Yes, exercise is key. Not only for those suffering with PAWs, the natural endorphin release from moving is, in my opinion, crucial for human thriving. You are correct, this is very important. There is a small but still significant correction I will make to your proposal. It is not only irrational beliefs that will surface. The addictive mind is cunning, it will bring forth very strong, perceived rational and logical arguments. It is not always a clear irrational thought, quite the contrary sadly. It is very important to call out that belief as the voice of the addict, expose it for the liar that it is. This will strengthen your resolve. As you mentioned, writing it out will help it stick. This is a big part of what has lead me this far.
Day 1. I had a relapse to masturbation late last night. I know one thing I could have done better to save myself, which was breathing exercises and mindfulness, but the physicality of the urge felt so overwhelming and unstoppable that I'm not sure it would have helped. It really doesn't feel like I'm the one masturbating. My body is masturbating and I'm just along for the ride whether I like it or not. WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!
Day 4 Did my morning meditation. And in the middle of it I just got hit with one frame from one scene I remember, and I can’t shake this picture out of my head. This is madness. It’s been an hour and a half already and every ten seconds it’s popping up in my head. That is just stupid. I don’t want to relapse because of one fucking picture. Sometimes this fight is just shitty. I’ve done hard stuff in my life before. But this is the one thing in my life that truly makes me feel week like a child. There is just no reason for this to be so hard.
Fuck Nazgul again. That ONE fucking picture I could not get out of my head killed me and took me down.
Checking in Fellowship!! Good day so far, though i feel a bit tired now after lunch. Some incidents among the Companion today, i hope you guys can recover from that and get back on the horse . As for me, i got to confess something, i´m refraining a bit from posting, since my last collapse showed me that i´m still far from mastering the reboot process, i´m still learning. so i´m afraid somehow that i could give wrong advice to you guys, so i will focus on my own journey and start giving support once i feel stability and confidence in my strategy, especially in the long run. i know in the short run how things are, the tactics, but in the long run, i´m still a newbie, i still have lot´s of things to learn and improve. Anyway, all information that i learn i´ll glady share it with you Fellowship. Have a good Sunday my friends. See you tomorrow
Water fast 6/7 Almost done day 6 and starting day seven. Good day, it took more effort to do the same activities but I did some running, weights, yoga. Mental clarity is good. One day to go
Day 4 or 5 No cravings, which is good, but just struggling with some laziness and low energy. I guess it happens. I know I'll feel better once I start a task and dig into it.
Day 1 - Orc I hope everyone had a great Halloween! It's my Dad's birthday today so we spent some time hanging out with each other and playing board games with the family which was really nice.