100 Cold Approaches

83/1000

Got up from bed at 7 am today. It is painful but neccessary for the next 5 weeks. I arrived at school around 12. I approached a couple people today, both singles and groups. I generally dont feel nervous when approaching and I cant recall being shut down in a while. Today I acted like the most careless person in the world. I sat at the back row as usual, picked the most comfortable chair and moved it over to my spot, chipped off my shoes and leaned back. Two girls I know relatively well sat in front of me but slightly out of range for a normal talk. Oh, lol I thougt I didnt talk to them but on writing this, I realize that I actually exchanged a few words. Anyways, somewhat of a missed opportunity. One of the girls always smiles at me and seems to be sitting closer and closer for each lecture.

I also just recalled an "approach" from before the lecture. It doesnt really count though since she approached me and not the other way around. I was sitting there minding my own business and solving stoichiometric equations when a girl came by and asked to sit in the spot next to me. It wasnt the only spot available but all the tables were occupied. I could have ignored her completely and just kept doing my homework but I initiated a short conversation. 3 minutes or so where I asked her what she was reading etc. Then we just sat there doing our assignments for 2 hours. When she left, I told her goodbye.

After the lecture, I sat down on an empty table next to a bunch of hot girls from class. I didnt know it at first but I could tell because they were chatting about the genetics lecture we just had. I dumped my bag on the couch, skipped off my shoes and started eating a chicken sandwich in front of them. I got a weird look or two but I truly believe just acting like I am chilling at home gives off the right vibes. And my shoes dont stink. I make sure to disinfect them and wear clean socks every day. I didnt open the group at first even though I really contemplated it. I just got the feeling that two of the girls in the group was more than sceptical about me. There was two girls left in the end and then I decided to ask them if they were studying chemistry. One of them asked "you mean basic chem? Yea, we study second year molecular chemistry. Are you stuck?". I told her "yea, this problem here" She took her time to properly look at it, sat down with me for a good 10 minutes even though she was leaving and even brought her friend over to help. Then she left. Her friend decided to stay for a little longer and moved her stuff over to my table. I chatted with her a little before I decided to call it a day.

Chatted with some guys today as well which I think is important too. I need allies in this quest.

On my way home from the gym, I passed a friend. I havent seen her in months. She was running. Told me she needed to reach the train but that we should meet soon, gave me a hug and kept running.

 

88/1000

I did mostly the same thing today as yesterday only a little bolder. One thing I notice is that a lot of girls are starting to orbit unusually close. I have worked out a ton and lost a lot of weight. Meditating a lot have made me calmer and happier. I dress nicer. My place is clean and tidy. I feel in control of my destiny. The attention I get is enourmous compared to when I was fat and depressed. I went to the chemistry workshop today as well and almost got done with this weeks problems. I asked the group of hot girls behind me which was the same group I seemed to scare off yesterday about a problem. Today they were open to chat a little. Not just about chemistry. After the workshop, we were heading to the lecture and I had some pretty engaging conversations with two girls on my way there.

Then I went to the gym. Lots of hotties there and they bump into me and what not. I am starting to recognize more and more faces on my daily commute. I played some table tennis with a group of guys. The gym can really become my social arena.

I was tired today and had a lot of neck pain so I wasnt 100% but I do see opportunities everywhere. If I just improve a little every day, I am soon at Godly levels.

 

90/1000

A couple approaches the last few days but I dont seem to have any particular goal in mind when approaching. Right now I am trying to focus on deep diving ( get to know a lot about her in a short amount of time). I did a group approach today, total fail. Another group, relatively successful. I gained two friends and have their contacts. Then one approach yesterday. I talked with a girl on the table next to me while doing chemistry. I am not doing super bad but I dont really go past small talk that often. I hate small talk but it is my bad for not leading the conversations where I want them. I do it sometimes like with the two girls I befriended today. One dude too. It was easy. I just started talking about his energy drink brand and went on to talking about motorcycles, his gaming friends etc.

 

You are on day 115 no PMO? How do you feel making approaches while on this streak?

