Beat it.

Hey everybody,
So... before I start.. yes. The subject and user name is a joke. I want to beat the addiction, not actually beat it haha.

Alrighty, little background. I am 20 years-old and I was raised in a very religious family... I first started masturbating at a young age... with the utmost secrecy because of the whole religious family thing lol. I can't remember when porn really started... to be honest, I can't really remember a time when I didn't watch it. It's been pretty bad for awhile now... like 3-5 times a day probably... maybe a little less sometimes.

I was recently dating this girl and she just broke up with me. I'm not super upset about it, because I wasn't really in it anyway. She was cool, but wasn't really for me.

Anyway, the reason I think she broke up with me is because I didn't cum when we had sex. I think this is because of my dependency on porn and my own hand (before you ask, yes, it was awkward as hell making up excuses lol)

Sex feels amazing, and I get really close, but not all the way there. So, my solution is to stop beating it. I don't want porn to control me anymore. I want to be more than my bodily urges. I don't want to think about getting home and finally being able to beat it (It's pathetic and a shitty way to live). And I don't want to make excuses when I'm with a girl. Also, I want to be able to appreciate females for more than the physical things they offer. I think I'm a pretty nice guy (I open doors, including car doors, for ladies, I pay, and I'm respectful) but lately, I feel myself changing. Physical stuff takes preference over simply enjoying time with a girl. I don't want to be like that. I don't think healthy relationships can come from that. Sooo yah... I know I kind rambled about a lot of stuff, sorry! Anyway, I'm excited to start this journey of no fapping. I'm hoping by the end of the month I can have just about a solid 30 days under my belt. Any tips or help you guys can offer would be super appreciated! I've been reading about an accountability partner, so if anybody out there wants one, I'm open!

 

I'm realizing now, I think I posted this in the wrong section. Sorry! I would change it, but I don't know how. My bad!