So this is it. New attempt to try become free. I started during collage and ended up addicted while being lonely. Now it’s like my brain needs it from time to time. Or else I feel forced to do it - when I feel bad. It can be because of stress, loneliness, sadness and also boredom. I’m a female which also makes it all so ugly for me. I was always disgusted of sex and porn as young. It was a tabu because of my religious family and environment. I think this all actually made it even worse. Doing it in secret - made me feel better for the moment. While my family was actually falling apart. I want to end this, because soon I will start my own family. I’m happy I found this webpage. Maybe I can find support and strength. Thank you for reading and I hope that your journey is going well.