First of all english is not my first lenguage so sorry if I don't write so well haha So, here is a little bit of my story: I never had an ED so I think I don't have really big troubles whit PMO. But I started whit PMO since I was 11 years old, and after that my life has been a cicle of relapses, the longest time I spend without PMO was like 6 weeks I guess, and it was wonderfull, it was a really sipiritual season and I've never felt the same again so I'm in to this challenge and ending with PMO forever.
Day 0 Relapsed (Got brain fog so don`t mind my English) Unfortunately the chaser effect is still harder than me. Even watching porn didn`t enjoyed me very well. I searched long for a "good" video, even that video wasn`t soo enjoyable as well. I need to get an other view of NoFap. I need to be more confident. For example I need the balls to say to a "friend" that I don`t want to play video games (he was asking me a lot to play) with him or anything and telll him that it´s FUCKING ANNOYING AND FRUSTRATING. I`m still thinking of why I relapsed. Was the chaser effect really so hard? Maybe I should do more sports to release more energy that I`m too tired of watching porn/masturbate? Maybe I should eat healthier? Or meditate? But how? I guess I will for the first time write here a journal, like a diary or "list of things I should change/do" Onwards brothers, together we will defeat the worsed enemy in history: Porn!
1 day. I need to stop getting so defensive whenever a temptation comes. I panic whenever one comes. I have been experimenting with just letting it slide. It works good. I was having lots of images flash into my head. I did not panic and just said to myself, "look how beautiful she is." They are beautiful. I have come to hate the female body, I love it but hate it. Saying it is beautiful when I imagine one seams to disarm the temptations. Sexual feelings are something I wanted to be purged of because I wrongfully learned they are bad. They are not bad. It is my use of them that is.
Day 54/90 Successful. Still the sudden sexual thoughts keeps striking me if I see anything on road or any situations. So my brain needs very much long time to reboot ..I feel like 90days won't be enough. Cheers guys.
