Do I have to be a dick for girls to like me?

I dont know if she is still shit testing me or what it is but she seems to be making new plans without checking with me first. We were supposed to meet today. She told me she got the whole day free but when I asked her out she had a change of plans. Again.

I called her out and she started arguing that I said this and that. She tried to find reasons to justify her behavior and referred to a two day old message where she asked us to meet today at 5 pm.

That was for tomorrow but the second person involved caught covid so I already told her that tomorrow was cancelled.

So she mixed up today and tomorrow and made plans, totally forgetting about the plans we made just a day or so ago. I know she got a memory like a gold fish but I have standards and I dont want her to be the reason I am wasting my time.

So I told her I am going home after going out bowling with my other friend today.

I know she feels bad about this and honestly she should. I dont like calling people out. The paradox here is that it made her beg for me to stay for just a few more hours so that we can meet.

I mean do I have to be a dick for girls to like me?

 

I think my posts have been about different girls actually. Maybe the last one was a rant about this girl. I dont remember. Anyways, she is not a good match. Pretty and charming but I would say immature.

Its her way or the highway pretty much and that is a turn off. After meeting her today, I feel like maybe meeting her again. As a friend and nothing more. Attraction went to zero.

If it is going to work out long term as a friendship, she has to compromise. It was cute maybe the first two times when the conversation went something like this:

Me: Coffee or a cafe?

Her: Hike up that super high mountain?

Second date:

Cafe, pub, somewhere chill?

Her: Hike up that super high moutain again?

Me: Nah, I want to just talk.

Her: Hike??

Yea, you get the story. After hiking with her three times I have had enough.

I will suggest a completely different location a few weeks down the line. If she isnt willing then I guess I am out.

 

If it was just that one time, I wouldn't read too much into it. If she means any harm with it or not is impossible for me to decide.

The only thing I know is that she doesn't show up and that it happened two days in a row. That tells me that she is unreliable. And I let her run over me a few times now. If I stand my ground and she wont budge, I cant do anything but walk away.

 

With all this said and done. I guess I am a recovering nice guy. Starting to set up boundaries is new to me. But today I realized that my standards are higher than this girl.

I expect people to be reliable, show up roughly on time and to be willing to compromise.

Thats some of my standards and she isnt ticking of any of them.

 

I live in another city so it was sort of a big deal to travel that distance just to have her waste two out of tree days. She just wasted my time. I dont have any contact with her anymore. She was pretty and charming but got too little respect for me for my taste. It was though to let her go but she didnt treat me like a date. I even expect my friends to show up on time. If they always flake or show up half an hour too late, it doesnt give a good impression.

 

I guess she did I am sort of happy I met her. She taught me some lessons. Even though it didnt work out. I guess I learned that pretty doesnt always equal keeper.

 

This sounds true to me. She obviously liked me but something was up. I got emotionally invested early on. Big mistake. She had a crush on me maybe but she didnt see me as boyfriend material. In hinsight, I think she just wanted to keep me around as some sort of friend she could just run over. I dont think she was absolutely diabolic or anything but for her it must have made sense. She wanted to hang out later too but she seemed all over the place. Hot and cold, unable to make up her mind. So I have cut her off for a while now. Maybe not forever but until I can be with her without getting emotionally attached.