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Relapse with my partner

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by conga, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    So I was on a 61 day streak with no pmoing. My partner stayed round last night and we had oral sex. After it I got a slight headache but not as bad as I’d usually get. Woke up the next day now and there is quite a bit of pressure in the back of my head on the right hand side. Not sure what to do. Do I tell my partner I don’t want to have sex? I did kinda enjoy it but I was more worries than anything else... My libido I could tell wasn’t as high as there’s.
     
  2. budvap

    budvap Fapstronaut

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    I doubt your headache has anything to do with having sex, does it? It sounds more like you're having a problem with your spine... Maybe you are lying in a uncompfortable position or tensing your neck muscles too much during orgasming? This can also be a result of stress. Why the worries?
     
  3. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    I’m not sure, I’ve had a similar feeling when I’ve relapsed to porn but a lot more extreme pain. Maybe it’s because I was worried about relapsing, I didn’t wanna orgasm beacuse of my PMO streak. I also think I may have sexual performance anxiety, not sure if that’s linked with the headaches. Should I carry on my PMO streak? and still have sex with my partner? I don’t have any desire to watch porn or M but I also have a very low libido and I know that’s a problem.
     
  4. SREENII

    SREENII Fapstronaut

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    hey i also have a similar head ache on my right back side of my head..it is haunting me for the last 7 years..whenever i abstain from porn for more than 1 month..sometimes i feel like some part of the nerve there is healing..but whenever i relapse the pain will be back again..i had undergone a CT scan..but it shows nothing abnormal..but i'm 100% sure..there is some problem with the right back side of my brain which causes me anxiety, depression
     
  5. budvap

    budvap Fapstronaut

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    Interesting what @SREENII writes. I am not health expert, indeed...

    As to the very low libido, did you consider falt line? I have read here some Fapstromates described it came to them in 40-60days and lasted for several weaks.

    As to have or have not sex with your partner I cannot give any advices since I did not get that far as you did. Anyway, I would speak to her if you can. They say that there is no point in having sex if either of you do not enjoy it during your reboot, especially. And I would agree that the point is to discover your natural sexuality for you, which has been lost due to the addiction. They also advocate Karezza a lot here.

    I do not have sexual activities with my wife now as our relationship got too "corrupted" so we do not feel like this. Anyway, I made an agreement with her that even if she becomes ready for having sex, I would like to finish 90 days hard mode and she willingly agreed. It is important for me to put clear milestones for me and require myself to keep them. I think we will start with less sexually-explicit activities first (like cuddling not naked for example) to build up our sexual life from the beginning again. As now, it is only occasional touches or kisses and either of us do not want to go further yet, although my libido would dictate me the opposite...

    ps: Did you manage oral sex without O? HUH, I cant imagine! :emoji_clap:
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2019
    SREENII likes this.
  6. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    That’s very similar to me! I get hot flushes too and just generally feel ill. It’s the day after now and I’ve had to leave work early because I feel so hot, flushed and dizzy.
     
  7. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the advice. Yes , it maybe a flatline. I’m not sure I was feeling weird before but now it’s times 100. I’ve had to come home from work because I felt so dizzy and hot.

    I think that’s what I’m going to have to do. Tell them that I don’t want to have sex anymore.

    No, I didn’t manage it without O. I think thats what’s made me feel so bad.
     
  8. budvap

    budvap Fapstronaut

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    Good luck, man!
     
  9. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    I've had a similar headache for almost 2days and felt drowsy and sleepy on the 2nd week of starting NoFap...I was sure it was due to NoFap as my brain was healing(you can Google headaches on NoFap and get a lot of information) but i planned to visit a doctor if it went on for a long time, so i suggest going to a doctor if it remains for a long time just to be safe.
    Your libido won't be high as your on flatline period probably but don't worry it will pass and you will have a healthy sexual drive again! Stay strong brother you can do it!
     
  10. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    It sucks doesn't it! Yeah I have a hospital appointment booked for the end of next month with a headache specialist, so hopefully they help me. Thank you, I really hope it passes. Good luck to you too!!
     
  11. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    Well i waited for 2days and it got better on it's own and haven't had any since then so i know now that it was due to NoFap! Thank you, i hope you get better soon!
     
  12. conga

    conga Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear you felt better. I’m sure I will too in a few days. I just think I need to stay away from PMO even with a partner. So I think I will and till my hospital appointment. Hopefully i’ll get some more answers and these headaches go.
     
    Suk likes this.
  13. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    Yes you will feel better soon brother....yes you should stay away from PMO for sometime till you brain is done rewiring and that's different for everyone so can't say exactly how long it would take but after my headaches went away after 2days i was in flatline. I hope you get better soon!
     
    conga likes this.

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