7 Day "Friendship"

SolitaryScribe

SolitaryScribe

Fapstronaut
So I've been seeing this girl, going on 3 weeks now. I'm not really sure what to call us. we aren't really dating but when ever we're together we do couple things like hold hands and make out and stuff.

The biggest problem here is that she was my best-friends ex. They only broke it off like 3 months ago, and at times she confessed to me that she's still in love with him. I honestly don't know how to feel about all this. A part of me wants to cut all ties with her so I can reconnect with my friend, and the other part of me is just too weak to let go. I'm having way too much fun with this girl but the issue here is that she's emotionally unstable. She goes hot and cold within a span of a week. She'll tell me that she's not ready for a relationship than the next day we'll be making out... At this point I'm not even sure of what to do...

I Think what's been working is kind of just going with the flow. I'm not going to pressure her to be official with me. I think the biggest things that scares her at the moment are titles, and her having to decide what she wants to do with her life.

Ultimately... I know the right thing to do right now is to cut it off... So with that being said, After these next 7 days I'm going to end it with her. These next 7 days I'm going to continue talking to her, and see her as much as I can. I'll enjoy the time we'll spend together... I have to say, it feels amazing to connect with someone else, albeit for a moment.
 
Mchl101 said:
I Think what's been working is kind of just going with the flow. I'm not going to pressure her to be official with me. I think the biggest things that scares her at the moment are titles, and her having to decide what she wants to do with her life.
Click to expand...

You have to let women come and go as they please. It's good that you aren't trying to force a relationship with her.

Mchl101 said:
They only broke it off like 3 months ago, and at times she confessed to me that she's still in love with him
Click to expand...

If that's the case then I recommend you do what you concluded with but starting immediately. Why ruin your friendship over a girl still in love with your pal? Obviously you care about her a lot, if your friend is ok with you two dating then you could say something to her like, "Hey listen, I know you still have feelings for [friend's name] and that's ok. If you want to have fun with me then feel free to get in touch with me. Otherwise it is best if we go our separate ways for now." Then just walk away, even if she is begging you to be her friend don't give in. It is clear you want to be her lover, not another "friend". So stand up for what you truly want in your relationship with her and if she doesn't like it say sorry but if you change your mind feel free to get in contact with me so we can resume where we left off. You just have to determine if your friend is truly over this girl too.

-TheBigBadWolf
 
Update:

So yesterday was a bit of a weird day... ever since I've come back from the camping trip where we didn't talk the whole weekend, she's been very needy. Not in a bad way, but she's been very intimate and at times I'm thinking she wants a full out relationship. Currently we both decided that we're just talking to get to know each other better. But on Monday she came to visit me and we hung out in a parking lot and just really enjoyed each others company, I mean we did kiss a little but it was just nice to sit next to her and not expect anything. I think ever since that night she's been more open to the idea of dating again... But like I said before this girl is like a rollercoaster of emotions.

So today we decided to tell my family about her... that way we don't have to be so secretive. Still kind of nervous about this whole thing... am I even ready for a relationship??? I'm trying my best not to over think things and just enjoy my time. Even if it all blows up in my face, it was fun while it lasted.
 
Honestly man, i think it's important you talk to your mate. It's just the right thing to do and trust me it avoids so many complications in the future. Doesn't matter how he reacts to it...If you're a man, you'll tell him whats going on.
 
simba97 said:
Honestly man, i think it's important you talk to your mate. It's just the right thing to do and trust me it avoids so many complications in the future. Doesn't matter how he reacts to it...If you're a man, you'll tell him whats going on.
Click to expand...

simba97 I honestly 100% agree with you. I do plan on talking to him, I'm just not sure when the best time to do that is... one of the main things that complicate all this is the fact that I know he won't be ok with me seeing his ex. So right now I'm kind of choosing between my friend or my weakness for affection...

It's one hell of a sticky situation that's for sure... in the end someone's going to get hurt.
 
@Mchl101
Yeah man, i kind of understand what you're feeling now. It's funny because today at work i saw this girl i haven't spoken to in like 3 years... My mate and her used to have a thing, and so thats how i got to know her.
But she was looking really pretty and i felt a really good vibe between us. So i decided to message her just before, just to see whats up.
Main thing is, if by chance we end up meeting up, perhaps for a date, I'd most likely tell my friend. But yeah at the same time, i don't even know if it's worth it because my friendship with my mate is way more important to me.
Hard situation honestly man, i personally am probably going to end up realising that "there's plenty more fish in the sea" and instead stay in good terms with one of my best mates...Because it's hard to see him doing something like that to me.
 
