I'm new here and the reason I've decided to join.

Finally thought I'd join this forum and see if I can improve my life without giving into the temptations of watching porn and jacking off. As lately it's been bringing me down and I've been feeling a great sense of shame as I keep giving into said temptations.

There's been times where I've gone for about a week or two but then I see something or think of something that which just gets me going, then after a few short minutes I feel great but then I just start to feel awful for allowing myself to give in so easily. Sometimes this has happened when I've been at a friend's house or at work, where I have to retreat into the nearest bathroom and do the deed but afterwards I feel so fucking awful, like I know what I did was wrong but sometimes it's so hard to control even when I'm out of my own house. Everytime I've done it I think to myself 'why?' 'why couldn't I have just waited until I got home? why did I risk getting caught for a few minutes of feeling good?'.

The first couple of times I didn't feel all that guilty, thought 'okay that's the only time I'm doing that' but after a year or so I ended up doing it again at the start of this year and ever since then I've felt so guilty, especially when I did it at a friends house when I was staying over the night after a night at the pub and woke up at 6 am in the morning feeling hungover and horny, so I decided to go into his bathroom for a while. My friend doesn't know this but I think it's best for him not to know even though the guilt is still eating away at me months later.

Another reason why I want to stop is I'm relying way to much on it as to cope with being single as I haven't been sexually active since I was 16, I'm now 25. So instead of going out and finding someone I've just been jacking off whenever I get lonely or horny or both.

So this is why I've decided to join to stop myself from doing something like this again and to stop myself from relying on jacking off and to be porn free as it's lost its thrill and jacking off feels like a chore these days for me, as I haven't enjoyed it in a while as I've been using it to relieve myself of stress and to help me sleep better at night.

I hope I haven't weirded any of you guys out and if I have I'm sorry but I don't know where else I can go to for help with this and I don't want to ruin the relationship I have with my friends by talking about my masturbation.