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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
I corrected my sleep pattern. Now it goes forward.
Day 14 Check in!
Gdmt relapsed again! Not major relapse, but still.
I can't keep my head straight, can't keep the reasons for nofap clear in my mind.
Day 23 done
Started going to work earlier, cause I was often masturbating in the morning. Definitely makes it a lot easier to stay clear of porn for me.
trying to get better and focused.
My first reboot! Lets do this!
alas I relapsed yesterday. It was a very short session and I felt some grief for resetting. 1/90
Day 21 without PMO is ahead!
Sorry to hear that man! That's happened to me SO many times. I'd reach a certain point (usually not far into my streak) and then I forget all the reasons I wanted to escape nofap in the first place. Once the urges reach a certain intensity fapping just looks so appealing it's hard to imagine that you actually DON'T want it.
Definitely trying journaling and write a list of ALLLLL the reasons you hate porn and ALLLLL the benefits you'll receive if you quit. Find a way to keep this list in front of you daily (like, set a habit every day of reviewing it, maybe first thing in the morning or whenever you're most tempted).
But even MORE powerful than that is when the vision for the man you could be becomes real in your heart. For a long time I felt the severe negative effects of porn in my life and I so wanted to get rid of it. But, I didn't really have anything to replace it with. So, once the sting of the negative effects wore off (say, after a 7-day nofap streak) I would just feel empty. Once I hit that point, porn was the only thing that appeared to fill that emptiness, so it became impossible to resist. The point? This all becomes WAY easier when you have an actual vision for your life to PURSUE and it's settled in your mind and heart that porn is a roadblock to your vision.
If you haven't yet, check out Universal Man on Youtube (Bromer has been posting his videos). He has a TON of really good material (Man of Action Series, Sexual Self-Mastry Series, and more) that really helped me see in a very concrete way what kind of many I could be if I walk this road.
Keep believing in yourself. Keep believing in your value and POWER as a human being. Keep BUILDING your life. Keep adding in the GOOD things that will bring you long-term satisfaction and success. Momentum you create in this direction will create clarity for you in those moments when porn tries to call you back. You'll begin to see more and more clearly how empty and valuless porn is compared to the REAL value you are creating in your REAL life.
Good job coming back here, posting your status, and starting over. If you get back on your feet and start again every time you fall you will win this fight. All the best to you!
I made it 30 days!!! That's 1/3 of the way to 90!!! No PM or Alcohol in that entire time.
I am filled with pride over myself. I have taken charge of several other areas of my life during this month and already accomplished so much (things that used to be so difficult for me). There's nothing I can't handle if I stay calm, take responsibility, and apply myself. We are all so much more powerful than we realize!
I'm finding that releasing all expectations and embracing my reality is SO key for this journey. When I was younger I had SO many ideas of what I thought my life would look like. The problem? Many (if not most) of these ideas were not based in reality but in the movies, TV, cartoons, and video games I was raised by. Those things can be fine by themselves, but if you aren't careful (and young children are not nearly self-aware enough to be this careful) they can give you wildly unrealistic expectations for what your life experience should look/feel like. How should I look? How should my girlfriend look. How easy relationships should be. How irresponsible I can be and still get away with it. The feelings I should have moving through my everyday life. All these things get blown way out of proportion in the entertainment world.
When things in real life started to stray from those ideas I didn't know how to handle it. I got depressed and turned to things like porn to make me feel better.
The lesson? In order to create a truly powerful and inspiring vision and plan for yourself you MUST begin by accepting the reality of where you are right now. You MUST be able to accept the things you cannot change (your genetics, body type, your PAST, your mistakes, where you were born, the parents you had or didn't have, etc.) and be able to still truly love and embrace your life. You must also accept responsibility for all the things you CAN change and all the choices you made that got you where you are now and all the choices you CAN make to change your future. Only then can you begin to see your true potential and create a vision for your life that's worth fighting for.
Embrace your reality. Take up your sword, become a man, and FIGHT THE FIGHT of your life. Don't escape it. Live it. Accept the pain. Face the challenge. Love the struggle.
This brings back some shitty memories, haha. But also the memory of how I suddenly had so much more time and more control of time when I finally managed to reign in my compulsions a bit
Yes, yes and yes. I think the drive towards porn has so much to do with our inability to accept and embrace reality. We live in a fantasy, a delusion.
Thanks! I'm right behind you when you get past the 30 days again in a week
Yes, this is familiar to all of us. I agree with what @Timothy_James said: you need to invest more in an idea where you want to be when you get rid of your addiction and how it will look there. Plus, I think you should think about a way to make the choice to look at P or things related to that into a more conscious choice. Right now, you look at that stuff out of habit, and your conscious brain wants to stop doing that, but you do it anyway because that's just what you're used to doing. I have found that taking a break everytime before I act on an urge - to write it down, or to look out the window for a second, or other techniques you can think of - creates time for your consciousness to kick in and to think about if you really want to do it or not.
I very much agree with @Timothy_James response; you need something to fill the hole that is created by cutting out PMO.
Do you have a vision of what you want to do and who you want to be? What do you need to do to get there? (in addition to cutting out PMO)
Also, more practical in the short term is to make a list of simple, healthy alternatives to PMO when you get urges. Things like meditation, light exercise, reading.. or a creative hobby like making music, writing, drawing etc.
On day 29/90
Four weeks past already!