 

I have just been lazy with resetting my counter. Today is day 4. I truly believe that nofap is key to success. Our sex drive is a force of nature. Our blood line is a result of our ancestors fucking around since the first organisms appeared some 3.8 billion years ago. Our DNA holds the entire evolution history. Its quite awe inspiring stuff. My longest streak was 105 days and it was one of the best years of my life. I am still trying. It seems like a good social life is the way to go for me. I need to replace PMO with real connections. My mind is perverted because of PMO. I dont usually really try to pick up women until I have been clean for 7+ days. I dont feel 100% when the brain fog is still holding me down.

 

92/1000

I dont remember today too well, I was reading for a chemistry test for 9 hours. I feel pretty confident about my test tomorrow. Two girls from class sat on the table next to me. I didnt manage to count all my interactions today as it was a mess and I dont know who spoke to who first in most cases. Think I talked with about 10 people today but the last approach or two were situations where I could easily have choosed not to talk but went out of my way to make something happen. I went to get a snack a few times during my 9 hour marathon reading session. The girls were sitting behind a wall but close to me. I talked with them for a solid few minutes every other hour. I wasnt particularly attracted to any of them but they talked about me. They swapped my name but it was quite obvious. They were talking about age differences. For some reason they assumed I am in my early twenties while one of the girls is 27 and feel old. Thing is, I am 31. The second approach was when I accidentally picked up one of the scientists outside a bio hazard zone sign. I was looking for a toilet and locked eyes with her. She quickly looked down and didnt seem to expect anyone lurking outside the lab at 9 pm. We talked a little before I realized she was a teacher and she realized I was a student. Then awkward silence I guess. She told me she was working late and had to get back to her experiments.

 

I am learning some Spanish as well I am planning on travelling and/or working in South America eventually. Been in Peru a few years back. I expect to be fluent this year.

 

93/1000

My objective is to keep some longer conversations moving forward. Today I had one of those. On my way back from exam I overheard two girls behind me discussing the test. I was wondering the same question myself so I asked them over my shoulder what their answers were. One of the girls was quite pretty. I half expected a very short conversation and was prepared to walk away. But the response I got was super enthusiastic and I invited myself along as I was walking towards my bus, in the same general direction. The pretty girl poured her heart out and covered a wide array of topics within the 5 minutes or so I talked with her. She was really expressive. I didnt catch her number or even name so I guess I still have a lot of work to do. Good thing about uni is that these girls are usually in my class. I will have another chance. I am slowly building new aquintances day by day. I didnt think much about my approach today. It was a low effort one. It was a good opening but I can do better when I am locked in.

 

95/1000

Had two good interactions since last time. Yesterday I was sitting next to two girls, reading again. I was hungry so I went and bought a sandwich at the cafeteria and returned to my spot. It took me probably 10 minutes to say anything. Maybe not ideal to wait that long but I didnt really think of anything to say. I noticed they were taking the same topic as me so I asked them about problem 26 or something. They told me they had just started and was at problem 1. I asked how they did on the test the other day etc. I didnt expect a huge response but both of them ended up talking a lot. I ended the conversation after 5 minutes or so. After maybe another hour, one of the girls asked me about a problem. She sat down next to me (Too close if you ask me) and I solved the problem for her. I wasnt exactly anxious but I was slightly uncomfortable and I guess I am sending mixed signals left and right. I blame PMO for that one.

Today I had a pretty good interaction by my own standards. I talked to the girl in front of me in class which I find quite hot. We exchanged names and talked a little. I teased her a little and she responded quite positively. It wont make much sense if I explain the situation in text but it was entirely improvised based on an assignment the teacher gave us. We talked for a few minutes about regular stuff after talking about this weeks topic. I think I noticed at least one other girl who was trying to get my attention by looking at me and sitting relatively close. I didnt quite catch it and missed that one.

 

How often do you go for the “number close”? Do you just ask for the number if you think it’s going really well?

do you ever try to do the “insta-date” like stoic contemplation does?

 

I havent done any of that yet. I am mostly approaching girls around campus while doing my daily commute. My number of approaches doesnt really represent what level I am at. I did a ton of horrible approaches in a loud night club and just recently started day game.

