Day 3 complete! More of the same of what I reported yesterday--feeling drawn towards PMO for reasons that were easy for me to identify, and by virtue of that awareness having the grace to say no to them firmly. I am not a PMO user. I am not someone controlled by PMO. I am not someone consumed by lust. I was made for love. @Say_Goodbye Forgive me--I didn't mean finding activities to do outside of the house, "getting outside" in that sense, but actually just being out of doors in the wind and the sunlight. It's surprising what a pick-me-up simply placing ourselves in that environment can be, and if it involves you getting up and walking away from whatever is stressing or triggering you, even better.
Day 83 complete. Yesterday I was busy the whole day from 6am to 10pm and I rested for 5min. I wish to rest a little more. Because I want to be strong and healthy. I think that I should provide some more rest time for my wife as well, she was with me all day. And it’s not like we are doing wery important things. How to value your rest more than small things you have to do? Maybe it comes with experience e.g. on this weekend I learned a bit about that.
Day 378 no PMO. Good day overall. No urges today. I did criticize my daughter on something she did at softball and it hurt her. I need to do better about positive reinforcement instead of criticizing.
Day 45, feeling like shit for no reason, probably just flat line or brain healing. I forgot how long and dull this phase felt from previous streaks. In another 45 days most of these feelings should be gone and dopamine receptors should be closer to normal and I can start getting back to living my best life I was at a year ago. For now, trying not to dwell on negative thoughts and not giving in to self hate. Temptations coming in stronger, will keep this forum near here and the emergency tools. Goal is 1000 days.
I understand what you mean brother, and I agree with what you are saying. It is not what I meant in my post, I don't mean for the rewards to be my means of abstinence, or to confirm that I am losing something of value. I thank you for sharing your thoughts and concern about my decision though, this is why I know I can count on our fellowship for support. I should clarify my position a little better. I'm not using the rewards as the backbone of my journey. I doubt I would have made it and even a third of the way from where I am today, if that were to be the case. As I mentioned in my previous post, those "rewards" still felt lacklustre in comparison to the fantasy in relation to a crush and an ex of mine. The rewards are merely an added recognition of the path I'm on. The items I've chosen are meant to remind me of my study and the mindset I wish to emulate, from the teachings of the men I admire. I.e one reward is a small statue of Marcus Aurelius, another is an additional book on stoicism. All these things are meant to support my journey and growth. I've added this system at the moment because of my current predicament, for the plethora of urges that have come forward, just as an added push against the temptation demon. They are not, however, replacing the base foundation of my recovery. That is based on my meditation practice, emotional management, study, exercise, journaling, eating well and sleeping well. I have not lost my way brother, don't worry. Again, I thank you for your valid concern and for sharing your thoughts with me.
Day 214 Today I took a decision. I will practice chastity to the fullest. This means I'm not going to have sex with any girl untill I find the right one, and I'm (and she is) 100% sure we're getting married. It might sound weird for some, but I believe that having sex just to feel good it's only lust, just like PMO. And I don't want to be a slave in any level or form of lust. It will be a big challenge, I'm surrounded by cute/hot girls right now (from my career). But I know that nothing it's impossible for God.
i think you´re spot on bro . Anything that motivates one path is good, that´s why there´s so many time marks and items on the LOTR challenge. But anyone can create it´s one additional reward system. That´s a great way to keep motivation running, specially when hard times appear . Keep going ma man
Checking in Fellowship!! 31 days, getting my Elven Cloak Wake up very tired this morning, it was hard to take my cold shower, but i did it A bit of brain fog through the day, specially after lunch, but less than before. One thing i notice is that my dignity, with the previous techniques i told you about, is rising. even if i´m tired and unmotivated i still try to do my personal and professional things, i don´t skip tasks, i try to be ponctual, etc It´s hard sometimes, but it definitely pays out, because in the end, even if you don´t feel well, at least you feel satisfied because you did your things. Checking out brave Warriors!! Onwards!!!!!
It is said that we all have an inner child inside. Here is a little article for those with inner and outer children. Rewarding children: Why rewards will not be good for kids’s behaviour