Social media + Girlfriend's sister

G

gstarckma

New Fapstronaut
Hello guys!

So I've been a PMO addicted since I was 13 (I'm 28 right now). Since the beginning of this year I could stop watching porn, however I've been replacing this habit with a different one. Instead of porn, I started to masturbate to tiktok and Instagram videos. I tried to uninstall those apps but I end up installing them again. And lately, I've been having my girlfriend's sister at home sometimes because she is having some borderline problems. No matter the occasion, she usually uses really suggestive outfits (using deep necklines and really short dresses) and when we talk about something, she usually talks to her sister and me about her sexual life (like how active and how "naughty " she is). One of these days, due to one of her stories, I went to social media and then saw some of her videos and photos to masturbate. I repeated this two more times. I feel that I don't have urges to porn anymore however this new habit is not healthy too.
What can I do to spot definitely with this? How can I re-educate my brain? I don't know what I did but I could stop with porn, how can I stop with this too?

Thank you guys!
 
desmond3 said:
Hello my friend,

I would strongly suggest treating those suggestive materials as porn as well. You have to know that ultimately you are here to stop all kinds of sexual misconduct, not just looking at porn. If you find something suggestive, or something "innocent" but work in the same way as porn, sexually arousing you, then avoid them as well, just like what you do for porn.

For me, other than porn, I am also sexually aroused by certain fetishes. I would treat those fetishes as porn (and I will reset), if I start searching for them for sexual arousal. I find this way of seeing those seemingly innocent materials very useful. Of course, you have to be honest with yourself here, only you know whether you are intentionally looking for those sexual pleasures or not.

I hope you will find this helpful. Good luck to you!
Click to expand...
So should I treat these as relapses correct?
 
gstarckma said:
Does this mean that I'm actually getting worse and not improving?
Click to expand...

Personally I'd not say that you get worse because you're not supporting an industrie anymore which is often based on exploiting women. So, that's a good thing.
But for your personal journey, you need to ask what your goal is. If you aim for not fapping at all, any kind of "erotic" content is problematic because it increases the chance that you want to fap.
If your aim is only to stay away from "real" exploitative p content (which can also infuse problematic fetishes like degrading someone or worse) but you don't have a problem with the fapping itself as long as it happens by harmless fantasies/images, that you might be fine.
It's a question of your goal in my eyes.
 
she usually uses really suggestive outfits (using deep necklines and really short dresses)
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I really advocate modesty in dress for both sexes but: here the problem is you not her. it's just a woman using some pieces of cloth to her body...not a big deal. if anything, tell your monkey-mind the clothes are silly or clownish or funny. comedy and jokes distract the mind from sexual pressure:rolleyes:
 
Wanking to your girlfriend’s sister is escalating your sex addiction to a more insidious level. How would your GF feel if she knew about this? If the answer is not too good then you know what you need to do.

Try asking her about her sister’s provocative dressing and discussions. The path that you all are on now can only lead to trouble.
 
Try asking her about her sister’s provocative dressing and discussions.
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Shouldnt the tell the sister directly? OP's gf isnt the owner of the sister, it would be weird to use her as a proxy to reprimend a third person IMO
:oops:
 
This is just you escalating down from porn because you want to at absolutely any cost stay away from porn, but are still horny.

DELETE INSTAGRAM NOW.
This thread is your last warning.

I recommend engaging in intimate activities with your girlfriend when you feel that way. Otherwise 20 pushups.
 
loneloan said:
Shouldnt the tell the sister directly? OP's gf isnt the owner of the sister, it would be weird to use her as a proxy to reprimend a third person IMO
:oops:
Click to expand...

She is not the problem, so please don't make it hers. She can wear, say and do whatever she wants. If this makes you horny, it's your problem.
And yes, deleting social media or blocking certain apps/profiles is a good idea. I've from example Cold Turkey installed on my PC to prevent certain sites from access.
 
