Need some advice please Depression, Anxiety attacks Day 76 first time trying nofap

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mars9, Apr 14, 2019.

  1. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Hi there. My name is Dan , I am 25 yo. I've started nofap 76 days ago , my first streak ever. I used to watch masturbate since I was 11 yo with erotic content or using vhs tape with porn when my parents were not home and when I was 13 I got my first computer and I was watching porn and doing pmo every day multiple times at day until this year when I stopped. During this period of 76 days I did not watch porn, I've edged 4 or 5 times without realpsing only for a minute or two and stopped. I've had porn flash back, some fantasy, In day 30 I had a extremly powerful urge that made me shaking and I had to jump in the cold shower to be able to get back to normal. In my first 27 days of nofap I felt amazing, euphoric and a sense of wellbeing, a bit more confident . Since day 50 I started to feel low, depressed but not every day, some days I felt ok, some depressed . I even felt worthless and generally low. Day 63 I had a wet dream which I woke up straight away as I was not sleeping deep enough. Since day 65 I am feeling very low , depressed, I had two anxiety attacks, negative toughts , feeling insecure, lazy, worthless. I want to mention that don't have a girlfriend, I take cold showers 1 at every 2 days at least, I do exercise a bit. I do have to mention that I navigate on facebook and bumble and tinder and pictures pop out as I swaping or on facebook but I didn't watch any porn since 28 january .

    I would like to know what is happening , is this normal? Can be dangerous? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you !
     
  2. 1 Tes. 4:3

    1 Tes. 4:3 Fapstronaut

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    I have noticed in long streaks that I get a similar feeling. It is as if I said "And that was all that it was?" and feel sad, but then after relapsing, I felt so much worse and end up thinking "really I did not appreciate it when I was free". Perhaps that is what is happening.
     
    Marstttsijbdkdnw likes this.
  3. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for replying. In the last two days I felt like a zombie. A few days ago I even tought about suicide , it just came in to my mind suddenly . And recently I was thinking to go back to the old days and do PMO. It's been 76 days and I did not relapse maybe it's the flatline period .
     
  4. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    edging are porn's back up drives....

    What are you doing as a routine? are you excising regularly ? meditating regularly, taking cold showers daily - are you fantasizing?
    what is your diet like?
    - take an inventory - these feelings aren't popping out of nowhere... you have to find why and where...
    are you doing any journaling, recovery work setting bigger life goals?


    social media can cause huge anxiety - read up on its negative effects.. practice digital health.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  5. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    I have a normal diet, I am eating fruits and vegetables, bread, meat (pork and salmon) rice, drinking cappuccino time to time amd chocolate or sweets but not very often. I replaced sugar with honey for drinks like tea or even coffee. I am duing 100 push ups every day and cold shower every two days. I read a lot as I feel hungry for knowledge . I recently bought the book "The Rational Male" and I want to read it at least a few times and I practice with the electric guitar. I don't do journaling but that that's a good ideea. I smoke a lot of ciggaretes , more than 15 daily which I want to cut off. A goal that I have set is to finnish my NVQ in electricity that I currently do and the second one in health that it's almost done.
     
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  6. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    sounds like you're on a great path the journaling might help...
     
  7. Welcome to the world of withdrawal my friend. Keep going. No PMO ever again.
     
  8. AxBlaim

    AxBlaim Fapstronaut

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    This is your brain panicking right now. Just don't give in and the withdrawal symptoms will soon pass
     
  9. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    You have a big future ahead of you with ups and downs which is NORMAL. With nofap man it’s gonna allow u to have the Strength in fighting the many battles u have right now in your life. Don’t worry if u relaspe, if u don’t good even better! But it’s probably gonna get harder and easier at the same time in recovery but man once u face your fears nothing can stop u!
     
    Freeddom_Taker and mars9 like this.
  10. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  11. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for the support and for the good toughts.
     
  12. Talalelsayed

    Talalelsayed Fapstronaut

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    I feel nearly the same, now i have doubt was it a good decision to start NoFap, i had advantage for the first month, then nothing new to experience, no motivation to continue.
     
    mars9 likes this.
  13. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    True. First month feels amazing and now it's depressing . Today I feel normal, nothing special, I don't feel as depressed as yesterday.

    What day are you on ? How do feel like on a roallcoaster , one day is good and the next one worse?
     
  14. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Sounds very familiar. I suspect you are having PAWS. We need to ride this out, buddy

    I just lined out what happened during my streaks over the last 1-1,5 years here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...t-a-time-千里之行,始於足下.223207/page-2#post-2000029

    Don't let it scare you off though, because I am a very severe case of edging for hours (2 to 7 hours) each night over the last 3-4 years. Before that I also jerked and edged everyday since I was 10. I am now 27 yo.
     
    Luke18 and mars9 like this.
  15. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Is interesting how my brain it's trying to play tricks on me. I've got a thought that keep to come into my mind constantly and it's like:

    Maybe this streak it's not working for some reason, I should relapse and start again and it might work better this time and get increased benefits.
     
  16. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    I never understood why people edge. To me that’s pure torture. You might as well just cum.
     
  17. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    For me it was the most pleasurable experience on earth. I didn't want to cum because then the party would be over
     
  18. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Because of the habit of masturbating that It's been cultivated in my daily routine for years.
     
  19. Yeah definitely!
    Close to 9 months brain still trying to play tricks on me by having porn dreams.
     
    mars9 and AspiringVitality like this.
  20. mars9

    mars9 Fapstronaut

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    Do you get sexual or porn fantasies throughout the day when awake after 9 months? If no when did they stopped?
     

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