Finally have 1 day back on the clock. Not been binging, just not been making it through the day. My attitude has been slowly improving, as well as how I feel. Hope this is the start of something. Had a really good chat with a friend yesterday. Talked about all sorts of things, but the one that stuck with me is when she was talking, and reminding me, that life is all about choices. We choose how we act, how we react, what we do and even how we want to feel. In 'The Art of Happiness', with the Dalai Lama, it talks about how we can choose to be happy, and that it is a skill that you can train and practice. Some words to get you thinking there
12 days without an accident. I've often compared this bad habit to other addictions such as alcohol and illicit drugs. Quiting those can result in withdrawal. Does something similar happen with quitting PMO? I've been feeling like crap since the beginning of this week. Monday morning began with me being so irritable that I hated the sound of everyone's voice. That transitioned to waves of depressing thoughts every evening. I'm feeling better now but I have no clue what brought on such negative moods. I know moodiness does not compare to withdrawals. However, I don't normally have an intense mood without a reason.
I am both tempted and afraid to ask 'how brutal?' Uh, no need to respond tho. No inquiry here. Just, whatever you've been through, I'm glad you came out the other side of it intact.
There were nights I was in my room pacing around talking to myself. I couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. Massive anxiety attacks. I had a full week go by and I had only gotten 7 hours of sleep total... That was last year. My first run in with the withdrawals. Some people don’t get them so bad though.
Day 4/90 Checking in. Last night I started searching sexual related news and questions which made me more and more hornier which will lead to relapse later. This happened many times. I finally cut it down without going near PM. Happy that I cut it before it is latee. CHeers guys.
Good on you dude. Find an interest or hobby of your choosing to focus on so that a later relapse can be averted. You can do it.
Good work on doing what you want with your life. PMO, good or bad, you set a goal for yourself and you reach that goal. I hope you continue to do this and maybe you can bring something good, not only into your life, but into this world as well. See you next time!
