To be honest yes, you can be doomed if you allow it. It happened to me before, I was depressed since high school, later it take a tool on me. I was feeling hopeless. I wasn't happy at all about my life, I never wanted to commit suicide but I was really feel hate towards myself. Since I started nofap and avoiding femdom I feel way better.
I wouldn't say a flatline as I had a high feeling of libido but it wasn't directed towards anything, I think right now I achieve o from the sensations and anticipation of them rather than anything else. I'm still not fully where I want to be as I feel like the longer it takes me to o the more often I loose it and my drive goes.
Brother i tried to recondition myself by o to vanilla p but the problem is after o i don't get that much satisfaction as when i o to femdom p. It's somewhat like a tension building up inside me which pushing me to o to femdom or foot fetish p.
Hello, I have just seen a good part of your story and I thank you for your testimony, it is very courageous of you and I am convinced that it will help many people. I am in the same case as you. I have a fetish that started in childhood like you at the age of 6. Then I discovered porn around 11 years old on this somewhat extreme fetish and until today I watch it. I had several girlfriends and I always kept the fetishism secret. As you can imagine, I had election problems at the beginning, "normal" sex didn't excite me at all at the very beginning of my first relationship at the age of 18. At first it was a complex, my ego took a hit and I couldn't sleep with my first girlfriend. But we took our time, we tried several times and if I couldn't get it up and sleep with her, I tried to please her by simply doing foreplay. Then naturally, I was able to have an erection and sleep with it. It was a breakthrough and I didn't have any more election problems after that with her. With all the following girlfriends it was always the same pattern. A little bit of trouble to get a hard-on at the beginning, then naturally, it comes and no more erection problems afterwards. In the end, I took a lot of pleasure on the different sexual relations I could have. As much pleasure as my fantasy which is completely different from normal sex. All this to say that if I didn't manage to get rid of my fetish that I have had since childhood, I was able to learn to have normal sex at the age of 18 (I'm 26 now) and take a lot of pleasure and believe me, at the beginning it didn't attract me at all. If your masturbatory reconditioning is a good approach, maybe you should find a girlfriend and learn directly with her. Believe me, you will be able to have healthy sex with it. Cheer up.
It's nice to hear that mate, i m happy to see you did it and thank you for writing it here. So you never told to any of your girlfriends about your fetish? Please tell me how did you explained it to them?
No I never told them about the fetishism It depends, with one I didn't even have to talk about it, we just continued foreplay without sleeping together. Otherwise, if I feel that it can create an awkward moment, I reassure the girl that it's not because of her that I don't get hard. Some may think it's because they are not attractive enough. I just say that I need some time and they understand. I've never been rejected because of that. You shouldn't put pressure on yourself, you should play it down. You're far from being the first person to have erectile dysfunction. It's even likely that the girl you'll be with has already faced this kind of situation. In another story, my best friend couldn't have sex with his girlfriend for 3 weeks at the beginning of the relationship because he didn't have enough of a hard-on. After that, he had no more problems and they have been together for 3 years.
Sounds simple but isn't that easy when you are under pressure, seems to be best way to do it. I will take it easy and slow.
Yesterday and today i have done PMO to vanilla p once. Every day i speak to myself (inside myself) that i don't need femdom in my life and nobody needs femdom and such terrible thoughts. It will really lead me nowhere. Day by day i leaving femdom both in mind and habit. It is all nice to feel pleasure from some things (in my case femdom) but when price of that is expensive it just doesn't make any sense for me or anybody else to continue doing it. It traps you in fake reality > you are thinking to much about it > then you want to achieve it in real life > you realize that you can't just do it like that because pure femdom based relationship is not possible, because your confidence is crushed after all those years, you are confused (correct me if i m wrong please) > you realize that you will have to pay for your session with most probably some prostitute > you are feeling even worse after that because you can gain just one more addiction you don't even need > so after all this circle of thinking and torturing yourself you back to watching femdom porn because it is safest way > but you are not satisfied and want to achieve it and circle just go over and over again. That is what happening in my head since i was enter puberty and believe me it did made me feel crazy, i was depressed, i was anxious (still a bit sometimes). I was feeling terrible. Nobody needs to feel like this.
Feeling a bit hopeless if I’m being honest, pmo I cant seem to get out of, hocd thoughts acting up again and feeling realer than before. Can’t even get up to P anymore without worrying or questioning what I’m attracted to in said video, and worrying that I’m attracted to the dude rather than the female. Everyday it feels like internalized homophobia but I wouldn’t care if I were gay just don’t feel right to me dosent feel like me. Been liking women since I could remember, had crushes on teachers and everything but these thoughts have me thinking all of this was because of porn, and I never really liked said women. I don’t get repulsed by said thoughts anymore and that scares me to the max, it just gets worse everytime I pmo, I find my brain searching for dopamine in anything I do. These thoughts ave come and gone since they’ve started 4 years ago but it’s bad now, can’t even sleep without worrying I’ll have a gay dream.
I don't know mate, I was never in your shoes to know how you feel. Maybe to try and find root of your problem? If it is porn induced, which mean you have get addicted to that though porn and when you were bit older. If that's the case, you should stop overthinking. Most of problems starts from our head. You should try to relax, and not to think about that. I know it is hard and stressful I share similar problem but you must stop overthinking. Because it make small problem to be HUGE problem.
I had a wet dream about femdom, i didn't had noctural emission. I don't think it affect me much because i didn't even had a morning wood after dream in morning. Still got random boners during day, which means i m out of flatline. For now i m around 20+ days femdom free in form of it. I don't count days anymore, thas why i don't know correct number.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I still have these thoughts but they feel true and like I like them, but when I see a dude in person there is no sexual attraction there, I’m not nervous around them anymore and I can now get up to p which caused 2 relapses now I feel like my sexual energy is gone, I have a girl now and I was on a 9 day streak before I relapsed and I was so attracted to her it was crazy I still am but it feels muted and I can’t get up to her anymore, I’ve tried accepting the thoughts but it just makes me feel gay and I’m worried that it’s coming true. I’m scared that I’ve turned gay, that the hocd was just my “awakening” but I have no attraction to males so I’m confused.
The process is far from easy and can be quite slow, but I hope that you all liberate yourselves from this torment and enslavement
Doing good good thanks, been rewiring with my girlfriend and it's actually working pretty well I'd say in another month or two I'll be at a good level in terms of arousal ect. September last year I had zero sexual response and now I'm able to have sex and finish most of the time so very happy. I basically don't mo at all now and fetishes don't bother me as I have a healthy outlet. Hope all is well with you, keep going build yourself up, increase your self esteem and find a woman!
Yeah slow, but it's working, which is great. I would never believe i will ever get rid of this. For me only problem is arousal, because i don't think about real sex much, sometimes maybe, but rarely get boner to it (sometimes). When i m on hardmode streak i easy get erections because i m MO free obviously.
I m happy to hear that you are doing well mate, i will soon find a girlfriend and rewire, but i feel like i need a bit more time.
Is it easier now to feel arousal? I mean actual arousal, not just getting erections without touching? I m clean from any form of femdom for about a month for now. I will do soon a hardmode for a week or maybe less to recover a little.