Day 81. Soo, its getting really interesting, today I almost relapsed, maybe few minutes ago.. honestly I probably relapsed yet as I wrote here after this happend week ago, I have done it two more times.. my brain has found the way how to get the fucking dopamine and how to break my wall of defence. It started with “it was just that little thing.. almost nothing, Im not going to do this again...or...do it...again!” And now, I watched porn and touched myself and almost really relapsed. I started to read this topis and the bad thoughts are again in the corner..but.. what I want to say is, never ever think about yourself like me, like, yeah, Im alright, it is really not so hard now, I was naive and my brain started to do again risky things and I was weak to stand it because I thought I dont have to care so much, Im already over that.. now I see the true.. I know, I technically havent relapsed, but in my mind probably yes. I dont want to give up at this point, even if I can save “only” challange not to M with P..