8 Days. At this stage I'm not thinking about reaching 30/60/90 days and all the benefits because it seems to far off. My main motivation at the moment is not going back to 0 Days. Whatever discomfort I am feeling now, it does not feel as bad as the horrible sinking feeling of relapse and Day 0. I will face and embrace whatever I have to as long as I don't feel that bad again.
The 10th day has just passed. The desire to watch a P movie is so high. There are so many thoughts crossing my mind and a huge urge to masturbate. But "I'm still standing" like Freddy said.
26 days completed... 4 more days to go... yesterday there was no much tendencies to watch porn... But at night I hard tye worst mood swing and depression. I couldn't sleep till 4 am. But reading about porn addiction and depression helped me a lot to go through those hard moments. I know I have started watching porn nearly 9 years ago, when I was a teenager. Recovering from this long bad habit and addiction will be very hard. I will keep this in mind and I will be alert. Notes from what I read today about porn addiction: Dopamine rush produces a molecule called DeltaFosB. This molecule is considered as a molecular switch for addiction.It is released in reward circuitry and it takes at least 2 months to dissipate. But changes it cause can remain. Dopamine will say 'this is so important, you have to do it again and again'. While the job of DeltaFosB 's job is to remember and repeat the activity. This molecule rewire the brain to want 'it'. This leads to do it. Doing trigger dopamine rush and that cause accumulation of DeltafosB. This loop continues and addiction behaviour get more and more strong.
8 days and including a week end ... 5 day on 1h sport a day ... but I know wehn it gets closer to the 10 days things get into next level for me I feel urges come now with diffrent angel - why is the addicted brain so smart