 

96/1000

Not exactly a cold approach and I probably shouldnt count these but this one was a quite good interaction nonetheless. I was going to listen to a presentation from another group and score the content. The girl was pretty and she asked me how I was. We small talked a little before the teacher realized she was on the wrong group and sent her away. As she left, I said something along the lines of "oh no, just as I feel like I started to get to know you" She smiled as she went where she was supposed to be.

At the bus, a girl walked past me and "accidentally" touched my leg. I dont think it was accidental, probably some sort of approach invitation. But the window of opportunity was really short, a few seconds max. I didnt feel any anxiety at all because I knew I wasnt going to act on it.

On my way to class something similar happened. I was running late for class and a girl walking in front of me abrubtly stopped and looked around, almost crashing into me. I didnt have the time to even think but I rushed past her. In hindsight I see that she probably stopped hoping that I would chat her up.

The problem with these types of approach invitations is that I have just a few seconds to act if I am going to. For now I am unable to pay enough attention to see it until maybe a minute after, when the girl cools off and gets offended that I ignored her.

 

99/1000

I might just be stupid. I went out tonight and talked to at least three groups of girls. Several girls basically threw themselves at me. We were playing drinking games and they all pointed at me when asked who was the hottest person in the room, who got laid the most etc. I played it like a champ. I sat in the middle of a group of four girls and at least three were flirting with me. They were all pretty hot. The hottest of them all started to show off her red boob strap and glanced in my direction. When I actively ignored her, she came over and sat next to me. We had a long ass talk and her friends were rooting for us. All she did was talk about sex. She showed me her boobs and told to my face that she was getting impatient. I did the bare minimum. I just didnt want to get laid. I was thinking of my messy apartment and my lack of bed skills. And I PMoed earlier today. Porn is 100% the reason I didnt want to bring her home. She even asked how far away I lived and I brought up hiring a cab. I am just plain stupid. Come on, it cant get any easier than this.

 

Man….. I am even sad reading this story

But yea this is what PMO can do.. just think, if you apartment was clean and you didn’t PMO that day.. you could have had a great memory

 

Its absolutely neccessary for me to get a good streak going. Its no way I am getting any success with women until I actually want to get laid. I might invite the next girl home for just a coffee even if she wants a lay. I dont even want the sex part. Having company is a good starting point.

 

why don’t you want the sex part? Not trying to be rude or anything with the question, but just genuinely curious

 

I blame PMO. I am ambivalent towards it. I sort of want it but I dont want to deal with the logistics around it. If I had a good streak, my thinking would likely be different. Right now I am basically asexual.

 

100/1000

I dont feel like I have done 100 approaches at all. I am not sure how many of them were at the horrible loud night club we have here but more or less all my approaches so far this year have been at school. I have counted a lot of mediocre interactions. I will be a little more picky with the next 100. Just a "hi" wont count anymore as that is too easy. It needs to be at least a few sentences including getting her name from now on, minimum.

I am prioritizing building a nofap streak now. Currently day 4. Had urges in class yesterday which is rare. I have also generally struggled getting past around 4-7 days for a good while. I am motivated now. I have lost a lot of weight in recent months and I get a lot more attention from girls. I am able to see when girls are interested but I often fail to capitalize on it. In class today I realized that at least one girl seemed very interested. I sat down far away from everyone else which I pretty soon regretted. She sat with 4 other girls. They whispered a bit and looked over their shoulders before they performed a takeaway of sorts and left class which seemed unusual since we got an hour left. One of the girls straightened her back and locked eyes with me for several seconds on her way out. I felt like an idiot because I realized they were deliberately trying to sit closer to me at the beginning of class but I positioned myself in a way that made it impossible.

Earlier in the day I ended up right next to the girl that hit on me this weekend. I have no idea how long I sat there until I saw her but when I finally saw her and said "hi" , she hated my guts and left. Her window of opportunity had definitively closed and she was pissed.

I could continue with a long list of missed opportunities today alone. It is starting to sting pretty bad.

 

I read an article about social circle game. I realize that social circle has been my challenge all year. The girls I talk with are likely to see me again around campus and they are often in my class. As a result of that, they are a lot more cautious. I wont have a lot of opportunities today but my goal is to perform a handshake with 5 girls. I have one class today, school is starting late. After that, I have a yoga and group meditation session.