Ashamed of wanting to be dominant

Gittir · Jun 15, 2018

All my life I've been expected to be the nice gentle giant. Now, I've got no problem with being a kind person, but I can't hide the truth from myself any longer: I love the thought of being in control in the bedroom, lusted after by other people, and respected and dominant in the larger world. I now realise it's why I've had a mind control kink for a long time (as in, I fantasise about being the dominant one). But I'm too ashamed of it to act in any way on my desires (and lifelong anxiety disorder certainly doesn't help), and I don't know how to start. What do I do?

whatrichme · Jun 15, 2018

I think i am a control freak too, I used to have a very very submissive girlfriend everything was wonderful.
The girl after her was a complete opposite, very self-interested while not very self-aware. Hard time.

Thinking back, with that submissive girl with me I should have been much more dominating so she could be happier, and I won't regret / feel the unsatisfied needs today.
There is nothing wrong to be dominant, as long as you don't give people a hard time.

Some girls genuinely love dominating man (to the extreme), they are happy when you are.
I have a nice way in identifying these kind of submissive girls.

drac16 · Jun 15, 2018

I don't see a problem with that. The only thing I would be against is if you wanted to be dominant against your partner's wishes. If she/he doesn't want you to be the dominant one, I don't believe you should force her/him into it.

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Ashamed of wanting to be dominant

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