100 Cold Approaches

Been doing a few cheeky sets to start the year mainly from a MH perspective. I should mention I live in Warsaw now and I might do another '100 sets' more to document life in this city than from a dating angle and use it for a bit of reflection on this quite dystopian (in many ways) city. It has become something of a daygame mecca and yet I find it both literally and figuratively cold and depressing. I just live here for work and because I don't want to be in the UK.

Been snipering my sets more in general. Not stopping crazy out of my league girls or doing sets that have a lot of spotlight effect but trying to find the right calm moments to do sets..

Did a coffee shop set on Friday night. These days in coffee shops I try to sit next to the person and either wait for them to leave or decide it's time for me to leave and then do an (indirect) opener. Getting the number wasn't too hard. She was an introvert bookish girl. Quite hot and young student Turkish but also seemed a bit retarded saying she was a romantic and liked spending lots of time alone and weirdly oversharing she used to write about her ex bf.

Then tonight I was out to watch a movie alone and I wanted to get one in so I opened someone who seemed about in my SMV on her way out of the mall. I started with a fashion statement I like your hat the colours look white a good match for this snow bla bla bla opener and then moved into normal chit chit. My new style of approaching is trying to be normal as possible and not flashy or creative stuff comparing girls to being half a giraffe half a Russian spy or whatever the hell the classic PUA's did simply because pouring creative energy into improv comedy sets on the streets is too much for me right now. She mentioned being Ukranian and having lived in Portugal and Germany while also being on her way to a bachata lesson.

I don't expect much from these sets. Typical city girls really. Doing their city girl stuff studying and taking lessons and living busy hectic lives. I'm a bit turned off by this 'modern' way of life if I'm honest. This was just 'geting out of my head' practice for myself

Sets: 2
Numbers: 2

I would also like to add that I jerked off 3 times today and my sexual masturbatory impulses have been stupid in recent days. I look back fondly to when I started this challenge and I want to hopefully use this journal here as a way of holding myself accountable on a nofap streak as well. Wish me luck!

 

Which day of nofap are you? You sound like a sigma

 

Did one other set today ...it didn't go well. In the mall.

Approaches 3
Numbers 2

The mall is full of shoppers they don't really want to be stopped and probably have been many times.

It was -18 outside today though so doing it in the freezing cold seemed kinda off...BUT it would have been better I think than the soulless vacuous people in the mall.

How many sets have I done in Warsaw? Probably hundreds. It's like in the UK where I ratcheted up around 800 sets with barely a date. It's just weird but some environments really don't work for us based on how we look or carry ourselves.

I think as a man it's like being a boxer and you need to find your weight class to fight in. If you go in the ring with someone twice your size you'll get destroyed. I just think these women here...they don't see the value in me and I don't get the time of day due to not looking exotic or ...and let's be honest...much of anything else. I know deep down I have a lot of value but presenting that within minutes on the street is very difficult.

And to be honest it's not necessarily advisable if the goal is sex.

Honestly if the goal is sex I'd probably suggest trying to get some friends and find a local bar that attracts a lot of young people.

It's kind of retarded prowling around the mall...

Luckily now I am doing this more for self-reflection and personal development purposes.

 

if you get to the point where you tell yourself that 800 approaches and almost no dates aren't your fault, and that you don't have to change anything about yourself, that's self-confidence.

Many men make cold approach forgetting that it will never be a suitable place to meet women. She doesn't know you and you've got to make her want to see you again in 2 minutes.
So yes, with some women things happen very quickly and very well. But that's rare and I think it's important to have a quality social circle and friends to remind you that you don't have to change anything about yourself. I know lots of guys who only do cold approach and have no friends. That's the best way to lose yourself and not know who you are anymore. It's a life balance you have to have.

Cold approaching for something as insignificant as sex leads nowhere. On the other hand, cultivating values like honesty and courage is infinitely better.

 

Ended up doing a milf approach at a bar after a comedy show.

Is much easier to talk in these situations and got the number quite easily.

Jumped into a date request quickly but she said she was busy.

Appproaches 4
Numbers 3

I really need to work out and improve how I look but that's another story.

 

Totally agree bro. It's a dangerous habit and can lead to behaving in a way where you are led by sexual gratification rather than higher goals and ideals.

But are you settled with a woman now? Cos being alone can be tough especially getting older.

I'm 34 now so I feel like for me to be strolling around trying to get laid like a dick deviant is just sad basically.

It was fun when I started in 2021 but even then I was a little bit old in a way.

I think if you look at basically every famous PUA they are ALL now either alone, dead or converted to some religion or self-help guru thing (but also alone). That's where this ends! For all of them...that's a cautionary tale and I don't think it's so simple to think 'well I'll be different..'

Maybe the act of approaching hundreds of women and banging multiple women hardens you or does something to your mind that limits your chances of successful pair bonding. We know it's true for women with multiple partners but it's underrated what it does to the male mind and also understudied.

I want to commend people for trying out this approaching but want to warn that it's not something that's even really been studied or scientifically analysed.

Maybe it's better to develop yourself, be your best self and try to meet women incidentally through whichever hobbies, activities or jobs you do. Sure talk to a woman now and then but don't make it a whole lifestyle or part of your identity...

Please don't...

Very likely it will end badly!

 

It remains something incredible and very few are capable of doing it. I did this for years without having friends and a job I didn’t like. I had 3 dates a week because I spent my life approaching women. It brought me nothing positive except wanting even more.

Now, if I continue to do it today, it's because I find it incredible for someone who is comfortable in their own skin, who has healed from their traumas and is capable of understanding others and connecting with people. It's a double-edged sword. Approaching women is incredible, but the outcome depends a lot on how you feel about yourself, and the real work is there.

