Day 33. I'm having flashbacks and it feels like I missed porn. But I know that's just another brain trick.
Day 33 Had an urge to masturbate over one of the hottest porn scenes ever but thankfully stopped myself. Actually had an insight into what was it about that scene that triggered me so much, rather than as usual, giving into the urge and feeling weak, depressed and confused after.
To be honest that is something I am having difficulty with. For me Porn is ok as long as You don't give in to urge of faping over it. A bit like it's ok for an alcoholic to go to the pub as long as he or she doesn't consume any alcohol. Or does watching porn damage you regardless?
I think porn will damage me a lot more eventually because I always give in to the urge. There is no half measure in my case, only full measure.
Day 44 I need to get aware of the urges and triggers once they arise and act rationally and not fall into the traps of my primal emotions and its rationalizations. I haven't watched any P ,but I'm noticing that a part of me wants to go on Youtube, Twitter etc. as a way of fishing for stimulating content which sooner or later will lead me to a reset/relaps, and so I have to be aware of these emotions, whenever they arise and realise that these are just temporary emotions and that they will pass.
IMO P is more damaging than M. Getting of to P is just the nail in the coffin, since P and clicking through the vids releases the most dopamine. Might be different for you, though.
Thanks very much for your reply. That was what I was wondering. For me it has to be baby steps give up both in one go was too hard. I don't watch porn everyday or even most days like I used to, but allowed self to watch the odd clip thinking that it will be a positive learning experience if don't fap and let the urges take me where it wants to go without indulging. However I still think I have an addicts mentality and was wondering that if I really wanted to fully recover I might have to give up porn and all acts of sexual stimulation
Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry I should have used the word one instead of you. I know where you are coming from with all or nothing mentality. That's exactly what I'm like but trying to become more moderate. I suppose we all have our own unique journey to travel
Day 34. Urges came back but it's manageable. Your welcome. I actually tried to be moderate once but it didn't worked out. It will all eventually leading to me being addicted again.