Yes i agree. I am noticing the different voice tones and the different ways in which it can interfere, I notice how i can use it from Presence and Grace consciously or I can let it talk to me. Its like a ratio station picks up junk from the air (fears and worrie) but I consciously CHOOSE to think under the Grace and remain in the WORD of God life unfolds beautifuly.
Well, back to day one. It’s disturbing how easily we just give in to a destructive desire, isn’t it? I guess old habits die hard. I need to work more and not just tell myself I’ve done all I need to do today regarding this situation.Clearly I haven’t been doing enough. Wishing you a fulfilling day.
Agreed. This is a good attitude. Working on myself mentally, physically, and spiritually on a daily basis all seems to help when I'm able to overcome the urges.
I'm just checking in for the week. The fall teaching semester starts up here for me, which is when things get stressful. I'm glad I was able to keep the faith during the summer, but when things get busy and hard is going to be the real test. Here my journal for more...
@Cremuel Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. Checking in here... I have had more P sub and MOs. But it may have been almost 1 week since then. I haven't been tracking it closely so I don't remember ... I did listen to most of this podcast about dopamine from Huberman Lab ... https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podca...o-improve-health/id1545953110?i=1000569503118 I did start one simple technique to increase dopamine (and motivation) which he said is to look at bright light or go outside when you wake up. So I have been going outside or turning on all the lights inside in the mornings. He said this helps but also the more you do this repeatedly, it increases your dopamine level more. It did seem to provide some noticeable increase in motivation right away on the first days. I also notice I haven't had urges at all for maybe almost a week. I don't know if it's completely because of this but I have not felt urges and I do feel like I'm out of my recent state of struggle with P subs and MO. I have also been consistent in drinking green tea (3 cups from the same leaves spread throughout the day). And I started going to the gym for the past two weekends. I'm glad I'm feeling better and not in a state of urges at the moment. Recently there are two things that are troubling me. The first is that I've had many MOs now and I really think that avoiding O for me while I'm single is key for success in the long term. (Because O is a large source of dopamine or something like that). Second, is that recently, while I was thinking about my personal situation (and trying to figure out the puzzle of my life), I started to think that PMO maybe the only solution for me. There is some logic to it and I started to think a grim thought that PMO may be the only solution for me. Of course this is not what I have wanted or dreamed of all my life. And I can't accept it as the only solution. But even having this thought is troubling. It seems like an example of what I've heard how P and addiction in general affects your mind. And I suppose there is some truth that addiction can affect your mind and thinking. I think, because every time we fail, for some moment in time before that, our brain gives in and somehow thinks "this is what I would do or should do or will do" about PMO. Or maybe it doesn't always happen like that, I don't know. I know it has happened like that for me many times. But I can't give in to this thought/idea that PMO is a solution to anything. I know better. It won't solve anything and it won't help me. I have spent all these years struggling with it. I know better. This year hasn't been perfect for me and I have more progress I need to make. But I'm so much better off now than in past years when I was failing and stuck in full PMO binge cycles. I'm so glad that at least for a few days now I haven't had any urges for MO like I did recently. Sorry for the long post here and thanks for reading and contributing to this group and to NoFap in general.
@nonfap Thanks for this insight into why refraining from O may also sometimes be necessary. It helps me to better understand. I'm just checking in for the week. It's been a busy and emotionally taxing week, but I didn't act out through M or P. I'm also feeling quite amazed by how this is forcing me to really feel and experience life by taking away some of the main ways that I check out from all the hard stuff (more in my journal entry below). I hope you all are well and hanging in there.
Just checking in. I took a trip over the weekend and had some time to think. I am starting a new schedule this week with the plan of creating the life I want to live. As I have shared before, PMO cost me a lot of life and I have left a lot of things undone. I am now working to get things caught up. I will try this schedule for a week and see how it goes. Have a great week everyone!
