35 and older accountability, Group 2

@Espi1971 are you freaking out a bit cause she said shes falling in love with you. I know in my own experience that that can happen. Don't get me started on the link between weed and pm. that's why ive started making this commitment to no pm . My girlfriend moved in during the lockdown and she went to work today and I immediately got strong urges to m to p. I did some gardening but couldn't fight the urge and then I had thoughts of smoking but I didn't. I did m to p, and then came on here cause Im fed up of porn and how addicted to it I am and what it does to my brain thanks for listening .

 

This is my first day wanting accountability for no mp. I am liking the fact that I can go to this site to do something healthy and life affirming rather than go on other sites that have taken up so much of my time over the years. The challenge will come at the times when my partner goes out for a few hours. Im 44 now and looking back the urge to m or use p when people are out the house goes way back. I want to get to a place where I can be happy doing stuff in my own company that doesnt involve m or p. Im glad that this space exists and would value any tips on how to use it more rigorously.
i just feel a bit jumpy and agitated and my brain has got used to telling me that m and p is the only fix for that
i guess i need to hang in there and it will get easier
what I know helps: going for a run, meditating, reading a good crime/scifi novel/ gardening/being in the outdoors/connecting with people via zoom whislt on lockdown/ cooking/ coming on here, writing down my dreams (does anyone find their dreams are intense in lockdown),
what I know doesnt help and I am doing: putting off doing coursework for my nurse prescribing training ( I am really good at lazing and avioiding), looking on websites that I would usually m to without doing it (is that 'edging?)

 

I have read the rules and would like to join this group.

 

Hey man! I can totally relate to the struggle.

Im not sure what your feeling but you may want to look up to 5 stages of the grief process - to process the healing - and being ready to move forward.

I'm also in sales and have a quota! so if/when your ready to start crushing it and want to connect and get insights and mastermind you can drop me a note

 

I was cruising along. Then today my boss hinted about giving a project to a Vice President instead of me, more junior. That stung my ego. We’ll be going back into office in two weeks and that means my company is going to resume the massive layoffs it had been doing. They announced it publicly yesterday. Being home and away from that stress has actually been more productive for me. I’m dreading that. I see the resentment and the dread and the fear. I want to act out. But I know it will not help me much. Nothing will really remove the pain and fear I feel except me. I must tune out the noise and find a way to still be compassionate and awake, even while struggles happen around me, without them unnecessarily bringing me down. I must stay in my line.

Positive step: I had great intimacy with wife this weekend and suddenly we were so nice to each other again. It feels good.

 

Today was another tough day. I had my projects reviewed by people and it’s always tough to take the feedback of others. That makes me want to eat and use PMO to numb out. I’ve put on weight in quarantine and I ate more tonight.

I really want to push and get my next milestone at 21 days. I’m going to have to be mentally tough to do it. I want to do it because my life is better sober than the hours I spend acting out.

 

I have read the rules and I would like to join

 

I had a rough day after a 28 day streak. Back to day 1 (on 4/22/2020). But now I have 4 days again.

 

Also, I have an idea what if we make the rules so we make the room available to younger people? like 27+ ? Also, update the rules for more active engagements like a post every 2 weeks.

 

Welcome back. I lost mine at 19 days. Stressful day at work and been binging since.

 

Update 170

I just want to share this to inspire others not to brag and to keep myself grounded and committed to keep going for the rest of the year (and hopefully beyond)

Feeling a sense of gratitude as it is 10 days to my 6 months anniversary. The last time I was able to go hard mode for 6 months was in 2014 during which I attracted a really amazing relationship for the next 2.5 yrs.

Reflecting back I also realize I am in a very dangerous spot right now - as I am feeling the acceleration that is taking place in my life. and when it does it is easy to get arrogant and forget the routines, people and disciplines that developed me to this new state of being.

Looking back the past 6 months its like a miracle.

I went from no money, no job, depressed, lost and confused to now having cleared my M/C after 3 yrs, having savings, and having the highest paying job i have ever had working remote and in the process of relaunching my business, and created 2 different masterminds one for meditation and one for business development.

All happened in 6 months it's like night and day. I imagine if I remain this way and keep my 5 personal and 5 professional disciplines I will be on track to reaching all my goals for the year.

 

Welcome yeah would be happy to join

 

I’m struggling so isolating away from this group. I wonder how many others are like me in here.