300 days and still FLATLINE (PAWS)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Experiment1996, Oct 22, 2020.

  1. Experiment1996

    Experiment1996 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everybody. My mother tongue is German, so sorry for my English. I am 24 years old and have done PMO from the age of 13-23. I was extremely addicted and my sessions went on for hours at a time. I had several tabs open and developed several fetishes. Normal porn was no longer interesting for me.

    After several streaks I am now at day 300 (10 months) and I am still on the flatline or PAWS (Post acute withdrawal syndrome).

    My symptoms I still have:

    - Wet Dreams (Always after 7 or 8 days I get a Wet Dream or Nocturnal Emission. In dreams I am very sensitive. If a woman touches me in a dream, I get an ejaculation. After a Wet Dream my negative symptoms are more pronounced. I need 2-3 days until I am more or less normal again. )

    - Brain Fog (I still do not have a good focus and concentration. I cannot express myself. I cannot express what I think, how I feel, etc. I find it difficult to listen to people talking. When I talk, it is unnatural and without much feeling. I have to think about how I say something.

    - Anhedonia (I find it hard to motivate myself for something. Many things just don't give me much pleasure anymore. I can laugh when I watch a comedy show on TV or when a person says something funny, but it is not as it should be. I get up in the morning and I do not have much energy.

    - Anxiety (I'm afraid of doing something embarrassing in public or just having a conversation on the phone where everyone can hear me. I still suffer from overthinking. )

    - Low Libido (I find women really beautiful and I no longer see women as sex objects. I want to have a normal relationship with a woman. I would like to talk to a woman, cuddle with her, go to the cinema and spend the day with her but because of my negative symptoms I cannot imagine that at the moment. When I read something sexual in a book or accidentally see a sexual scene on Netflix, I get an erection, but I stop it immediately because I am afraid it might delay my flatline. If a woman touches me on my arm or anywhere else, I get an erection, but it is not yet as it should be :)

    - Stomach issues

    In general I am able to manage my everyday life. I go to work. I go to the cinema. I go to play football. I cook, I read, I can fall asleep at the same time. I simply have little energy and motivation to do these things. I always feel kind of tired. I look tired too. I don't feel any real joy in doing these things.

    But I don't like to be around people at all because of my brain fog and fear. I still don't have the urge to be social and approach people. I still don't have the SuperPowers, but I like people.


    Can you please motivate me? Can those of you who had or have a long flatline please get in touch?



    Thank you and greetings ;)
     
  2. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Experiment1996

    I came out of a 7 month flatline a few weeks ago, and can understand how you feel. I also would avoid meeting people because of brain fog. Can I ask, what is lifestyle like. Are you doing hard mode? Is O allowed? Some information on your current streak would be good.

    Also your English is good :)
     
  3. lyricalcolors

    lyricalcolors Fapstronaut

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    What you're describing could be one of many problems, including depression. Have you checked with your primary care provider and a psychiatrist?
     
    Tim2442 likes this.
  4. Experiment1996

    Experiment1996 Fapstronaut

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    Hey. Thanks for your answer. It must be an extremely good feeling to be from the flatline. You got all those SuperPowers now? That must be an extremely good feeling. How do you feel now? Yes I do Hard Mode. O is not allowed.

    My lifestyle from Monday to Friday. Get up at 6:30. Start work at 08:30. End work at 17:30. After work I do housework, read a bit, watch TV or am on Reddit. On my days off I go to watch live football in stadiums or play football myself. I visit cities and wash my car. I always try to be busy, but I still have these negative symptoms

    How long did you do PMO and at what age did you start? How old are you now?

    Thanks and regards ;)


    Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
     
  5. Experiment1996

    Experiment1996 Fapstronaut

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    It's all because of PMO.
     
  6. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

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    I can only say that I'm going through what you're going through. But I really encourage you to start dating. Having someone so close to you who supports you is a huge help. If your symptoms prove too difficult to deal with then it can wait of course.

    There have been guys who more or less completely recovered. Check out Don Quixote on this forum, it took him two years but he's completely cured now, aside from some minor deficits in mental acuity.
     
  7. slb_123

    slb_123 Fapstronaut

    1-2 years recovery period for a strongly addicted person is not unusual according to Gary Wilson and other experts. And after that he still gotta work on rewiring.
    @Experiment1996 has been working his dick for hours per day since 13 years old, developed fetishes etc ... According to the litterature Ive read he is in it for a year minimum, probably more.
     
