Releasing Sexual Shame

The dickpic thing feels kind of wrong, like it’s not natural to send nudes and pictures of your dick. I believe it’s much better to be sexual in real life instead, where it is natural and real. I feel ashamed over doing it because it is so unlike me but I got so carried away by the situation that Icouldn’t think properly. I tvink thats what it is, im disapoiinted in myself for not being able to resist it. I gave in to temptation. I won’t do it again

 

I’m also scared to tell any of my friends about this because I feel like they would definitely not approve of it. They would look at me as some creep, when I’m not. Especially with the dickpic thing, that is just too far.

 

right now we are really far away because im in thailand, but normally its not that far. She lives in denmark and i live in sweden

 

Some girl just said she wanted to meet me to tinder, and I just replied yeah if I have time or something like that. And that’s cool but I have had enough right now. I though I could handle it but I need more time to heal from my previous incident. Dating apps make me feel the dopamine rush flow through me. It makes me feel lack of focus when I’m texting with horny girls lol. I think that’s the case because it’s not natural, it’s much better and healthier to meet girls in real life. For now I’ll take a break from dating sites and rethink if they are worth it

 

I a

I agree with you, we shouldn’t feel guilty about being sexual. And as you say, it is actually a person that you have a relationship with, which is a lot better than porn which is a one sided relationship. I do believe though, that your own health and well being is a lot more important than your urge to sext with someone. Its sad because it doesnt feel like it should be a problem but for me personally, the dopamine rush i experience is just not worth it. I think the best course of action for our situation is to actually meet the person in real life so you can really get to know them. You can never really get to know a person on a deep level through a screen i feel like.

 

- i have never seen or even heard my parents having sex, and maybe that’s why I have also been trying to hide my sexual behavior in the past, because they are the same. I act like my parents.

-my first time having sex. This is not something that I talk about often but I need to say that is was horrible. I just wanted to get it done really. The girl I was with was really ugly and I have been feeling ashamed about telling family and friends who I lost my virginity to. I mean she is really not someone I was attracted to. But it was nice to not feel like a virgin anymore. The sex was also awful, I had a tight foreskin so it was not pleasurable, I mostly felt pain. So I don’t think either of us ejaculated. My penis was only fully inside for a couple seconds or so and afterwards it hurt me. Looking back at it now it’s just a fun story, and I need to start sharing it with the world so my shame disappears.

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I try to practice healthy masterbation, which in my opinion is a great tool for learning how to be sexual with yourself. Because before you can be sexual with Shame with a partner, and experience pleasure with a partner, you must feel comfortable with giving pleasure to yourself. Healthy masterbation as opposed to normal masterbation is that is does not have a goal of ejaculating. The only reason you masterbate is because you want to find out what feels good to you. So you then can translate that same energy into real life relationships.

 

I have done this in the past, infrequently. But now I think that I need to do it at least 3 times a week on a scheduele, because otherwise it’s hard to see the benefits. I am going to do it right now as a matter of fact

 

Okay so recently I have experienced sexual shame. It’s come as I tried hitting on a girl so I grabbed her hand as we were in the water going for a swim. We were pretty drunk at the beach. She wasn’t into it so I let go of her and carried on with my night. Couple days later she had apparently said I grabbed her by the ass which is not true, but my friends don’t believe me. Why would a girl lie? I’m not sure I would believe it either but it feels bad when your friends don’t believe you and think you sexually offended her. I did not grab her by the ass, I only flirted with her. Girls can accuse someone of anything these days and no one will second guess it which is wrong about today’s society.

 

Another night there was this girl that I actually touched her ass. But it was because she had my lighter and I was drunk so I tried taking it from her back pocket. She was kinda into me so I though it was okay. That was wrong. Later on she told that to my friends and that she was not happy about it. Right now i think we are cool though because she seems happy to see me again when we are partying

 

Another thing that happened that upsets me is when me and my friends were in the city at a bar we met some girls that we were talking to at the same table. We were all wasted. Later on I had to go to the toilet or something but when I came back one of the girls pointed at me to the security guard that I was touching her breasts. This is absolutely not true I would never do that that’s just weird. I just felt hopeless at that moment because I couldn’t do anything. All it takes is for a girl to say something like that and then the guy gets thrown out no matter what. And my friends though it was just fun that I was getting kicked out and I get that it is just banter. One of them filmed me and screaming rapist at me. It’s funny but I felt really bad there because no one believed me. I would never touch a girls breast at a bar with others wtf that’s weird. Now they think im a sexual offender because it have been accused 3 times in the last couple of months. But it’s not true im not that. Recently I have been feeling off and I realized it’s because I’m experiencing sexual shame and I have been doubtful when expressing my sexuality with others. I have also been feeling hopeless, frustrated and angry that no on believes me. I don’t like these feelings you have to be able to be positive and fully sexual expressing your sexuality with others. That’s why I’m writing here, so I can release the sexual guilt i have been feeling lately. My plan now is to try and be more sexual ans get rid of my guilt here by writing off.

 

My friends are making fun of me telling me that they are going to report me for sexually assualt and its making me feel uncomfortable and full of sexual shame. I know it’s not true but they think that it is and that bothers me because I can’t make them feel otherwise. It’s especially one guy who says he will testify against me but I know he’s not serious. Maybe I should fight back more but I feel like that’s just making the situation worse, I feel like ignoring is better so we will stop. We will see.

 

Okay so there has been another recent incident I want to share in a safe space, because I feel paranoid, sexual shame and somewhat scared about it.

Warning, triggering content

I have had a friends with benefits situation with a girl for quite some time and the other day she was out at a club. She then texted me wondering where I was and that she wanted to meet me, so I told her to come over to my place instead. In two of the messages there were spelling errors that indicates she has been drinking, but I didn’t think too much about it since that is normal for her when she drinks. Almost every time we have met have been in relation with alcohol. When I met her she felt somewhat drunk but not too much, she walked straight and talked clearly. Although, I think she lost balance or something in my toilet for a brief moment because two of my cans on the floor were knocked down. I asked her if she was good to see that she was not too drunk, and she told me she was. She then started taking off her clothes, and then so did I, and we started making out. After a while we started getting to foreplay and I asked her beforehand to be safe, do you want to have sex? And she said yes. The sex was alright, she felt somewhat stiff but we still changed positions and such so it wasn’t that she was completely still. After the sex she suddenly started sitting on the floor and acting drunk, I asked her if she felt ill and so I went out to get a bucket for her in case she needed to puke. But she didn’t and after a couple of minutes we went to sleep. I had to help her up from the floor, which almost felt like an act because she wasn’t like that before. The day after we had sex again after it was clear she wanted to because we were spooning and she put her ass on my dick, and we started making out. Then, we talked for a while and she tells me that she can’t remember us having sex last night. Now, two days later she has removed me from snapchat, and I’m afraid she will press charges.

Some other things worth mentioning is that she says she remembers everything up until us having sex, so I think it sounds weird that she doesn’t remember. Also, she said that she didn’t drink anything at the club, which is no alcohol for roughly 2-3 hours I believe. Another thing is, the condom we used got stuck in her for a brief moment so I told her the day after that she might want to take a day after pill to not get pregnant. Every time we have had sex before we have been careful to always use condom