I’ve posted some long posts today on my journal and in other forum areas, which is my way with dealing with being back at 0. I won’t repost here, you can find the post in my Journal if you’re interested. I am on a bit of a downer still following yesterday. I am fighting a number of demons (rejection, stress, homesickness, apathy) which I have recognised today all all pushing me towards escape. That escape being the habitual tendency from years of abuse to head to P. What I failed to do yesterday, was to recognise that I was in that moment of unease, being hooked, and I failed to change the surroundings or relax in that moment. I learnt today about the Buddhist concept of Shenpa (which I talk about in the Jorunal post) - the hook of habitual acting out. It really echos so many of the issues we are facing as recovering addicts here. That urge to scratch an itch, although the scratching makes us worse That momentum behind urges can be so strong that we don’t pull out of the habitual pattern of turning to poison for comfort. That’s how we have to recognise P, it is a poison. P is a short term relief from uneasiness - but it’s consequences are a poison. The trick is catching this urge before we scratch our itch in the habitual way. Now, my determination to push through the 67 days I managed last time, and to reach the 90 days is reinvigorated. I will need to post here more often (although I will hopefully not take up so much space all the time!!) Major Ecomunchies is back, and returning to the fight with new weapons.
Definitely on board for this. Lowly peasant at the moment. Would also be interested in a "duel" if anybody is interested. Could be fun to combine the two.
day 3 medicine knocks me out and makes me super tired, but if i don't take it i struggle to sleep. No PMO issues finding that easy so far.
Completed one week...on Day 8 @MASTER MONK I'm having headache's dont know if due to withdrawal symptoms... but trying to go strong. 2nd Lieutenant | BE THE ELITE | OPEN FOR ALL