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zilean
Last Activity:
May 5, 2024 at 9:38 AM
Joined:
Apr 14, 2020
Messages:
108
Likes Received:
426
Trophy Points:
63
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Following 10

  1. Lou Bloom
  2. Bingles
  3. AppleButter
  4. IWantToBreakFree123
  5. Ghost️
  6. LostSon41
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Followers 9

  1. Sammy1914
  2. Rocky Mountain
  3. goodnice 3.0
  4. Revolutionar
  5. reconditioned mind
  6. Macamhain
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Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Aug 21, 1996 (Age: 27)
Location:
Texas

zilean

Fapstronaut, Male, 27, from Texas

I don’t think I fully believe PMO is bad for me. I know it’s a don’t do from scripture, but I’m not locked in on my why. May 5, 2024 at 9:19 AM

zilean was last seen:
May 5, 2024 at 9:38 AM
    1. zilean
      zilean
      I don’t think I fully believe PMO is bad for me. I know it’s a don’t do from scripture, but I’m not locked in on my why.
      May 5, 2024 at 9:19 AM
      1. Wizardrabbit and Don80 like this.
      2. Don80
        Don80
        Because the brain knows that it's a shortcut to easy dopamine. That's what the game is about: saying no to short-term pleasures that are harmful in the long run or aren't aligned with your values. There's always a price you have to pay. Think what you lose for a temporary pleasure.
        May 5, 2024 at 11:07 AM
        Wizardrabbit likes this.
      3. Brother Ass
        Brother Ass
        From a faith perspective, I would say it’s bad because it reduces our neighbor to parts instead of focusing on them as a whole; made in the image of God. As Pope John Paul II said: “Porn doesn’t show too much of a person, it shows far too little”. We were created to love and porn is not loving.
        May 5, 2024 at 12:01 PM
        Don80 likes this.
    2. zilean
      zilean
      my sleep schedule's been busted. gotta try and reset that.
      May 3, 2024 at 2:14 AM
      1. Lou Bloom and Wizardrabbit like this.
    3. zilean
      zilean
      Volunteered today and ate lunch with a lady friend. Washed clothes, hung them, strummed guitar. Pretty good day. No relapse temptations
      Apr 27, 2024
      1. Rocky Mountain, GodsDaughter, Wizardrabbit and 2 others like this.
    4. zilean
      zilean
      MO’d yesterday. Going to reset the counter. Not thoughts of images. Too much YouTube and was looking for more excitement
      Apr 27, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
      2. zilean
        zilean
        Update in the journal
        Apr 27, 2024
        Wizardrabbit likes this.
    5. zilean
      zilean
      Journaled last night, “why did I start recovery?” Good reminders. Onto a new day. Ty Jesus for being my sin offering that made me clean!
      Apr 25, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit and Lou Bloom like this.
    6. zilean
      zilean
      “Praise God from whom all blessing flow…”
      Apr 24, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit, GodsDaughter, Lou Bloom and 1 other person like this.
    7. zilean
      zilean
      Feeling really rough today. Brain ain't firing, not motivated to do things. Stressors at work. Just want some wins
      Apr 23, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and Ghost️ like this.
    8. zilean
      zilean
      That weekend strength reminds me of the verse where he mounts us up on “wings like eagles, they will walk and not faint”
      Apr 22, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit, Dying Light, Lou Bloom and 2 others like this.
      2. zilean
        zilean
        Thank you lord for being faithful and showing your word to be trustworthy
        Apr 22, 2024
        Wizardrabbit and Ghost️ like this.
    9. zilean
      zilean
      Conquered the weekend! One more thing tomorrow, and get to rest. Praise god for his strength to carry me through!
      Apr 20, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and Ghost️ like this.
    10. zilean
      zilean
      Conquering some stresses at work. Just feels like I can’t get everything done. Need to bring my hope of heaven into todays reality.
      Apr 17, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit likes this.
    11. zilean
      zilean
      Rode the dopamine train too far. Needed to have pumped the breaks. Details in my journal.
      Apr 14, 2024
      1. Wizardrabbit, Lou Bloom and silex_jedi like this.
    12. zilean
      zilean
      Psalms 27:4 - be the one thing I desire today
      Apr 10, 2024
      2. Bingles
        Bingles
        My personal favourite is Psalms 73, a real eye-opener.
        Apr 10, 2024
        zilean likes this.
    13. zilean
      zilean
      Beat an urge this morning at my computer by pausing and thinking about what my stresses are. Then breathing out and releasing them to God.
      Apr 7, 2024
      1. silex_jedi and +TenPercent like this.
    14. zilean
      zilean
      Had a slip yesterday. That one and the one before were not followed by binges. I need to pursue time with God a bit more to settle my mind
      Apr 7, 2024
      1. +TenPercent likes this.
      2. +TenPercent
        +TenPercent
        Good job not binging. That's a big step in the right direction. First thing I want to do after a slip is . . . slip again. Also, you are resisting. You can't have a slip if you're not trying to get better.
        Apr 7, 2024
        zilean likes this.
    15. zilean
      zilean
      On another reboot... beginning to see the time and energy wasted on PMO in my life. Looking to do work on my identity in Christ!
      Mar 30, 2024
    16. zilean
      zilean
      Nothing like being on the front line of a life coming to Jesus to remind you about your purpose. Ty Lord for letting me be a part of it!
      Jun 24, 2023
    17. zilean
      zilean
      a good day with meaningful connections, recovery group dinner, and realized wisdom from the Lord for a challenging scenario
      Mar 6, 2023
    18. zilean
      zilean
      striving to win the battle
      Mar 5, 2023
      1. SilentWolfSong likes this.
    19. zilean
      zilean
      Finished a stressful weekend work event. Slowing down today to reflect on how I could've done better. Also finding myself again. Kept clean!
      Nov 15, 2022
      1. willpower2020 likes this.
    20. zilean
      zilean
      Working step by step, Day 6 out of 7.
      Nov 4, 2022
      1. from2003 likes this.
      2. from2003
        from2003
        Great
        Nov 4, 2022
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Aug 21, 1996 (Age: 27)
    Location:
    Texas
    Journal Thread Link:
    View my Journal
    It began in 5th or 6th grade, about age 11-12 and has followed me many many years till now at age 25.

    I grew up in a Christian home without father, who left before i was born. I found the Lord at a young age at 6 and committed my life to Christ, and loved to follow him.

    Once this shackle attached itself to me, I was truly serving two masters. I desired all my life to be freed from this hinderance. I faithfully continue walking with the Lord to this day, but the reality of what that means only began to start hitting.

    Self Control. I have thought that I had been exhibiting this fruit of the spirit, i was easily angered as a kid when an injustice was done to me in a game, but grew out of that stage. But it has been in these past couple of years that I realized that I lack self-control in denying my self the temporal pleasures of PMO and choosing life that can be had abundantly.

    For a while I was focused on modifying my behavior while neglecting the heart and reason for these things. My anxiety to engage with girls after being told not to have a girlfriend till I graduate college. My longing to be in an intitmate relationship with another while my friends all began to move that direction (as much a middle schooler could do). Wishing I could just be held by someone.

    And so, I begin my documented NoFap Journey on April 14, 2020 to have daily checkins and just have a place to write out what I have been feeling and the healing that can come.

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    Content:

    Signature

    Challenges Completed: |3|7|14|21|30|40|50|60|90|120|200|300|365|

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