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90 Reboot done - support for partner

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by *josephine*, Jun 19, 2021.

  1. *josephine*

    *josephine* New Fapstronaut

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    Hey all,
    my partner and I just finished the 90 days of the reboot... he still doesn't feel healed yet though. I suffered extremely from the circumstances. I felt undesired, unwanted, unsexy, unseen... my self-confidence went in the cellar and I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I can not longer be with somebody who I don't only have no sex with but also has very low libido, I just really lost patience and hope. By now, I have severe sleeping problems and would be grateful for ANY ADVICE from people who went through the reboot as well as their partner's experience and anything which helped.
    I feel trapped. My mental health is as impaired that I don't think I can go through the reboot any longer, on the other hand, even if we would have sex again, my partner does only rarely feel like it. To give up now and break up, after months of trying, hoping, and suffering feels ridiculous as well though...
    ANY IDEAS, COMMENTS, ADVICE???
     
    Washi likes this.
  2. Washi

    Washi Fapstronaut

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  3. ElSabio

    ElSabio Fapstronaut

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    You've made it this far don't give up yet! Bless you for sticking with him and being supportive. It was not a linear process for me. I didn't feel fully healed at 90 days either but it was better and the improvements after that first 90 went in jumps. I'm at six months now and feel like I am 98%. I have a healthy and great sex life with my girlfriend again and it happened post 90 days but I'm not sure exactly when. If you can still handle it please don't give up. You've already gone through so much don't let it be for nothing!
     
  4. Don’t give up on your man yet. 90 days is just the beginning it’s gonna take some time. Most men have to go through this journey alone and most don’t make it to the 90 day mark. So I personally have a tremendous amount of respect for women like you who are willing to help in that journey because I do know it can take a toll on you emotionally and mentally as you have mentioned. I can almost guarantee you he doesn’t find you undesirable. I’m sure on some level you know that he is probably incredibly embarrassed of the fact that his sex drive is not back to normal yet. You guys can still be intimate with each other like maybe sleeping together in the nude, cuddling, the small things can go a long way. Maybe visit a CSAT therapist together to help you work through the troubles you and him are having together. It seems like you guys have put a lot time and effort into this process. It would be a damn shame to give up on it now. Just my 2 cents.
     
    ElSabio likes this.

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