Small Pen*s Club - (males, females and non-binary welcome)

Had a doctor's appointment today. Full body scan. I know that it would have been best to take all my clothes off so the doctor could check my genitals and backside. It made me so uncomfortable just to imagine being naked under the hospital gown and there was a pretty nurse in the room, too . . . so I kept my boxers on. I should have had those parts checked out, but too ashamed of being out of shape and of my little penis (and fear of getting an erection).

 

Had sex with my girlfriend. I am incredibly lucky to have a great relationship and that I don't really have erectile dysfunction.
But having a short penis, it's hard not to think about it. I am limited in positions that we can do and constantly dealing with it slipping out and re-establishing "entry".

I have a lot to be grateful for . . . but it is hard having such a little thing to work with. This is part of the reason why I avoid having sex - it just takes a lot of work, when masturbation is so easy.

 

This is a worthwhile question. A humiliation fetish is creating drama (additional pain) around a real pain. In my case, the penis size has caused some very real pain - with several ex-gf's telling me that I was too small and two who only let me give them oral (without receiving). In my life, I have experienced a lot of rejection and have had had several girlfriends cheat on me and/or leave me for other men. That is very real pain.
Turning to porn, fantasy and masturbation was a VERY unhealthy way to cope with the pain. C*ckold porn became my drug of choice.
Years later, I am better . . . but still working through the very real pain of past betrayals and rejection as well as the wreckage of years of excessive (i.e. daily x 4hr = 1/4 of my waking hours) PMO.

 

I have had girlfriends . . . but not very successful relationships (none making it to 2 years until most recently. And some were borderline abusive.
My history of coming across "shallow" women. Is it bad luck? Or have I been manifesting it. My very first girlfriend was precocious and promiscuous, and quickly dumped me for an older more experienced boy. It's entirely possible that I was subconsciously re-creating that scenario (AKA - I am drawn to inappropriate or unavailable women).
Or . . . maybe it was me. What if I brought out the worst in them? One girl I dated (briefly) told me that my submissiveness will bring out the dominance in women.

 

I had sex with my girlfriend last night.
I am very happy about that. It's important for the relationship that we have regular intimacy and I am hoping that it happens more often. (lately it's been once every month or two, mostly due to me and my issues )
I gave her an orgasm with my hands. And then we had PIV briefly afterwards. I did not have an orgasm.

The challenge with having such a short penis as mine is that penetration is hard to achieve and hard to maintain. It took a lot of effort and only the head of my penis was in a few times. It slips out often and I have to spend most of my time getting it back in rather than simply enjoying the back and forth motion.

I will keep trying, but I imagine its easy to see how I can be incline to avoid sex and masturbate instead.

 

My girlfriend hit my dick this morning. By accident. I had raging morning wood and she rolled over to snuggle and hit my dick pretty hard with her arm, and then hit it several more times as she adjusted her position.

I thought she might notice my erection and grab hold of it after the first time she hit it, but no, she kept hitting it as if it wasn't there.

That is just how it feels sometimes - like it's barely there, easily overlooked, even as I am very aware of it after getting hit in the dick.

 

Ow, my D*ck!
It hurt, her hitting my morning wood, but at least I didn't get it in my b*lls . . .

 

I have been meaning to update here . . .
Obviously, no changes. Small is small and I am still sometimes triggered simply by seeing how small mine is in my hand. Yes, I do use two fingers and my thumb to MO sometimes, but I do have enough to fill my palm and can MO like a normal guy. Short strokes.

The good news: I have been having more sex with my partner and we have been having better sex. Ci*lis has definitely helped. But it's also about better communication and working closely with my AP to dial things in so I am most prepared to have sex on the weekends.

We last had sex on Friday and it was a bit triggering. We were in a position, one that would work fine with an average penis, but that left me with only an inch in and constantly feeling like it was about to slip out. It was very similar to the anxiety that triggers premature ejaculation for me. Fearing that I might cum too soon . . . makes me cum too soon.

In short (pun not intended), I felt so anxious that I might slip out at any second that I lost control and had a very powerful orgasm. My partner definitely noticed. I imagine that she might be inclined to repeat this position even though she's not getting much penetration.

It's very frustrating that I can barely get penetration in this position and feel like it's always about to fall out!

I'll end with more good news, though: It did not fall out! That's something.