suicidal ideation

I jerked off to dicks bigger than mine, like some cuck fantasy. I feel so fucking guilty. My girlfriend has no idea and she cannot know about this, god I don’t know what to do. Im not attracted to dicks, i like the feeling of being inferior. Its disgusting and makes me suicidal. We talked about...

I was sleeping or not... i'm not sure, but i recalled that suddenly i felt like something wanted to released something consciously then i switch to sleeping my side purposely then push it out, immediately clear liquid came out, felt the orgasm then i continue sleep like nothing happened... Guess...

I remembered about couple months ago... Also recently i already asked about flashbacks... It was later a slippery slope, won't consider relapse yet... But now this time... A flashbacks that making me felt like i was relapsed long gone... My fucking nofap process... I'm about to lose my fucking...

It was about a couple months ago, i was dealing with huge stress and almost the urge to PMO, i went on YouTube watching a girl masturbating without showing nudity parts , frame is cropped only showing their facial expressions and moaning since YouTube policies anyways... It was probably the...

So guys I told my doctor about my heavy, heavy mdma abuse when I was 18 , I’m now 30. She said heavy MDMA abuse CAN cause long term adverse effects . I don’t know what to think right now. Maybe I’ll have low libido and “pied” forever . Maybe it’s not pied maybe it’s irreversible brain damage...

I’m currently on day 2 again . I started taking ashwaghanda and it has helped with my anxiety and my moodiness . I still feel very very sad and hopeless . I know I talk about this a lot, but I feel like I may never ever be “normal” again . All I ever think about is that morning I woke up when I...

I'm such a fuck up, you know what I'm tired of hearing? I'm tired of hearing my school counsellor or my soccer coach telling me shit like 'It's in your head', 'Get out of your own head' and the most useless of all 'Combat/Challenge those negative thoughts'. Surely, one would think, if they were...

WARNING: LONG POST - TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUICIDE/IDEATION - This is just me ranting because I don’t know what to do anymore and I have nobody. I am all alone. I’m so broken. - So. It’s been over a year, maybe even two years, since I made a post on here. But, of course, here I am. Again...