Get educated, get tools, and learn to love withdrawals

Hello friends. Today I mark 9 months clean. No porn, no PMO, no MO. I am not hard mode, I do have a loving partner in my life, which is the reason I decided to get totally clean in the first place. Recently someone asked what they looked forward to when they beat porn addiction. I don't look forward to it, I live it, so can you. This is how I feel.

http://www.nofap.org/stories/NoFap-does-not-give-super-powers/

If porn is your kryptonite, you have to delete it from your life. I am 9 months clean, no porn, no PMO, no MO. How do I feel? I feel dangerous. I feel like nothing can defeat me. Like I am unbeatable. Like there is no challenge I cannot face. The brain fog of the dopamine high is gone. All my five senses are honed and clear. I look people in the eye now. Food and drink taste better. The wind on my skin feels better. My thoughts are clear and keen. I have no fear, I look forward to adversity now, because I want to be challenged. I feel like a man in full. This is what freedom feels like. I am higher now than I ever was on porn, but now I am high on life, on being alive.

Break the chains.

I am telling each and everyone of you reading this, you, too, can be clean. You can beat it. It will be challenging, but you can rise to that challenge. You can find help here. How do we help? We help ourselves by helping others, so...help.

Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSPOJRrxczE

Much love.

PS: Mark and cocorosie are also here, and both are excellent teachers, so if you want to learn how to quit, ask them. They have taught me and many here.

 

Hi Mark, we did it together. You were huge in helping me. Thank you.

I want to mourn and thank Adrianne Wadewitz, who recently died.

https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/adrianne-wadewitz-died-rock-climbing-200336364.html

She died while aspiring, while doing what we all aspire to do and live, she died while living. Get out and live. Even if it kills you. It is better to die living than die while dying...so...

She was a student. Those most happy on the planet are students. The next group of people who are happy are teachers. Turn it off. Get out. Live. LIVE.

You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. And, I have done it.

Break the chains. Get clean.

Much love.

 

Hi Everett, thanks for the kind words.

Everyone, Time4aChang just posted a link to a post. The post is by brick_eater from Nofap Reddit. Because he says it the way it is, because he speaks the truth, I am going to paste it here:

My last 100 days have been truly transformative. Since I first discovered NoFap back in the summer of 2012, I’ve been through both periods of strict abstinence and periods of indulgent binging, and it’s taken me nearly two years to discover what the real secret to success with this is. My second-longest streak started on January 5th 2013 and lasted 90 days. Literally seconds after the 90th day passed, I took my eyes off the clock and loaded up my laptop. I’d been waiting for weeks to fap, and of course immediately after I did I felt fucking terrible. Despite feeling like shit I fell back into my old ways and readopted my self-destructive habits for a long while.



This is not how success with NoFap works.



Currently I’m on the 100th day of what has been by far the most life-changing and yet easiest streak yet. It’s a streak that as of today has only lasted 10 days more than the 90 day streak last year, and yet this one has had a far more profound impact on my life. Why? Because I have conducted my life in the certainty that this streak has no end. 100 days ago, I masturbated for the final time in my life. There is a 0% chance that I will ever fap again.



What you have to understand is that NoFap is not something you do for a short period of time. If you say to yourself ‘I’m going to do the 90 day challenge’ then what you’re really telling your brain is that you’re going to abstain for a period and then you’ll get to ‘reward’ yourself with binging after (crazy thinking, but we’ve all done this). You may instead tell yourself that you’ll abstain for 90 days, you’ll fap once as a reward, then you’ll abstain for maybe 100 days more, fap once, abstain for 150 days, etc. But you and I both know that this just doesn’t happen.



Written below is what you have to do to make NoFap really, really easy, and have incredible success with it. I implore you to do this today – right now if possible, though if you’re reading this at work or at school then it would be best to wait until you have some free time alone, as this initially requires some serious focus and mental energy expenditure.



Are you ready? Here’s what you must do:



YOU MUST MAKE THE TRUE DECISION TO NEVER, EVER FAP AGAIN.



The power of a true decision is a remarkable thing that I first read about in Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. It is not what we normally mean when we talk about decisions. For example, you may make the ‘decision’ to give up smoking, but after a couple of weeks end up giving in to your nicotine cravings. What you have to understand is that what you had thought had been a decision was not a true decision – you never made the decision to quit smoking in the first place.



A true decision is some supernatural, Doctor-Who-esque shit, in that it has the power to transcend time. This might sound ridiculous but bear with me. When I made the true decision that I would never fap again, it was an incredibly liberating feeling, because in that precise instant I made all of the (relevant) possible future decisions all at once. For the rest of my life, I will never again have to decide whether or not to fap, because I already decided that fapping is an impossibility!



In a way, it’s fucking terrifying. It’s like you’ve been living your entire life aboard an aeroplane that’s been circling above a beautiful landscape. You’ve had momentary glimpses of the land below but have always turned your head away in fear, convincing yourself that it’s just an illusion. Only now do you notice the skydiving kit at the back of the aircraft, and a small thought begins to form in your brain: “what if…?”



