Day 1/3 - Persevere Today my lower back ached all day but that didn't stop me from going to gym. Fasted too, feeling good alhamdulillah. Keep fighting.
Thank you brother. I am back in the civilized world today, but I still felt very "thirsty" with the girls today. I would like that to go away, or at least be reserved for the right scenarios, not when I'm half asleep on a bus and know I'm not going to talk to a girl anyway. Now I need to make a list of what I need to accomplish during my time off.
Happens to me too sometimes, don't worry about it, I think it's just part of the withdrawals to be honest. Try not to feed those memories when they come up though.
A single day does not define the years of experience you have lived through Let us continue dueling, there is no shame in admitting your weakness but there is shame in giving up
First night back in my own bed and I gave into this weird compulsive edging and couldn't seem to stop... I don't know how to describe it, but it's happened plenty of times and I'm annoyed because even though I felt very autopilot I could have done more to stop it. Is it the setting perhaps? Didn't happen in the hotel my employer put me up in. Now I have gave into masturbation three times today, but I'm still 14 days without porn. I suppose this concludes our battle @Redemptionisrequired but it isn't all a loss... For one thing I am pretty sure I don't have pied at this point, or it at least isn't near as bad. I've had this suspicion because I'm just not nearly as P dependent to get erections anymore, but I still think I'm a bit desensitized. I'm probably more prone to pied after prolonged porn binges now, but staying away from P makes a big difference. The problem is I'm using the fear of pied as an excuse to not interact with women because I'm scared to just in general, even before I was addicted to porn so I keep finding excuses not to engage with them and nofap reasons are easiest. In fact I'm certain if I didn't have so much fear of rejection in this area of life I never would have been a P addict period. I'm just going around in circles now and it shows, I need an actual plan to get on a date or something even if I bomb. Pretty sure I've made similar posts a number of times, but I gotta actually do it now... Anyway some lessons learned after this relapse.
When you think is about to happen. When tought enters your mind. Just run. Move immediately. Edging or mastrubation is awefull especialy 3 times in a day. Dont give a single moment to it. Thats the best strategy not to whole day fighting not to relapse.. but in the end you do and whole day passed by or morning or whatever. My friend you won this one. We can do a remach. All of that stands.. but it is worst timing. I have to get up every day early for the job stay there for 10 hours then go training kids in one sport then after that training I have to be on another(which is late at night) learning from another trainer with bigger kids and at the end of a week I have to make one training for them and I will have judge. I alos have a lot to learn/study for school to become trainer. Exsams are sonne. And I have to train on my own (just a gym) but I miss 2 days in row and tommorow I can't make it. At Saturday I'm going to compite in death lifts(I'm doing that first time. I was never intersted in that but why not) But this ruined my back and I feel tired becaouse of it and drained. That is just things that affects me. Others also depends on me. So its awefull. I don't want that to happen ever again!!!
Edging is an issue i have too, there is a huge connection with starting to edge and complete relapse. It is like playing with fire and not expecting any burns. I notice I stop edging if i follow a structured plan, for example I know exactly what I am doing in the morning with routine.
Day 2/3 - Patience Today I did Dhikr, kept working hard. Today didn't 'feel' nice but i still worked hard. Another big event happened today but I just gotta move forward.
I understand you brother, porn has created a level of comfort for us. As far as our battle, let us write this one off and go again. I edged and watched porn, I did not O though. Let us go above 2 weeks together this time. This will be the real deal fight, whoever takes it, will take it. Let's get it!
Hah! So much perseverance. So be it, let's try again. Two weeks is the starting goal! @HiddenWarrior Yeah, once you start you rarely escape... It's a big problem for me too, especially on sleepless nights. @Toni7 Yeah it's always best to push through no matter what... I hope I haven't reversed too much healing.
Good to see bro, let's do this. Day 3/3 - First target reached I did not feel good today at all, maybe due to withdrawals after three long months of chaser effect. I still completed gym, dhikr and I just have to get work done tomorrow and keep working.
