Yes, right now it does seem that way. Don’t drop your guard though, it may get a little bumpy as you travel on.
15. 1/21. Having a lot of urges but I’m trying to remember what I really want. However good giving in will feel won’t equal how good it feels to be clean.
Day 0, welp. ...that said, restarted some things that I had let go of last December temporarily. All I know is this - this year I recover. By living my life. Why do I know this, despite my early months and my several relapses in the past week? Because I know I have all my tools. I have my goals. And I am capable of faith(whether its myself, or my capabilities on the basis of being human, or being slightly agnostic). Commitment...I am capable of that too. There are no reasons for me to still be in this rut. That SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION is some good shit BTW, if anyone is on the fence about reading it. Lets go. Gonna do some brisk walking and meditation to help my emotional meltdown that will likely follow.
Day 6. Ran my first race today. My wife ran it with me. It was a great time! Set us up for an odd day though, the timing for everything was off by a bit.
Relapse a couple of days ago but in doing so I had a revelation of sorts. I focused so much last time I relapsed on putting software on my computer and phone to help stop my relapses. However in my latest relapse I realized none of that matters if I don’t changed my mindset. I need to stop “blaming” the devices and start focusing on myself. At the end of the day I chose to watch porn a a master bate Day 0