Describing one's adventures endlessly is meaningless to me and doesn’t help people.
To answer your question, no, I haven't found someone yet even though I’m ready. I have regular relationships, but they are often fleeting adventures. Sure, the best thing would be to meet someone for the long term to consider building a life together. But unfortunately, it's not enough just to decide it. Connecting with someone is quite random ^^

 

I see yes.

Yes I believe the making ones dick satisfaction their compass in life will ultimately lead to just fleeting moments and highs but eventually despair.

Of course we all have passion and the sexual drive but we also have the ability to THINK that's what separates us from animals.

Going from girl after girl is of course exciting but happiness and true contentment does not come from fleeting moments. It's excitement not joy.

Now I don't want to label approaching women as 'wrong' necessarily but more the goal of satisfying the lust impulse rather than trying to build something lasting.

Indulgence in passion for its own sake eventually leads to loneliness and despair.

 

Well said!
Lust is devolution into an animalistic state. Love is evolution into the state of a human being.

 

65/1000 Been having a long break. I have had some interactions here and there but mostly during my daily commute. I was on a party on Saturday, the first in about 2 months. I didnt handle the alcohol as well as I use to and was kind of an ass. I got annoyed at a girl for trying to protect her friend from me and really offended her. Her friend still came back afterwards and introduced herself but I was a proper dick to both and didnt feel good about the way I behaved. I dont enjoy drinking and plan on focusing on my studies this year. I am pretty sick of the student club and after 60+ approaches there, I think it is safe to say that the venue is bad. I will hit the gym and go to group sessions. I need some yoga, and I want to do some boxing again. I will have group work at school, I am participating in a couple student groups like the hiking group. It fits my style better. I am a relatively good conversational ist so I play myself bad at a loud club where no one can hear me.

 

68/1000

I had a ticket to an event at the night club tonight but didnt go. I was tired after a long day at school and now I feel good about my desciscion. I can wind down for the day, read a good book and meditate. The club is pretty bad. Too loud, too crowded. I dont think we have any other venues in this small village. I might check out the cafes around here instead. I am meeting people at school anyways. Today I had 3 interactions just by showing up to school and sitting around doing my homework. I feel better when I can have organic conversations like this. They dont feel forced. I didnt hit on anyone but this is my level at the moment. Trying to find someone to chat to on a regular basis.

 

You seem like you have calmed down a lot (not in a good or bad way, but just saying) since you broke your arm…

how is your arm doing? Are you currently wearing a cast?

do you see the world differently now since you sustained the injury?

 

I was in a pretty good flow before I broke my arm but I guess that was a spiritual experience. It was a dark several months where I got a lot of time to reflect over my life choices. I was depressed and inactive. I went on a strict diet and lost 16kg since that was about the only thing I could do. I have meditated quite a lot which I recommend. I dont know if you are right or wrong in your assessment but things are generally pretty good now. The only thing I need to figure out now is proper ways to socialize. I am doing better just by staying outside and meeting people during my daily activities. I had 5 interactions at school today. Talked to a girl before class and opened another 3 girls after school with a genuine question about how to use the soda machine which turned out to be broken. Right now I am taking a short breather before yoga class in 30 minutes.

 

75/1000

Today was a good day. I was at school from 12 until 6 pm then I went to yoga from 7 pm to 8 pm. Its bedtime already and I didnt get to do everything I planned today but I was way more productive than usual. I am in a social student group and we made waffles from 12 until 2 pm. I had a good chat with 4 different girls there. Then I went to my usual spot at campus to solve some genetics problems. I said hi to a guy I recognized there. Then I went to some chemistry workshop at 4 pm. I was the first person there. The second person to show up was a cute girl so we chatted for 5 minutes before the teacher arrived. After class I chatted briefly with 3 girls while trying to figure out the soda machine. Then I went to the gym. I was early for yoga class so I decided to work out a little. I greeted multiple guys I recognized. In yoga class, I tried my best to follow the instructions. I was maybe the only dude there. The yoga teacher talked with me after class. I sat next to a table tennis table and talked to the guys playing there while ordering a cab home. All the girls from yoga class arrived and at least two gave signs of interest. One even negged me but I didnt really pay attention. I played a little table tennis with some of the guys and now I am heading to bed.

The bottom line is that I have wasted a lot of time on the club until now while girls are generally more approachable during day time.

 

79/1000

I did a few approaches at school today. I could have been anti social as is my default state. I am a bit ambivalent. On one hand I want to socialize but on the other hand I find it pretty pointless. I exclaimed to a girl next to me in class that they needed to upgrade the chairs here because they are causing me back problems. We had a short conversation about why we were sitting at the back row. She was there because she needed to charge her computer and I was there because the chair was slightly more comfortable. I talked to two groups of girls during lunch break. I asked them if they knew how to use the soda machine which was a genuine question because I couldnt figure it out. Nobody else could either. After class, I sat down to do some chemistry problems in a common study area. I asked two girls to take their place since I saw they were leaving. They opened fast and we chatted a little before they left (they asked me if I also was doing chemistry). I asked the two girls at the table right in front of me if they knew when the cafeteria across the road closed. They told me at least not until 4 pm. I went and bought a coffee and returned 10 minutes later. I asked them if they were going to the workshop at 4 pm to which they replied "maybe". I talked with them a little now and then. I sat there for about 2 hours. At 4 pm we went to the workshop but they left early. I met up with the girls I exchanged places with earlier in the workshop. At 7 pm I was the only one left in class and I was talking with the teacher which was a girl around my own age. It was only surface stuff but she was nice. She helped me solve a problem then I went home.

 

what are you going to school for? You are wanting to do something in the science field?

 

I am studying Biology I am wrapping up the first year with Chemistry and Genetics.