3 Days Left...

Yesterday I went to this talk that was done at the church she attends. With that being said we hung out after the talk was done, us and a group of friends and my brothers all decided to go to mcdonald's. It seemed like the most convenient option at the time. I also told my brothers about her... so basically most of the family knows I'm seeing this girl. They also know the sticky situation we're in, and how she's emotionally un-stable. One of my brothers doesn't like the idea of girls that drive friends apart. So he's adamantly against the idea of dating this girl... I told them not to show any hate or enmity towards her. She's still a very nice girl and she doesn't mean any harm... she just doesn't know how to deal with certain situations properly.

Over the next 3 days we're going to attend this convention for graduates, that's part of her church. It's going to be at this very nice hotel so I'm kind of excited for it! They've got a swimming pool and everything! and it was also hella expensive to book a room. I somehow convinced my 2 brothers and his wife to come to the convention. So it's going to be an extremely interesting 3 days... She's obviously going to be there so I have 3 days to spend with her... everyday that passes she behaves more and more like a girlfriend with me. I think at this point she wants to commit fully to a relationship.

It's funny because when I told her that I was going to let my family know about her, she was really hoping that they would approve of her... though I think I kinda shat on that when I told her that she dated my best friend.

I'm going to try to keep this post updated for the next 3 days... I don't know what's gonna happened after these 3 days end... but most likely I'll end things. I just don't see how we can work out to be honest... I don't know what you guys think I should do... should I break it off or should I just keep things the way they are without rushing into anything and just enjoy the moment for now.
Truth be told I do really like her, and I wish the situation was different... But sometimes I guess that isn't enough.

Anyway I think I've said all I need to... any input is welcome! :)


Sincerely,
 
Last edited:
1 day left....
The past 2 days have been somewhat amazing... we spent the whole day together holding hands and kissing... we felt like a really couple... yesterday night we stayed up until 5 in the morning just talking and holding each other... but I guess all highs have a low... as of writing this i was talking to her and I opened up about my commitment issues... and how I generally don't see marriage in my near future. She didn't take the news too kindly and expressed to me how she feels. Truth be told this girl does want to get married. She's been in love with the idea since she was a kid. The reason her previous relationship ended was because her ex also had similar commitment issues such as myself. She does have a point though, it's not fair for her to wait while I sort out my issues... It's extremely sad and painful but I don't want to hurt this girl. Here I was planning on ending things but it seems like she's the one who did it for me...

I can't lie to her and tell her that I want marriage... the thought of it scares the hell out of me. I guess I can't provide her with what she wants at the moment...

Guess the time I spent with her will be a memory to cherish.... This is just going to be too painful.

But alas, it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
 
You have to be honest with her man. You never should have took it this far, but i guess it was fun while it lasted right?
Love ain't easy to come by, but if she still isn't over your best-friend, then don't bother continuing this...You'll only have your heart broken, and trust me it'll be much worse then breaking it off now.
 
Mchl101 said:
It's one hell of a sticky situation that's for sure... in the end someone's going to get hurt.
Click to expand...
I completely agree with @simba97 - you need to stop this as soon as possible. Frankly speaking - you are being a total dick towards your best friend as well as his ex. Sometimes a man has to set his own feelings aside and do what's right. I'm afraid this is one of those times...
 
You guys are right. The fact that I did this to my friend is killing me inside. I've thought about this whole situation and I know for a fact that there is no future for me and this girl.

At the moment I'm thinking of the best way of ending it without hurting her too much, and at the same time I need to think of a way to reconnect with my friend. I'm not really sure how to start the conversation with him. I kind of wanted to give it some time for him to cool off a bit, but maybe that's not such a good idea...

This whole situation has been really messed up and honestly I think I've reached my social quota for like the next 10 years. I miss the solitude of my room.
 
Mchl101 said:
So I've been seeing this girl, going on 3 weeks now. I'm not really sure what to call us. we aren't really dating but when ever we're together we do couple things like hold hands and make out and stuff.

