Accountability for All

Day 6 . Feeling good Simply. Please try this meditation technique. . I did it today . Feels amazing. Thanks to yrjyrj for sharing it with me

 

You made the right decision, bro. I'll let you know when better ways to block extensions are added to pluckeye.

 

Day 7. I have been very busy. There is confusion in mind still . Especially in social situations I don't know what to do . I feel unique amongst a grp of people. I have to tell myself that my story is different , my problems are different and that one day I will be having normal conversations too. I have to still talk to a lot of people regarding my past , the reason of me being weird and antisocial. Right now I am in relationships mode where I just want my every relationship to be stable. Just wanna reach that point and sustain it. This will be my goal for upcoming month. Be strong men.

 

day8 done.
almost no urges.
today was a very tiring day for me overall lol,
and i am yet to exercise, meditate and finish tomorrows homework.

 

On to the target of 15 days. Life keeping me very busy. Need to be careful next week as I will be alone. My first target is to pass the weekend. Second is to survive till Wednesday

 

Day 8 is going good. Grateful for all the support . Thanks.

 

You can do this bro.

 

Day 1

I just signed up to this site. I'm fed up with myself & my inability to quit this sad habit.

I am doing this. Its harder than I'd like to admit but I've been lying to myself for too long, saying I can quit whenever I want to. I haven't been able to.

No more bullshit, this will be my first serious attempt & hopefully my last.

I'll make a post to this thread daily so I can hold myself accountable. Tired of failing to keep promises I make with myself.

 

supp bois!?
im doing good, a lot of thing going on, so i couldn't do much studying.
had a few urges too, but doing good!

aaah.
did you find another way to search for porn?

congratulations bro, you've taken the first step.
keep going! we are with you!

 

supp squad?!

 

Hey Cory it would be great if you could tell us why did you relapse. I am asking because i learn about myself everytime I relapse. Also as we all are in this together maybe somebody's experience can guide you. It's just a suggestion.

 

Hey buddy it's ok to not being able to quit this. It is very hard. The good thing is that you accept it and you are here with us. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to quit. This feeling can make you even more disgusted and can bring you back in loop. Small wins is the key. It has to be seen as a habit something like watching TV a lot. It is actually a bad habit. That's all. You have to replace it with new ones. If you watch TV too much , you don't enter the room which has TV. You have to treat porn the same way. Ending a bad habit is more about making strategies rather then controlling urges. You can never control urges but you can make conscious decisions of not scrolling the mobile screen unnecessarily. Instead read a book. Decide not to jump on bed and start scrolling . Things like that . Once you jump out of emotions of not being able to control it , you will start making strategies . If the strategies don't work say to yourself - well I wasn't expecting this trigger to happen , it's not what my strategy covered..I will do this now to change the result rather then being emotional. Once you get small wins you will see that it's not so bad . May I know what triggered you this time ?

 

You're right & thanks for the uplifting words, it helps!

I truly feel like I'm doing this alongside people who are going through the same thing, it makes everything a little easier. And having this forum where I can share my thoughts and pent up anger at this whole situation also helps I have to admit.

Again, thanks for the solid advice! I try to not beat myself up over failing but I've tried quitting this habit for at least 4 years on & off, sometimes it hits a little harder when I fail...
Though it wasn't until this year I admitted to myself it was an actual addiction. I lied to myself for years saying I can quit whenever I feel like it. This is my first, in all honesty, serious attempt at quitting.

If I remember right my last trigger was the usual one. Laying in bed, watching shows & videos. I was on a 3 or 4 day streak which is usually when I get really "in the mood"...
After a while of watching, porn & women start to creep up in the back of my mind. I "ignore" it but I feel like that's a lie, it's more like I put the thought on hold & know I will pick it back up later when I'm bored with the stuff I am watching. Which is basically what happened. I find a sexy picture, it then leads to a video which leads to porn & yeah. When I start masturbating im too in it to think clearly or to think of what I actually want, not just what me in the moment wants.

Sorry for the rant, feels good getting some stuff off my chest though

 

Thanks bro! Gives me a confidence boost & it feels a bit reassuring, like I can actually do this after all when I get support like this!

Day 2!

 

way to go!!

 

Hi bro , I have been addict since 9 yrs . I understand. I used to do the same. I didn't know what to do with my day , so I watched Netflix , YouTube etc. And eventually used to end up watching porn. Now I have minimised seeing things that doesnt matter. I replaced them with going out with friends , playing chess , learning guitar , exercising , yoga and meditation . Now I feel much more control over my choices. I feel sluggish in afternoon and late night . I know at that time using mobile is dangerous. I just avoid using it then. Even at the cost of doing nothing . I just lay down in afternoon , I get bored but I let the boredom pass through me. And after laying down for 15 min or so I automatically get a feeling to do something productive. I had to get comfortable with doing Nothing. So just try putting out your mobile phone at the side and use the time to either do nothing or to do something productive . It will take time bro but I can assure you that your streaks will increase this way.

 

Day 10. Had a boner in the morning with uncontrollable urges . Thought it was the end . But controlled somehow.
Being a part of this community is a lifesaver. Earlier I was fighting alone with no mission but now I am AP. I have to do it for myself and others.