Need to cut out the P-Subs and the crap

I've noticed that while I returned to p0rn for a little while and have since stayed off from it, my instincts keep bringing me back to P-Subs even in the most bizarre of place. While I have since deleted and blocked Insta, FB, and p0rn sites on my pc and phone, my brain still wants to those dopamine spikes from semi-nude models and shit like that. It's even gotten me to the point where I look these things up in the FB Messenger App search bar, an app that I should only be using to contact my family and friends far away. I need to fully realize that what I'm doing is wrong. That whether it's with or without porn, and with or with or without p-subs, these addictive masturbation habits are wrong and are taking a lot of my time away from me.
I don't just want to quit PMOing and MOing to stuff related to P for the rest of my life. It makes me miserable. But I most also remember that I'm not quitting this addiction just to get in a relationship (as that's been a bugging thought lately) or to gain attention or for superpowers (although muscle strength and endurance at the gym is noticeable). I want to quit for my own future. I need to stop indulging in these self-destructing behaviors if I want to live up to my family's, to God's, and to my own expectations.
So far this year has been miserable with trying to quit PMO (although other things have improved). I was in a similar spot last year when the pandemic started. Now that it seems to be coming to an end, I think it's time to start fresh and start strong again.
For a better life!!!

P.S. I will also start following my early routine that I've ignored for so long. I mustn't forget the things that work.

 

Also I will start using this post to track my progress daily starting tonight.
Day 0
Reason for relapse: too much p-sub use over the day. I should've backed away when I had the chance. I cannot go back in time but I can only move forward.

 

Lol

 

Day 1 - so far so good. Homework is up next and while I have a few desires, I have not acted upon them. I'm going to the gym later for arm and chest day (cos I skipped bench) and will hopefully be exhausted by the end of the day.

 

*Sorry missed day 2 but here's yesterday's journal*

Day 2 - Little urges. Wasn't very physically active due to work. Thursday should be a better day.

 

Thank you my friend.

 

Day 0 - Relapsed again
Reason: looked at p-subs once more that slipped through my web blocker. Made sure to block them again.

Also, I need to stop being dependent on my gym buddies for transportation (I don't have a car yet) and should instead be responsible for getting there myself, as I've already skipped it twice this week.