The biggest problem here is that she was my best-friends ex. They only broke it off like 3 months ago, and at times she confessed to me that she's still in love with him. I honestly don't know how to feel about all this. A part of me wants to cut all ties with her so I can reconnect with my friend, and the other part of me is just too weak to let go. I'm having way too much fun with this girl but the issue here is that she's emotionally unstable. She goes hot and cold within a span of a week. She'll tell me that she's not ready for a relationship than the next day we'll be making out... At this point I'm not even sure of what to do...

I Think what's been working is kind of just going with the flow. I'm not going to pressure her to be official with me. I think the biggest things that scares her at the moment are titles, and her having to decide what she wants to do with her life.

Ultimately... I know the right thing to do right now is to cut it off... So with that being said, After these next 7 days I'm going to end it with her. These next 7 days I'm going to continue talking to her, and see her as much as I can. I'll enjoy the time we'll spend together... I have to say, it feels amazing to connect with someone else, albeit for a moment.
Click to expand...
You fool! She's using you to make her ex (your bff!) jealous. Textbook girl tactics. You must be a noob.
 
ahahahah... maybe... It doesn't really matter now, we officially ended things yesterday. I messaged my friend and told him everything that happened. He hasn't gotten back to me. I'm pretty sure he's still pissed so it may take some time for him to get over the situation.

As for the girl, I think she needs to spend some time away from boys to figure shit out. As for me I'm going to try to fix this huge mess I made, and salvage whatever I could of the friendship.
 
You did well man...You were only going to trap yourself in a cage if it persisted any further.

"The truth shall let you free"

It'll get better, just continue on and stay positive!
 
simba97 said:
You did well man...You were only going to trap yourself in a cage if it persisted any further.

"The truth shall let you free"

It'll get better, just continue on and stay positive!
Click to expand...

Thanks Simba97 that means a lot! If I ever get the urges to message her, I'm going to come here instead to get some support from you guys. I need people that look at this objectively to smack me back in the right place. I guess I'm fighting 2 urges now :P
 
Mchl101 said:
ahahahah... maybe... It doesn't really matter now, we officially ended things yesterday. I messaged my friend and told him everything that happened. He hasn't gotten back to me. I'm pretty sure he's still pissed so it may take some time for him to get over the situation.

As for the girl, I think she needs to spend some time away from boys to figure shit out. As for me I'm going to try to fix this huge mess I made, and salvage whatever I could of the friendship.
Click to expand...
Your friend lost your loyalty, he'd be wise to treat you as such.
As for the girls....just learn from this experience man, I'm sure you'll see this again. I remember once my friend's ex tried to DO me for revenge on him. And I've also had my ex-girlfriends make moves on my brother and close friends to get back at me. It happens alot.

You'll be more aware as you gain some experience with women. Until then ...NOFAP✌
 
SolitaryScribe said:
So I've been seeing this girl, going on 3 weeks now. I'm not really sure what to call us. we aren't really dating but when ever we're together we do couple things like hold hands and make out and stuff.

The biggest problem here is that she was my best-friends ex. They only broke it off like 3 months ago, and at times she confessed to me that she's still in love with him. I honestly don't know how to feel about all this. A part of me wants to cut all ties with her so I can reconnect with my friend, and the other part of me is just too weak to let go. I'm having way too much fun with this girl but the issue here is that she's emotionally unstable. She goes hot and cold within a span of a week. She'll tell me that she's not ready for a relationship than the next day we'll be making out... At this point I'm not even sure of what to do...

I Think what's been working is kind of just going with the flow. I'm not going to pressure her to be official with me. I think the biggest things that scares her at the moment are titles, and her having to decide what she wants to do with her life.

Ultimately... I know the right thing to do right now is to cut it off... So with that being said, After these next 7 days I'm going to end it with her. These next 7 days I'm going to continue talking to her, and see her as much as I can. I'll enjoy the time we'll spend together... I have to say, it feels amazing to connect with someone else, albeit for a moment.
Click to expand...

if you're going to end it. You have to end it right there and then. Don't delay the inevitable, I was with my ex for way too long because I thought that was the best I could do and she lived close by lol. Meet other people see how it goes
 
I once had a friend. Or, rather, someone I thought was a close friend hook up with a guy I was seeing. Blocked the guy and never looked back. Tossed my "friend" as well, and never looked back. She tried coming back BUT AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT, YO! (;
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top