As someone who had been into the sissy fetish for a couple of decades I can tell you that it's the most destructive thing I can think of. I know alcoholism or heroin addiction looks like and believe me, while they are damaging and extremely hard to quit, sissy hypnos are just another level. They literally change your desires, your personality, your core self and destroy your self-image, self-appreciation. Of course usually there are already such underlying issues of inadequacy and not enough self-love. In any case, I did go really far. I knew I did not like men, I knew I was addicted but that was what was making it even more perverse and exciting. The embarrassment and humiliation; because I didn't love myself I had to hurt me in order to feel in familiar territory and escape reality. I went really far. Had been in chastity for long, shaving, dressing 24/7, I was feeling and behaving feminine, I would dress up and go out to find sexual partners, in my mind I was destined to be a sissy. For a long time I had no erections. I was only orgasming from anal and nipple play and thought that my penis was useless and I'd never have a manly orgasm again. I had an ex gf who was an alcoholic bring me men to have sex with, met men from classified ads etc. etc. I was considering implants and hormones and the whole sick thing. Even when I would get to my senses I just couldn't let go. I thought that this was the only way for me to be happy and get sexual satisfaction. But then I realised that long term the only thing it was doing to me was making me miserable. The sexual experiences were never close to the fantasy and I was always left feeling empty. Several times even if I was really aroused, the moment the man was trying to enter me I was feeling a huge pain back there. It was my real self telling me "what on earth are you doing?!?!?!"... The thing that protected me from taking hormones and doing other irreparable changes to my body was that I wanted to have children and I know how it feels to love a woman..I'd remember that every time I was close to change my body for good. After each encounter I would wash my mouth and myself obsessively. After orgasming I would cry and tell myself that this is it, it's over...But believe me, it can never be over unless you cure the underlying cause of this self-destructive practice. Until I started telling honestly to myself that I love me, I am amazing and that independently of what others, my parents or ex girlfriends think, I am a wonderful and very good hearted human being who wants to love and be loved, I was never able to stop. The insidious hypnosis of reaching "the point of no return" was what was making it so overwhelmingly exciting...until I read so many stories of people that went back to being themselves from much more advanced transitions.There is no point of no return. There is only being yourself or being a scared, inadequate, not loved creature that is escaping reality. Now for the first time I not only do not feel a part attached to this poison but my whole heart, soul and body have separated from it and see it as a survival strategy that served me in the past but has stopped having any useful function. On the contrary, it is taking away the most beautiful soul mate I could have imagined. My gf left me because of me sharing my fantasies with her. She couldn't handle it because I seemed to not have any desire for her, while the only human being I desire is her If you want to be yourself give up fantasizing, porn, masturbation and edging and start living the real life.