Making a true decision is like jumping out of the aeroplane – scary as hell and there’s no going back. If you break a NoFap streak, you haven’t left the plane. Once you finally make that decision to improve for good, life becomes an exhilarating freefall. It takes raw psychological strength to do it and you will encounter a lot of resistance at first, but if you can break through that self-imposed mental block, you will experience a freedom and optimism like never before!



Now, when I say that this will make NoFap really easy, I do not mean that you will never experience urges. Even as I type this my balls are aching pretty bad. So long as my dick continues to work, I don’t think the urges will ever go away. But although you experience the discomfort of the urges, it is a discomfort that you just accept with grace and ease. Every time an urge arises, you look it square in the eye and, with UNFALTERING CONVICTION, you mentally declare the following word: “No.” You have already made the decision that you will never give in; in that moment you are simply passing the message on from your higher consciousness to your lower consciousness. From there you simply channel that sexual energy into whatever you were doing, and you do it with a new-found, controlled vigour.



You need to have a concentrated and brutally honest think about your life. Do you want to settle for mediocrity? If you’re reading this then the chances are you don’t. At a deep level, no matter how you rationalize it, you know that fapping is holding you back, and that you must cut it out forever. The time has come for you to decide whether you are going to condemn yourself to a life of indiscipline and self-indulgence or free yourself from the shackles of addiction and transform into something far greater than you had imagined possible.



Make the right decision. Make it a true decision. Make it today.



Jump off that fucking plane.


You have to decide which line you are on. One cannot overcome porn addiction and keep porn in their lives, any more than a heroin addict can beat that addiction while still using. You must totally eliminate porn or any other button you push to artificially release dopamine in your brain. If you are going to win this, it simply has to go. One of the hardest, yet most rewarding, thing I did in my journey was to turn off the counter. One day I realized this was not about how long I could go before I relapsed, and I made a commitment to never watch porn again. I will never watch porn again. I don't suspect I won't, I don't hope I won't; I know I won't. You have to get that mindset, the never again mindset.

Good luck on your journey.

 

Hi matadoc, thank you for writing. Reading posts and replying are part of my recovery, a tool I use to stay clean, so thank you.

I like your avatar. Porn addiction is sort of like the Ring of Power, at first it is mildly interesting, but by the end, it consumes.

You are in a dark place. I know, I have been there. I want to see you get clean, but don't do it on willpower alone. Get some assistance, get tools, get a good porn blocker, put obstacles between yourself and the problem. Don't quit passively, take charge of your life, set some goals and achieve them. Also, be aware that when quitting, there will be some failures. No one quits porn the first time. Remember that scene from The Matrix? The one where Neo first tries the jump program. Quitting porn is a little like that. You have to build up your strength, understand what you are capable of. After that you will make the jump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vlzKaH4mpw

You will fail a few times a long the way, but one day, if you keep going, I promise you, there will come a day when you never fail again.

Also, students, I wish to talk to you about kindness, being kind to others. I am giving you an assignment, for those of you who wish to accept it. Your assignment: find someone today and do them a small kindness. It does not have to be over the top. No no no, I know what you are thinking. How, you ask, do I know what you are thinking? Well, I am addict too. You are thinking I will be kind to someone today by not being cruel. I will harm no one today. That is your definition of kindness. But that will not be good enough for today's exercise. You see my friends, porn is the ultimate disengagement from life, from living. Porn is the opposite of living. Porn is even a greater disengagement from life than drugs. At least the heroin addict has to interact with his dealer; the crack addict likes to smoke in groups. The porn addict though uses in solitude and secrecy, totally alone. It is true that in the scientific and biological sense, quitting porn is about weaning off of dopamine addiction. But the other side of the coin is reengaging with life, closing the computer screen, interacting with others. Living.

But, life, you say, can be cruel. Yes, life is often like a bare fisted fight; it will strike you in the face and have you spitting blood, it is often hard, often cruel. So, why would you ever wish to engage in life as opposed to absorbing yourself in internet porn? Because while internet porn fascinates the porn addict, there is nothing beautiful, wonderful, spectacular, loving in porn, and while life is often hard and difficult, if you wish to experience beauty, wonder, spectacles, and love, you have disconnect from the net, get out from in front of the computer, and and engage humanity. Life will be painful, but only in living, only in reality, can you find beauty.

Porn addicts can choose to watch porn, it is a choice, but porn addicts have no choice in experiencing a dopamine high if they watch it. We are wired that way, it is, for us, cause and effect, stimulus/response. I implore you to choose not to watch it.

So, your assignment, be kind, even if only in some small way, to someone in your life today. Make a point of it, plan on it, plan on it now. Don't be passive, don't merely be un-cruel, take positive action to do something good for someone today. How do we help ourselves? We help ourselves by helping others. So help. I don't care if it is bringing in the groceries for your landlady (subtle Matrix reference).

Watch this video upon the topic of being kind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1KCzrTg9ic

Good luck on your journey.

Class dismissed.