During rebooting + Getting awarenness - what I like of porn

kept relapsing these days - 24 days no pmo did but now I stood up on my foot again, started 1 day 9 hours... Saw benefits great 24 days no pmo ... When I relapsed.... Realised that.... I don't like porn in the sense I am more connected to my inner peace that I value more and pmo does not give me peace to be honest after these 24 days I think I won a battle .... thou I lost some minor ones but know I need to keep advancing to win my enemy pmo .. Porn for me is more the excitement of the thrill as I see a pornstar naked and acting out and feel the rush over my body but I found I use porn as a drug for excitement (I don't pmo and watch porn for porn sake as I don't love porn - 80-70% of people does not in fact neither have sex for sex sake they don't love sex they doing it cause they have issues and are in chaous... they driving a Ferrari (sex) into the cliffs rather then in a racecourse so the beauty can be shown... beauty is love and love is the antidote of chaous... what I discovered I. Me is that pmo and this thrill helps me deal with emotions. Now the question is why I need the thrill example surely one against many is emotional regulation... But pmoing is not the best way to emotional regulate and to find peace. Does for me the question is whether I value thrill more then peace in my value of hierarchies... ( It important to list your values and give each one a value from 1-20 but each number given ones) So the question is whether the trill and excess of dopamine is better then peace, stability and ballance and I think it is not as I know yesterday I again expiranced peace I did the day great and I did not need pmo in the end everything that exist even if related to sexuality in the end if not made with love it is good only for the piggs.

 

I add even sex for pleasure anything done solely for pleasure will become addictive. Things must be done in love for love not of the ego s pleasure.... Love is the most meaningful thing.