Day 31. Feeling very good, much better than previous two/three days. It occurred to me that telling myself I have been 31 days without PM is a negative way of thinking, instead I ought to think that I have been free for 31 days, phrase it more positively, change thinking in terms of what I have stopped and more in terms of what I have gained, which is being the person I want to be, feeling independent. I have struggled with mental health issues in the form of depression, and putting PM behind me is one more aspect of turning my back on all forms of negativity. My practice of Ashtanga yoga has come on leaps and bounds this past month, and cold showers have been a revelation to me, not in terms of helping with urges but that they give such an amazing energy boost and sense of self discipline. Banishing all negativity.
Day 11 done , slip up again watching shorts . No adult content tho , no erections , no masturbation . Have a good night
Day 9 No urges. Did back stretches and pushups. Played fifa for a while and watched some netflix. Worked for rest of the time. Tried my hand at Kaggle competitions, got frustrated. But didn’t PMO. GOING STRONG!
Help!! My fiancé was M’ing in the next room. I am having trouble not taking that personally. It feels like she is trying to intentionally cause injury. Which makes me feel like I was doing the same to her for the past 10 years now. I hate it. I feel irritated and frustrated. I’m angry. Hope these feelings go away. I don’t like them at all
Hey man ive been good. I found a girl i really like but erectile dysfunction is sort of killing me. working hard on this problem. How youve been? checking
Day9. Had a horrible night. Dreams of nudity. Hope this goes away soon. Don’t feel good today. Still in bed. Don’t feel like going to work even. But I’m gonna move my butt now after I post this
I quit smoking as well 2 days ago. Suddenly realised I slept with the nicotine patch on. Hence the vivid dreams. Not gonna make this mistake again
Day 41 No real urges apart from the thing that happened in yesterday morning. Was able to do some study about subjects for my job, as I am aiming to get some industry certificates soon. Spent way too long on my first quotation for my customer. Wanted it to be perfect, but it never is. Work out: I continued my elaborate dumbbell workout and I feel much stronger. Took a walk in the evening. Netflix: Watched The Good Place for an hour. Did you know that show has 4 seasons? Meditation: I did a guided meditation, but didnt care for it at all. I got distracted by the tension in the voice of the speaker and I couldn't really follow the instructions. The music was also stupid. Your Brain On Porn / Study: I read about a news article about someone who was addicted to PMO. In the span of 1,5 year she got incredibly addicted and skipped school to do it. It was shocking to read. She had intense therapy to deal with her addiction. But imagine that it was 23 years instead of 1,5 years. It is dangerous my dudes! Don't underestimate it. Sleep + evening routine: Started my routine on time and went to bed on time. Feel rested and fresh
I've been great man. College is really hectic so most of my time goes there. I'm really enjoying it ngl. No luck on the dating front yet haha. But overall, can't complain, life's been great!
I have a gigantic urge to watch beautiful women! Not P, but just look at naked women. Uuuuuugh. Got to stay strong.
Today, I relapsed many times due to huge anxiety. Don't know what will happen now. Resetting my counter back to zero.
Checking in - Yesterday I was half productive and half little bitch. I`m procrastinating a lot, but I`m slowly coming back with my routine. Yesterday I was going through my phone files and then there were porn videos, I didn`t watch nor got excited, but I consider as a relapse.
Day 32. Feeling absolutely great. Felt strong urges yesterday evening, almost welcoming them now as I feel increasingly confident in overcoming them with each passing day, must stay conscious and not allow myself any complacency. I have never felt this positive on any streak before. I read a Greek myth and it struck me very powerfully: Actaeon whilst out hunting came upon Artemis bathing. Captivated by her nakedness he watched her until she saw him. She turned him into a stag, and his own dogs turned on him are tore him to pieces. It seems to me that I have been repeating the Actaeon myth, torn apart by my own "dogs" when I have gazed lustfully at images of women's bodies. Feels very significant to me. Wishing everyone the strength and motivation to keep going in the right direction.
