Relearning Human: From cub to lion

This is an action journal and a place to come when I am triggered to act out.

Amazing how far this journal dates back. I’m not here to dwell on old sh** just get in front of it.

I can say. At least I’m a little bit changed. I’m more realistic and less optimistic which can be a bother at times but I’ll be alright. I’m happy to say that I’ve gotten away from the illness of this addiction/ disease but I just acknowledge how far beyond I am in all of this. I went away from the program and lost more relationships. I no longer talk to my former best friend I considered a brother, I dissolved a romantic relationship for no reason other than I was selfish and scared of my shortcomings, and I don’t even like the man I see in the mirror half of the time but that finally all changes. Every day I’m getting in front of this. I thought January was going to be a new opportunity for that but I only increased my output even more. Every day is a battle thanks to my previous efforts. It is important to acknowledge this.

I tried it on my own. I tried being right more than I am wrong and I lost more. It doesn’t pay to be right and sick but to be healthy and somewhat right. To have compromise but my addict can’t see that. All good. It’s up for me to see it.

From boy to man, cub to lion. Let’s get it over with so we can finally start living.
This is an action journal and a place to come when I am triggered to act out.

1. U-Haul for moving out
2. Powerlifting
3. Cardio(preferably stairmaster because it sucks)
3. Figure out docotor / rehab
4. Cyber security certifications
5. Finish writing programs and concentrate on marketing strategy for online business
6. 2 meetings + sponsor + haircut