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I know it’s possible, but can someone tell me how?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Pathofsuccess_1, Apr 27, 2021.

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  1. Apr 27, 2021 #1
    Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    A lot of people on this forum talk about how you should be getting a gf and someone real to spend time with and have a healthy sexual life with.

    ive been thinking of asking for numbers

    my question is, how do you do so without getting aroused?

    like, I will likely get a boner if I ask a girl out and see a pretty girl I’m on a date with. Is that healthy on nofap? If so, do I just avoid any urges? I mean, it’s not porn, and it’s no masturbating.

    One thing I will say is I may avoid sex for atleast 40-60 days, possibly longer, but how would this work?
     
    Pathofsuccess_1, Apr 27, 2021
    Pathofsuccess_1, Apr 27, 2021
    #1
  2. Apr 27, 2021 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Wish I could give you a good answer one that. It's one of those problems I have, myself.

    I usually start out nofap with the intent of not having sex or dating any girls for 2 to 3 months.
    However, after a few days I usually get so... driven (to avoid saying "horny", because it's more than that) that I install Tinder and start dating girls. Then soon enough I have sex and that's where it gets difficult: It triggers the chaser effect. And as soon as I have time away from that girl I am dating, it usually drives me back to PMO, because my awakened sex drive and urges become so incredibly strong.

    I GUESS it would be smarter to just stay away from girls for a few months. But then again, I just had a first date with a great girl yesterday and will most likely see her again this week...

    One UPSIDE of this approach, however, is that you are less likely to have the "flatline" a lot of people here experience. By keeping that drive awake with real sex, you probably won't fall into that libido-void. At least I never did in 5 years of doing nofap.
     
    Deleted Account, Apr 27, 2021
    Deleted Account, Apr 27, 2021
    #2
  3. Apr 27, 2021 #3
    Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    I feel you on that, I haven’t tried tinder, though, but I am generally curious. Since your seeing pictures of attractive girls on there sometimes, can that be considered artificial stimulation?

    I’m curious because I’ve dealt with this issue a lot in the past and I’ve been through a lot of purposeful relapses (probably the worst choice) but I thought my streak was ruined. (Which after relapse I know that it was definitely not)

    Obviously, looking around on Instagram and Tik Tok at attractive girls (didn’t want to trigger) is a relapse, but as long as you don’t fap, is tinder ok?
     
    Pathofsuccess_1, Apr 27, 2021
    Pathofsuccess_1, Apr 27, 2021
    #3
  4. Apr 27, 2021 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I don't know how to answer this. I don't use any social media and it's impossible to arouse me with pictures. Hell, it's even impossible to arouse me with regular porn. I guess it's about the only benefit of having been a camgirl addict for 10 years who hasn't cared for regular porn in just as long a time. The ONLY thing that arouses me is live interaction with a girl (both, virtual or real).

    So for me, the whole mindset of Tinder is... I guess pretty normal? I go through the profiles, look out if they're attractive for me (come on, it's Tinder!) but also if they seem educated, have a job, if they seem to be funny etc. Not that you could recognize THAT much in most profiles, but then again I am a very selective swiper. Then you have a few chats, quickly find out if they share your views, humor, lifestyle etc. meet up and that's it.

    I never really thought about whether looking at profiles on Tinder should arouse me. But to answer your question: It doesn't and it never was a problem for me. But your mileage may vary.
     
    Deleted Account, Apr 27, 2021
    Deleted Account, Apr 27, 2021
    #4

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