re faced with that same struggle. It’d be nicer to shut our eyes and hit the snooze button a few more times. But we can’t. Because we have a job to do. Not only do we have the calling we’ve dedicated ourselves to, but we have the larger cause that the Stoics speak about: the greater good. We cannot be of service to ourselves, to other people, or to the world unless we get up and get working—the earlier the better. So c’mon. Get in the shower, have your coffee, and get going.
Day 6. I went to bed after 1 AM to solve waking up too early and not being able to sleep. Worked quite well. Also made a point of going to office to work today to prevent idle hands making trouble ;-) Travelling to work should also help make me tired and go to sleep.
Since I failed yesterday and today I am completing my first day, I guess this would be day 0. Getting back on my feet, ready for battle, to do better every day. Thinking about the mistakes made, and making plans so that they never happen again. My previous mark was 23 days, it was quite a lot, but it will be little compared to what I will achieve this time. The fighting continues.
Back to day 0, I'm sensitive to even the tiniest bit of trigger, like in a TV show if they make a sex joke or whatever, I'mma be triggered. If I come here and read whatever thread, sometimes it triggers be. What I can do about it is : don't dwell too much on the forum but stay accountable, turn off my phone most of the day (I didn't pmo when I did that this week) and work on my psyche, be it by meditation, hypnosis, noticing thought patterns and reframing them with CBT, read about my attachment style etc