Glad to hear it. Yeah, when I was a kid books were my life. Part of recovering, for me, was learning how to return to the things that make me happy. Books are very, very high up on that list. Excited to get to the point you're at. Update on me: 21 month mark came and went. Digestion is finally starting to normalize. Been having wet dreams about once a week, which is quite a new phenomenon. I went from having 1 every 3-4 months to having them ~once a week. Still can't read, still have darker periods, still feel foggy, still have a limited amount of energy to spend. But yeah, I can definitely see changes. As Don has said, your perceptions begin to sharpen. Some days I'm still cloudy as ever, but others, I can see the outlines of leaves a little clearer, if that makes any sense. The world becomes more and more defined as time rolls on, though I still have those moments where I feel as if nothing has changed, and that it's going to take me another 6+ months to get back to normal. Been able to dip my toes back into meditation. I know this is controversial, but for me, it helps keep things somewhat even keeled, and I use it as a buffer to help me create space between urges and my reactions to them. Also been able to begin working out and eating healthier. This has been a very nice addition, because it allows me to focus on something other than rebooting. My plan is to begin working within the next 6 months, followed by a move somewhere across the country. I want to live in a big city, at least for now, so that I can make up on lost time. I want to experience as much as I can before my time is up. Still plan on doing mushrooms once I feel able and ready. Very excited about that. Feel like it'll be a nice bookend to all of this nonsense. Socializing has been easier, but I still don't feel "happy" most of the time, so I don't get the desired response from it. It's still more of a hassle than a pleasure, though sometimes I do like how it makes time go by faster. Rewards from activities are still few and far between. I mostly do things because they either make time go by faster or because I know the act will benefit my future self. I guess you could say I'm gaining in motivation levels, though I have to force the majority of the shit that I accomplish. I really can't wait until I feel the natural rewards to socializing, working out, or any other productive activity. Tryin' to think about what else has changed. The lows are still pretty fuckin' low, and now I don't have as much patience for them. Since I'm sharper, I'm fully aware of how unfair they seem, and how much they affect my ability to live normally. Hoping for the severity to start declining, though I'm psychologically prepared for more darkness. I'm still quite pessimistic on a day to day basis, expecting the worst but silently hoping for the best. Whenever I have decent days I don't trust them, and I expect a turn towards the red at any moment. I'm still praying, every day, that month 24 will be the magic number, but I think I'm just as pessimistic about it as anything else. I want 24 months to be the date, but I think, deep down, I expect it to be longer. I don't know. I guess I still don't even trust the idea that I am going to get better. I think a large part of me thinks that this shit will last forever. Like, I'm not even fucking prepared to wake up, each day, feeling like a normal person. Fuck, my expectations have been lowered so deeply that being able to go to bed before 3 a.m. feels like a "good" day. We'll see how things go. Even if 24 months does happen to be the magic number, I'm still ~90 days away. That's fuckin' funny, wathcing me write that number down. Now I feel like a true member of the Nofap community. 90 days.