P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

I know 3 persons.

 

Still. I see where you at. I was at this position but a couple relapses send me back further from being recovered. I think a relapse set one back to 21-30 days when in PAWS.

 

Yes it's most likely paws.

 

Try and pay close attention to your lifestyle on a day to day basis. What are you eating? When are you eating it? When do you sleep? How long do you sleep for? What is your emotional mood like? Scrutinise everything.

While I certainly cannot guarantee it, if you wake up feeling depressed, you should be able to retrace your steps, look at the previous day/weeks and find something that could be causing your feelings of depression.

 

2 individuals. 1 I still speak to, the other is long gone.

 

it sounds like you have hit a flatline. If you are like me then you will go through many flatlines throughout your recovery. The low mood, low energy and fatigue are very common in the flatline.

Ive noticed that when i get through a flatline i come out the other side feeling better than a month before. My flatlines are generally worse in the morning as i wake up with low mood until about mid day. I use to call it depression but i really think thats the wrong word for it.

the flatline is important when going through recovery as i believe this is when most of the healing is being done.

 

Yeah, I too remember that I wasn't able to meditate right in my last flatline, felt like wasted time. And the severity of the depression that descended on me during that time surprised me because I'm not a depressed person.

My flatline lasted between 10 to 13 days. I wonder how long will be yours. Stay strong. As somebody already said here - I too believe that this is where the most healing takes place. And also it is my experience that as soon as you make it through, You might actually be doing better than before the flatline even started.

These flatlines are the periods when mental urges grow stronger and make us consider self-medicating to relieve this misery. Stay strong. Best of luck to you. You're doing great.

 

I agree with all of this. For me, it ain't depression caused by any one decision, it's a sort of psychological cataclysm caused by an increased desire for relapse within my body. If I say "no" long enough then that particular period of intense pain and craving fades, and I feel a smidge "stronger" and further along the healing spectrum. Seems like my brain and body are making me feel like I'm in hell so that I'll return to porn and masturbation to soothe the pain.

 

I'm shocked. There are several people here who were at the very beginning of this topic a few years ago. They are still not healed. There are few examples of healing after long lines. Nightmare.

 

If you are not doing so well you tend to concentrate on the negative. I am okay today and I looked at the first pages and I saw a different picture. Out of the first four pages most profiles are deleted and I still found two profiles whose latest posting indicate recovery:

And yes, there were I think two profiles who are still around. But maybe if you look deeper (I didn't) what their longest clean streak is, maybe that put things into perspective. In the end it is not all bad and hopeless. We don't know how long it is going to take for each of us individually, but as long as we stick to a clean streak, recovery seems very very likely.

 

The majority of those who heal never return to write their success stories.

After recovery, they hardly relate to other addicts.

Either they find life so enjoyable after recovery that they can't get enough of it. Or they find PAWS too dark that they want nothing to do with it ever again.

I've read they also barely remember what exactly they were suffering during the PAWS period. Some of them don't even believe they were in PAWS.

I didn't make up those reasons. They've said such and such to "comfort" current sufferers after years of being off the forum.

That's why I tell people to invest some time to read success stories on the benzos & anti-depressant forums.

 

can u link those forums?

 

I think when PAWS ends, it's like a Switch. I had that glimpse twice. And it stayed for a few seconds before I went back to PAWS misery.

 

sadly, im one of those people. I remember reading this thread when it first came out years ago.

the only thing that was still holding me in paws was relapse. More specifically edging relapses. They are absolutely devastating to your progress.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressant...es-recovery-from-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/
https://benzobuddies.org/forum/44-success-stories/
These are the two "main" ones, but I am sure there are more. Feel free to add any I missed. Reddit can be a good resource as well, if you use it with a pinch of salt.

Honestly, one of the most reassuring things I ever did was to start Googling my symptoms like this:
"benzobuddies air hunger"
"benzobuddies cognitive impairment"
"benzobuddies fasciculations"
"benzobuddies muscle twitches"
"survivingantidepressants brain fog"
You catch so much more fish this way, which is very reassuring, and it really proves that we are dealing with a larger issue.

It's insane. I can feel my muscles twitching every time I lie down, and all I can think is, "Holy shit. I really have been doing hardcore drugs since I was too young to know any better." I fear for the young people out there who may go through this in the coming years, what with the advent of VR. Who knows what the consequences will be? But I'm going to try to be positive and not get bogged down in those thoughts.