Need some advice please Depression, Anxiety attacks Day 76 first time trying nofap

M

mars9

Fapstronaut
Hi there. My name is Dan , I am 25 yo. I've started nofap 76 days ago , my first streak ever. I used to watch masturbate since I was 11 yo with erotic content or using vhs tape with porn when my parents were not home and when I was 13 I got my first computer and I was watching porn and doing pmo every day multiple times at day until this year when I stopped. During this period of 76 days I did not watch porn, I've edged 4 or 5 times without realpsing only for a minute or two and stopped. I've had porn flash back, some fantasy, In day 30 I had a extremly powerful urge that made me shaking and I had to jump in the cold shower to be able to get back to normal. In my first 27 days of nofap I felt amazing, euphoric and a sense of wellbeing, a bit more confident . Since day 50 I started to feel low, depressed but not every day, some days I felt ok, some depressed . I even felt worthless and generally low. Day 63 I had a wet dream which I woke up straight away as I was not sleeping deep enough. Since day 65 I am feeling very low , depressed, I had two anxiety attacks, negative toughts , feeling insecure, lazy, worthless. I want to mention that don't have a girlfriend, I take cold showers 1 at every 2 days at least, I do exercise a bit. I do have to mention that I navigate on facebook and bumble and tinder and pictures pop out as I swaping or on facebook but I didn't watch any porn since 28 january .

I would like to know what is happening , is this normal? Can be dangerous? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you !
 
I have noticed in long streaks that I get a similar feeling. It is as if I said "And that was all that it was?" and feel sad, but then after relapsing, I felt so much worse and end up thinking "really I did not appreciate it when I was free". Perhaps that is what is happening.
 
Thank you for replying. In the last two days I felt like a zombie. A few days ago I even tought about suicide , it just came in to my mind suddenly . And recently I was thinking to go back to the old days and do PMO. It's been 76 days and I did not relapse maybe it's the flatline period .
 
covimarius said:
I've edged 4 or 5 times without realpsing
Click to expand...
edging are porn's back up drives....

What are you doing as a routine? are you excising regularly ? meditating regularly, taking cold showers daily - are you fantasizing?
what is your diet like?
- take an inventory - these feelings aren't popping out of nowhere... you have to find why and where...
are you doing any journaling, recovery work setting bigger life goals?


covimarius said:
I do have to mention that I navigate on facebook and bumble and tinder and pictures pop out
Click to expand...
social media can cause huge anxiety - read up on its negative effects.. practice digital health.
 
I have a normal diet, I am eating fruits and vegetables, bread, meat (pork and salmon) rice, drinking cappuccino time to time amd chocolate or sweets but not very often. I replaced sugar with honey for drinks like tea or even coffee. I am duing 100 push ups every day and cold shower every two days. I read a lot as I feel hungry for knowledge . I recently bought the book "The Rational Male" and I want to read it at least a few times and I practice with the electric guitar. I don't do journaling but that that's a good ideea. I smoke a lot of ciggaretes , more than 15 daily which I want to cut off. A goal that I have set is to finnish my NVQ in electricity that I currently do and the second one in health that it's almost done.
 
covimarius said:
I have a normal diet, I am eating fruits and vegetables, bread, meat (pork and salmon) rice, drinking cappuccino time to time amd chocolate or sweets but not very often. I replaced sugar with honey for drinks like tea or even coffee. I am duing 100 push ups every day and cold shower every two days. I read a lot as I feel hungry for knowledge . I recently bought the book "The Rational Male" and I want to read it at least a few times and I practice with the electric guitar. I don't do journaling but that that's a good ideea. I smoke a lot of ciggaretes , more than 15 daily which I want to cut off. A goal that I have set is to finnish my NVQ in electricity that I currently do and the second one in health that it's almost done.
Click to expand...
sounds like you're on a great path the journaling might help...
 
You have a big future ahead of you with ups and downs which is NORMAL. With nofap man it’s gonna allow u to have the Strength in fighting the many battles u have right now in your life. Don’t worry if u relaspe, if u don’t good even better! But it’s probably gonna get harder and easier at the same time in recovery but man once u face your fears nothing can stop u!
 
I feel nearly the same, now i have doubt was it a good decision to start NoFap, i had advantage for the first month, then nothing new to experience, no motivation to continue.
 
Talalelsayed said:
I feel nearly the same, now i have doubt was it a good decision to start NoFap, i had advantage for the first month, then nothing new to experience, no motivation to continue.
Click to expand...

True. First month feels amazing and now it's depressing . Today I feel normal, nothing special, I don't feel as depressed as yesterday.

What day are you on ? How do feel like on a roallcoaster , one day is good and the next one worse?
 
mars9 said:
Hi there. My name is Dan , I am 25 yo. I've started nofap 76 days ago , my first streak ever. I used to watch masturbate since I was 11 yo with erotic content or using vhs tape with porn when my parents were not home and when I was 13 I got my first computer and I was watching porn and doing pmo every day multiple times at day until this year when I stopped. During this period of 76 days I did not watch porn, I've edged 4 or 5 times without realpsing only for a minute or two and stopped. I've had porn flash back, some fantasy, In day 30 I had a extremly powerful urge that made me shaking and I had to jump in the cold shower to be able to get back to normal. In my first 27 days of nofap I felt amazing, euphoric and a sense of wellbeing, a bit more confident . Since day 50 I started to feel low, depressed but not every day, some days I felt ok, some depressed . I even felt worthless and generally low. Day 63 I had a wet dream which I woke up straight away as I was not sleeping deep enough. Since day 65 I am feeling very low , depressed, I had two anxiety attacks, negative toughts , feeling insecure, lazy, worthless. I want to mention that don't have a girlfriend, I take cold showers 1 at every 2 days at least, I do exercise a bit. I do have to mention that I navigate on facebook and bumble and tinder and pictures pop out as I swaping or on facebook but I didn't watch any porn since 28 january .

I would like to know what is happening , is this normal? Can be dangerous? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you !
Click to expand...

Sounds very familiar. I suspect you are having PAWS. We need to ride this out, buddy

I just lined out what happened during my streaks over the last 1-1,5 years here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...t-a-time-千里之行，始於足下.223207/page-2#post-2000029

Don't let it scare you off though, because I am a very severe case of edging for hours (2 to 7 hours) each night over the last 3-4 years. Before that I also jerked and edged everyday since I was 10. I am now 27 yo.
 
Is interesting how my brain it's trying to play tricks on me. I've got a thought that keep to come into my mind constantly and it's like:

Maybe this streak it's not working for some reason, I should relapse and start again and it might work better this time and get increased benefits.
 
mars9 said:
Is interesting how my brain it's trying to play tricks on me. I've got a thought that keep to come into my mind constantly and it's like:

Maybe this streak it's not working for some reason, I should relapse and start again and it might work better this time and get increased benefits.
Click to expand...

Yeah definitely!
Close to 9 months brain still trying to play tricks on me by having porn dreams.
 
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