Today I’m on day 5 and I’ve been seeing exponential improvements in day to day life after getting back on track. Now I wouldn’t technically classify this as porn at all (I didn’t watch or see any actual porn or nakedness for that matter) but I knew it would be good to ask. When I was on youtube about an hour and a half ago, I was scrolling through (for a completely inexplicit purpose). I ran into a pic of a hot girls face in the corner of my eye. When I run into this problem it’s usually not even a hot girl or anything it’s just some average girl so I looked thinking maybe my mind would be laying tricks on me and I saw the girls face. I get bothered really because I don’t like seeing anything at all while rebooting. I like a mr. clean streak. I then got aroused from the split second I looked at it out of curiosity (Not sexual curiosity) then quickly looked away as I always do. I then got scatter brain anxiety with thoughts like “did I relapse” “did I relapse” running through my head as I’m scrolling through YouTube trying to exit all forms of arousing thumbnails or anything related. I ran into more stuff (the internet is seemingly filled with potentially arousing content to some extent) I then just panicked and exited the youtube app altogether to risk nothing no further. I was then aroused, this really worried me. It was a little hard to stay away with the thoughts rushing though my head and the topic of these images generally on my mind. I looked up motivational nofap success stories and benefit observations. Scrolling through there was one half of my brain horny still and another half saying NOPE absolutely not. I was scrolling through because I didn’t really think much about arousing content on a nofap success story. I saw some behind (mainly the hip curve and glanced so quick I couldn’t even tell what gender it was and I definitely was not going to check again to find out. (JUST to put it out there I am not homosexual at all. Nor am I homophobic.) I got a little more aroused after leaving that too because my brain was seeking something trying to make me peek at something because I didn’t actual peek at anything with true intention or length of time whatsoever. I played a game and ignored the urge completely and took a breather. It went away. This could be because of me worrying intensely about the situation, but I felt some sort of brain fog, and I no longer had an urge at all after I did NOT look at any porn, did not masturbate, and certainly did not orgasm. (I feared this could be because the thoughts densensitized me, but then again after having intense urges without fapping I would be having crazy urges) I know my anxiety can cause brain fog but I feel like I’m fine now, but would you consider this a relapse? I’m having insane benefits and I’m mainly just worried. Like I said I personally wouldn’t consider this a relapse since I refused to peek despite the moderately strong temptation. I know this is kind of long but if I could have some insight onto this I would appreciate it a lot. Thank you
Don't worry, that is not a relapse. A relapse would be intentionally going out of your way to look at pornographic content. Simply seeing a girl and finding her attractive is far from the same level as looking at porn.
I definitely agree, thanks for the reply. I am now at ease. I just felt it’d be better to make sure completely. We’ll both get 90 by early March!