Day 44 No Slip September I just got done reading my Nofap rules(Link in Signature). I decided to embark on a "No Slip September". I started to make a challenge in the "Events" section but I am going to keep this as a personal challenge. It will be 1 month of strictly following my Nofap rules. All of the rules I have put in place for myself are important for me if I am going to have sobriety. Maybe some of those will not work for others like "no tv" but for me, this is a place where I can not go. I will approach this as a fast as I am Christian. Sept 29 will mark 1 year on the forums for me. This challenge is very important to me and upon finishing, I plan to write a "1 Year" summary of my journey and of my time on this site. Maybe those reading will decide to start their own "No Slip September". It would probably be very beneficial.
Checking in. @Cremuel I have a lot of ideas about this based on what I've learned studying dopamine (etc.) online and they are being reinforced by my own experiences. I hope these ideas can be of help to you and anyone else in this battle with PMO addiction. I now look at PMO addiction as based on a pattern of behaviors that leads to dopamine (it is probably not this simple but it seems to be mostly true in my experience). P gives dopamine, M gives dopamine and O gives the most dopamine of these three. But there are many other sources of dopamine. I'm finding that seeing a lot of bright daylight daily can increase dopamine levels. This is according to the podcast I shared in my last post and it seems to be true so far in my own experience. Dopamine levels are related to overall motivation and many good benefits. We will normally gravitate toward where we get the most dopamine so it's a reinforcing cycle. In the case of PMO it leads to PMO addiction. I look at rebooting as changing your pattern of behaviors leading to dopamine so that PMO is no longer your main pattern of behavior. I believe I've currently rebooted from the addiction cycle of PMO binging/edging that I was in last year. I have been in and out of this behavior over the years. But now I feel I understand better how to stay out of this cycle. It will require a continual focus and reinforcement of non sexual dopamine sources. With O being such a large source of sexual dopamine and I'm not married, I believe it's 100% better for me not to have O as much as possible. Unfortunately I've had the most MO in August of all year I think. And I had one MO since my last check in. I really want to avoid this as much as possible because it will only reinforce and pull me toward the PMO binging / edging pattern of behavior leading to dopamine and I can easily get stuck back in that for period of time (years even). I'm so glad I haven't been there since last year but I have been failing and getting too close lately with P subs and MO. Right now I feel like for almost the first half of this year I was gravitating away from PMO binging/edging. But the last few months I have been gravitating back toward PMO binging/edging. I really need to catch myself and go away from it again. I have been doing good this week and I think I have found a good, easy, healthy dopamine source which is bright light, sunlight, looking at bright things. I've even changing my computer applications to a "light" theme and not a "dark" theme. I feel so far this along with other healthy dopamine sources is helping me. Since I'm single I believe I need to avoid O completely. But if I were married, I think right now I would also want to avoid O but if it happens it should only be with my wife. Having O with my wife and no PM is the only pattern of behavior I think I would want to reinforce with the flood of dopamine (and probably other neurotransmitters) that O provides.
Hey All, I'm just checking in. I love the plan @jw2021. Personally, I've also found that when my higher order priorities, like what I want from life in general, are in order, it's much easier to stay the line when trying to kick addictive habits. Thanks for the update. I've got 90 days (what I'm calling three months today), and I'm psyched about it, but also trying to keep it from going to my head. I know that keeping my head down and just putting one foot in front of the other is how I'm going to rise above my addictions. @nonfap Yes to that on dopamine. I shared in my journal that I've been feeling extraordinarily calm lately, and I really do think it's because I've ruled out the most fundamental source of dopamine addiction for myself which is M and P and too frequent O. Thanks for being here, and I'll see you all next week! Also: Welcome new members! Glad to see so many joiners this week! Journal below...
Hi @clark k ! You must set the goal of your counter in this way (a req of the rules): Please change it and let us know through a new post. See you!
I am new to this site. I have set the goal but I'm not sure how to activate the counter. Can you help. Thanks
I came up with a question that I asked myself today. I thought I’d run it past you guys, so here goes: Does the level of dissatisfaction with yourself, with your life, match the level of craving you have for pmo?
I feel a connection there. When I was upset with myself or life I would jump in as a means of escape. Afterwords, the problem would still be there. I am doing better at working on problems as they come instead of using P as a escape.
