Had another fall. I don't want to let it go it seams. I am better at watching my thoughts and motivations. Conversations with myself. "What is your motivation to stop?" Answer comes. "To be awesome." I ask "Why do you want to be awesome?" "So my brother will accept me." Me to myself. "He never will" "ouch" "Why do you need him to accept you?" "Because he is so much better than you and your value depends on how good you are" This is my subconscious speaking. I consciously know that this is aburd. This is the underworkings of what is going on. It is amazing how clearly I am seeing these days. My parents and my brother are real a holes and think they know everything. I believed them. They also shamed me and made me feel stupid a lot. Now I just need to figure out how I can change this. Rosary time.
Day 76 almost relapse today, but I escaped on time. Day 84 clean Keep going guys Good night everyone.
Relapsed... i was just 3 hrs short of making day 1...... anyways now its 50 relapses in 19 days..congrats to myself...big achievement
As I had mentioned all of this yesterday , later , last night.i was slightly aroused (without any erections) and then I went to sleep.I.had a.wet dream , but it. had nothing to do with what I saw yesterday (the images) , In fact , it had my previous sexual fetish that I had not seen or even thought of for months.I do NOT think I should consider this a relapse , as the evacuation was completely unintentional and it had nothing to do with what I saw .
38/90 Work had been crazy hardly get time to myself but I have noticed my morning wood is gone sex drive is at zero But I have come too far to quit
This is so true. The sooner you own your actions and decisions, the sooner you realise that everything you do is your own responsibility. And that you should look within and take responsibility. Porn is not the devil or some mythical evil that takes you over, everytime you relapse it is your own choice. And the only way to improve is if you take that as your own, learn from it, and live with it.
very good bro, it showed self-control. but you didn´t need to put yourself to test. being in flatline - dead dick - is perfectly normal in the reboot. as your brain is rewiring you´ll have urges periods and flatline periods, don´t worry about that. just keep going in the end your sexual health will change a lot for the better.
