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Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.
Hello friend, I would like to achieve this goal too.
Great you are joining the NO ESCORT FEBRUARY CHALLENGE.
Guys, sorry, I relapsed yesterday. I was on remote control. Could once more see where it all leads to, what the consequences of such a lifestyle are.
No big words from my side right now, I get quiet and introspect, then go back on track with an even more clear, determined and honest attitude. It‘s an addiction, it‘s an illness, can‘t control it, life like this is not manageable. Stay strong, the fun really is NOT to fall.
you got this my friend. Your honesty is refreshing.
Good for updating the feb commitment too. Let’s stay on track.
Perfection is a characteristic of the Greek gods, of an automaton, of an invariable program. But the will is the characteristic of a person with courage to face a challenge. The gods have no challenges because nothing challenges them. That is why we are more interesting, and life has a more beautiful meaning. You have goals and fight for them. You are not alone in your goals. Come back soon!
thanks for making that list, just don’t be hard on yourself because it doesn’t do any you any good.
I’ve been reading some more books and motivational things, learning how this addiction works helps as well. It’s not easy, I’m 25 and been hooked to escorts since I was 20! Not quite 5 years but it’s time to end this now!
I keep in mind it’s a new decade, it’s 2020,
This is it, and take every bit of momentum you get and you can PM me if you want to.
listen to Dave Ramsey here:
Just listened to it, thanks man. Searching, missing, lonely ... yeah. I got hooked first online doing findom then after spending 10s of thousands thought better quit and instead go local where I get some physical touch in addition. After wasting another 10thousands realized I‘m an addict. Boy was I blind and desperate for connection. But that connection I need is not out there, I now know. So put on my spiritual boots and walking down that lane now, still a bit uncertain but at least less expensive. Just signed up to rTribe Premium for 60 bucks a year. Funny thing is that I am always a bit hesitant spending money like donating to Nofap or paying for a recovery app whereas when it comes to sex I throw it out of the window. Bizarre. I mean 60 a year on an app is same as 10 minutes on a hooker ...
We humans are crazy!
I've donated to NoFap, and again now that they are collecting for the lawsuit. NoFap has helped me immeasurably — free! — so it's worth paying something back.
Absolutely, especially after spending 1000s on prostitutes money shouldn‘t be the reason for not supporting the good cause.
Last night my client took me around town. One of the stops was where you pick up the local chicks for a good time at a certain price. I realized in this trip that I was stronger when I don’t give in. He was encouraging the girls to come to my side of the car and discuss. I was not a jerk to either him or to them, but I politely shared that what I wanted they were not it. We left and instead Of feeling regret that I didn’t get one , I felt strength ... maybe moral strength that I didn’t do anything and that I didn’t spend any money for this. I even told him—- I had a date planned (today) and was trying to make sure I am back to 100%.
Also i decides to give up drinking.
I got dangerously sick and dehydrated after drinking the local box wine. I made it worse by combining it with local coffee. Together I felt my heart racing, my hands shaking, and my throat dry, my tongue swollen , I was unable to communicate in Spanish ... it was like having a mini stroke.
in this condition many things felt clear. Ironically.
I am thankful for the experience. I was unsure If I would experience some kind of lingering brain trauma or damage —- thankfully none has occurred. But last year ... many tourists here died from alcohol poisoning. I found some charcoal tablets and now After re-hydrating for 48 hours and sleeping like a baby, I feel great.
like my name says ... it’s time4realchange.
Last year i went to Tijuana. With the wrong intentions and I'll say it was a very poor area. With some sad poor sights and just wasn't any good for me.
Next time im in any other foreign country or place, i'm won't be looking for the rift raft stuff anymore. Not worth it, not looking to get drunk and f'd up.
Alcohol isn't an addiction for me, but has influenced me to do some things i'm not proud of so i don't drink but socially, and then i don't over do it. I have a hard
time stomaching the strong stuff.
Thanks man. I feel at times our little circle represents the best of nofap. Thank you guys for your commitment to honesty, humility and non-pretentiousness at hearing the unforgivable shit I do and others confess to here. I’m not catholic but this confession-like element of this really has a humongous effect in my personal life.
I suck at this.
tonight I was feeling so low. Desperate.
it is the last time I can have sex for months. I considered an escort under these new facts. And not finding what I want brings a new sense of shame.
I feel I WOULD have gone for it had my conditions been met. I feel like I’m negotiating with my carnality instead of straight manhandling it like I did with my former porn addiction.
a success of not acting out doesn’t feel like a win , when you go “active addict
Not sure what I will do with this energy.
Not finding what you want ... in my case this happens cause I‘ve tried so many different approaches and escorts that by now when I scroll through profiles and read the texts and get their replies I know they say yes to all cause they want me there, and once there and once touched they have the money.
Many times I could hold back cause conditions were not met, then at other times I started with expectations, then lowered the bar, then thought oh wtf I just need anything now. Any thing ... hm. Not even any human anymore.
What I learned again from my last relapse is that only one thing helps for the moment and that is: Zero Tolerance. No profiles. But it starts even before, in my thinking. All thoughts that go in this one direction I have to right away say No to. No. My thinking is still polluted.
Hey, just to check in. I survived my business trip without relapsing.
The weekend was hard on me too. My birthday was here and my brain immadietly started to look for excuses like "i should treat myself" on this occasion with a fine escort. I said no. It was a big win. I was tough enough to say no, instead i had sex with my girlfriend who i love very much and appriciated my sobriety.
Almost went into full on porn bindge on a hungover filled morning but i said no again. Huge wins. I'm proud of myself. Hopefully the next week will bring more moments of clarity like this. I also started the 12 steps relating to my SLAA goup membership
Your stories are very inspiring. I feel what @need4realchg typed about the group. Huge spirits here.
Everyone where ever you are please be safe, I hear a lot of a bad Coronavirus epidemic. You don’t want to get sick, neither do I and may God bless those who are ill and sick! China has it bad at the moment!
Let’s keep winning this fight!
That's where it always starts. There is a saying in NLP, "When there's a contest between your will and your imagination, your imagination always wins." Be careful where you take your imagination.
Absolutely, yes, agree fully. As soon as thoughts pop up and I start arguing or imagining, projecting, fantasizing it‘s only a matter of time until the next relapse.
I used to indulge why it‘s good I stopped doing ... such and such and would elaborate about such and such. Doing so I was again occupied with acting out even when in the sense of not acting out. I stopped it. Each time now thoughts pop up that are related to my addiction I say No.
Zero Tolerance for compulsive weed in my mind garden. That helps. Just need to keep it up and not get sloppy again.
ever since my last relapse (8 days ago) which lasted estimated 15 minutes with actual action felt 5 minutes (I‘m telling this to remind you: It‘s not worth it), I‘m doing fine. How are you all doing? Stay strong and with the money spoil yourself with something valuable.
I’m great, it’s been a long time since I been this far! Thanks for reminder, going to keep the momentum! 1/2 way thru February!