Checking in. Saw some triggering images at Twitter today, I wasn't careful. Got some strong urges with an intensity I did not expect, but now as I have studied more about reboot and addiction I know this makes sense because addicts can become extremely sensitive to seemingly harmless triggers, especially in the first stages of the withdrawals. Managed to get away from the images, redirect my thoughts and did some bodyweight exercises instead. A nice win today. Spoiler: Daily tasks 1. Physical exercise. (Done) 2. Meditation. (Done) 3. Study about reboot. (Done) 4. Eating in moderation. (Average; had some left-over cake from a celebration last night)
Day 3 I haven't been feeling great at all today, I think I'm starting to catch a cold or something because I'm just feeling really icky. Because of how shitty I've been feeling my appetite has gone down the drain so I haven't really eaten much at all today. I've had a bunch of urges today, most of them were triggered by something and obviously I've been at an even worse disadvantage than usual because of this unwellness and my stomach hurting from how hungry I've been. Because I've been so hungry - but couldn't eat due to my lack of appetite - I was really struggling to get myself to do stuff to deal with the urges because I wanted to eat so badly and so that was hindering me from doing anything. "I should really do this thing but I need to eat, but I can't get myself to eat so I should do this first and then eat afterwards, but I REALLY need to eat my stomach literally hurts!!!". I eventually got myself to eat an apple and then showered and went out. Before those 3 things I was attending my usual daily meditation group session but I happened to realise that one of the people that attends actually has an NSFW reddit (it was linked on her profile. the first mistake was clicking on her profile in the first place). Most of my urges today after that point have been because my addiction is screaming at me to check out her page. I've been using that list that I made yesterday and like I said before, ate an apple, showered and went out for a bit. Once I came back, the urges kept coming back, I used Microcosmic Orbit breathing, music as well as a new technique which might sound very strange but has worked surprisingly well so far. Basically every time you have a craving, you would imagine and sort of simulate in your mind the sensation of an orgasm. You don't imagine any P nor M, simply the recollecting and simulating an O in your mind. Surprisingly it calms down my cravings by quite a bit (I've tried it 3 times so far). v Here's the video in case if I've explained it incorrectly or awkwardly. v Also, here's the music that helped with my urge.
Day 1. Today I started reviewing my strategies and to look what things I need to change or add to do it better this time , every time it’s an opportunity to do it better so, let’s go and keep walking step by step.
Day 73. Tired today. Had a long day at work, tomorrow will be too... Got through it though. These girls are crazy though, they don't even wear bras around here anymore. See through tops sometimes, everything. Makes it harder sometimes. This one girl I see there a lot that I've always thought was pretty cute comes in and seems like she has this see through tank top thing with no bra. I was tempted to look more, and typically I'm really really bad for irl fishing but I dunno... I just didn't this time. Guess that's progress.
Again havent been on in ages and relapsed pmo last night. My streak was about +30 days, they are getting longer. This time i leave this selfish lust behind for good as my gf and me also plan to become parents next year. If i am to become the best version of myself for both of them this must end. Day 0 - Nazgul. Strangely i do not feel broken or drained or whatsoever. But never will i ever give up. We can and we will do this together!
Had a good start into the day-prayed, meditated and the weather outside is sunny and cheerful. Had a thought about good planing and apparently many experts mention deadline as an inseparate part of any good plan. What do you think brothers?
Day 0 Hello guys. I havent been able to send messages for a long time, because I moved into a new aparment and I had no internet connection. I relapsed several times during the process so I have to begin the new one from 0. Have a good day guys!
Day 8 Hallelujah! It is so much fun to change the renk in the signature. I'm going all the way this time. Doday I stayed alone at home while my girlfriend went to university and I did it. Stayed focused on good stuff that I can do, thought about how sad it would be if I would failed and even though I got a weird P flashbake, I literally shaked myself like a dog and moved on.
yeah, bro, don´t stare, staring is fishing. fishing is the beginning of problems. Keep up with me my brother, one day at a time
yeah, i think that tony robbins also advices on that: deadlines as a necessary part of any goal acomplishment. i´ve never try it though , but check him out, he sures gives advices on that
Checking in Brotherhood Feeling a bit sleepy today, but overall i feel well, confident and less anxious. rising indeed Small urges to report, nothing serious. one thing i notice now, and already noticed on previous long streaks, is the ability for the brain to downgrade and find excitment in minimal triggers. when in regular porn consumption, or in the first weeks of rebooting, only hardcore content could excite me. now any kind of content, even the most innocent, like girls in bikini, can fire me up like if it was hardcore porn. this is a good sign of recovery since it shows that the brain is more sensitive to regular sexual triggers, instead of shitty unnatural stimulation. but it´s also a sign that we should be careful, because the addict brain can quickly turn those triggers into a triggering behaviour (fishing) if we´re not aware of it. Checking out. Have a great day Fellowship!!! Love you all. Here´s a great song that i´m hearing now, that pop in my head this morning, don´t know why