  8. Archangel01

    Archangel01 Fapstronaut

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    The flatline is the state where you feel asexual and have absolutely no desire for women. Don't confuse that with overall PAWS.

    My situation is similar to yours. What you're describing with wet dreams is exactly the same with me.
    I would not focus too much on the Superpowers. I get more and more the feeling that's just exxagerating from some guys who need attention.
    In stronger cases like yours and mine, I think after about 2 years there will come some stability and the chance of relapsing will be quite low.
    But that everything is gone and the brain is in a state like it was before porn use, I think it will take 5 years or even longer.
    I think a relationship with a woman could be beneficial, but that's easier said than done with all those weird thoughts and feelings.
     
  9. crane77

    crane77 Fapstronaut

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    So i can give advice about the wet dreams, there are PC muscles exercises which help prevent them, and about energy and other stuff I can recommend change of food, I'm reading a book right now that says that there are methods to clean the inner organs. Cause through life a lot of bad stuff is gathering in the body.
     
  10. Discouraged

    Discouraged Fapstronaut

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    exertion of the will, against the will, annihilates the self.



    it is a snake swallowing it's own tail.



    look at it this way.

    i used to play that star wars II playstation game.

    if you played the AI, and you did NOTHING. you would lose but not that badly they tried to make it even BUT

    if you TRIED REALLY HARD the AI would actually play harder and the game was actually harder and you still lost.
     
  11. Discouraged

    Discouraged Fapstronaut

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    not to scare people but you exist here in the prescence of hyper kinetic, super demons who actually do have super powers and the thing they want more than anything in the galaxy is more and more power over human beings.

    they didn't enslave the entire human race to money by being passive to their own will.


    wet dreams are caused by Succubi, if you are of exceptional intelligence and not absolute pure stink evil you are considered a potential future threat to this planet's absolute domination by organized crime evil.

    someone like Trump never feels the urge to masturbate because he truly absolutely desires the same wretched horrible disgusting things the rulers do
     
  12. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I think my message yesterday may have jinxed my reboot, I may be going into another flatline after today (hopefully not as bad!).

    I started PMO from the age of around 16 and I am currently 32. My addiction spans over 15 or so years, with multiple sessions daily, so I would say my addiction was fairly strong, making it a long recovery.

    It sounds like you have a really good lifestyle going which is good. Being able to recover from wet dreams after 2-3 days sounds really positive. What would you say is the withdrawal symptom that has given you the most trouble?
     
  13. Experiment1996

    Experiment1996 Fapstronaut

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    Social anxiety
     
  14. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    In its basic form, social anxiety is the fear of being negatively judged by others. It is the fear of having to introduce yourself to a room of new faces, it is the fear of tripping over the top step as you walk out of your local shop. It is even the fear of being heard on the phone while having a conversation (as you mentioned).

    At its core, social anxiety is nervous energy that we ourselves create through worrying and other thinking. We forget that our thoughts are simply irrational thoughts that not only do not belong to us, but have been constructed through fear. We lock ourselves into an improbable fantasy that we believe to be totally tangible and real.

    With that said, if fear is the foundation of anxiety, the only way to defeat it would be head on. As humans we learn through doing, which means gradually pulling yourself out of your comfort zone and gradually challenging yourself may be what it takes. Overcoming anxiety doesn't always take a therapist, sometimes it just takes having the courage to leave the cave (your mind) and step out into the wild (reality/life). As someone who often has struggled with social anxiety, the very thought of leaving your comfort zone should create a tight pull of resistance in your chest. While I am not suggesting you go out and start approaching girls on the street, I am suggesting you find a way to switch things up a bit and socially 'randomize' your life. Start small, have a short conversation with a friend, or call a close family member for a quick chat. If the thought of doing it alone makes you uneasy, you are on the right track. Maybe start with a phone call every few days, and when you're comfortable move it up to one phone call a day. Alternatively, if you're feeling brave start by saying hi to people locally. The point is to doing nothing, will result in nothing. Slowly placing yourself in situations that force you to face your anxiety will force your mind and body to adapt. It is not an easy task, but a good way to lessen the pain effectively.

    Good luck.
     

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