.here the problem is you not her. it's just a woman using some pieces of cloth to her body...not a big deal. if anything, tell your monkey-mind the clothes are silly or clownish or funny. comedy and jokes distract the mind from sexual pressure
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I agree with you. thats why I Said this before in the thread

She is not the problem, so please don't make it hers. She can wear, say and do whatever she wants. If this makes you horny, it's your problem./QUOTE]
;)
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rkingqueen said:
She is not the problem, so please don't make it hers. She can wear, say and do whatever she wants. If this makes you horny, it's your problem.
And yes, deleting social media or blocking certain apps/profiles is a good idea. I've from example Cold Turkey installed on my PC to prevent certain sites from access.
Click to expand...
since it is his house and she is wearing provocative clothes in his house then he most defintely has the right to tell he he doesn't want her wearing those kind of clothes while shes in his house as its innapropriate according to him.
I mean if we are really going to go down this route society is going where people can wear and do anything then people will start visiting your house completely naked and say you can't tell me what to wear
 
The urges to M are still strong, so what is the trigger for that urge? For me it is always a response to stress. The porn was the outlet for the urge, now it is the insta. Transferred to a different outlet. The root of the problem needs to he understood or you will transfer it from instagram through to something else. After a 30 day reboot you will notice some beviour changes.

Feeling sexual arousal ro your gf sister isn't such a big deal. If she's attractive then it's normal. It's just that your brain is looking for ways to get you to M and feel the release of dopamine.
 
gstarckma said:
Hello guys!

So I've been a PMO addicted since I was 13 (I'm 28 right now). Since the beginning of this year I could stop watching porn, however I've been replacing this habit with a different one. Instead of porn, I started to masturbate to tiktok and Instagram videos. I tried to uninstall those apps but I end up installing them again. And lately, I've been having my girlfriend's sister at home sometimes because she is having some borderline problems. No matter the occasion, she usually uses really suggestive outfits (using deep necklines and really short dresses) and when we talk about something, she usually talks to her sister and me about her sexual life (like how active and how "naughty " she is). One of these days, due to one of her stories, I went to social media and then saw some of her videos and photos to masturbate. I repeated this two more times. I feel that I don't have urges to porn anymore however this new habit is not healthy too.
What can I do to spot definitely with this? How can I re-educate my brain? I don't know what I did but I could stop with porn, how can I stop with this too?

Thank you guys!
Click to expand...

Hello friend,

I'm sorry to hear this story. Let me try to give you some advice, which I got from personal experience.

In my opinion, this is worse than porn. Try using an app blocker called Blocksite. Delete your social media, and, any time you have the desire to redownload it, remind yourself that, if you do, it will, 100% lead you back to a relapse of this addiction. You literally have no legitimate reason to use it whatsoever. Remember, using social media = pain (even if you're not using it sexually). Right now, I only check Instagram for at most 2 minutes a week, and only to check if someone messaged me. I strictly forbid myself from scrolling. When you masturbate, do so only to relieve yourself of your arousal, and do it without technology whatsoever (it's ok to fantasize about anything, though). After a month of only masturbating in this way, you'll eventually be bored of it, and masturbation will stop being as entertaining as it was. Try to exercise most days (yes, even if you're tired, even if you don't feel like it, even if you're sore). I usually thought of exercising when I didn't want to as a way of proving to myself that I had enough willpower to do it. Trust me - nothing felt better than proving myself right every time. Set yourself a specific time (for me it was 7:30 pm) when you go run. Do 5k or 10k a day. Give yourself maybe 2 or 3 rest days a week. Eventually, you'll find that you haven't masturbated for a few days in a row. At this point, try to do the 90 days without PMO challenge (this is the most difficult part). At one point, after looking at an e-girl, I told myself that purposefully looking for hot women on social media would count as a relapse to myself. Since then, I've been avoiding looking at e-girls like the plague. The same should work for your GF's sister. Just tell yourself "If I dare open her profile up one more time (even for a second), that's an automatic relapse, even if I don't masturbate." When she's around you, try looking only at her eyes, and nothing else. Not even a peek at her legs or boobs. If she talks about something that makes you uncomfortable and you overhear it, just move to another room (if it is at all possible).

Try that for a few weeks and let me know how it goes. I wish you all the best.
:)

Good luck,
hhh999
 
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sohardrn said:
This is just you escalating down from porn because you want to at absolutely any cost stay away from porn, but are still horny.

DELETE INSTAGRAM NOW.
This thread is your last warning.

I recommend engaging in intimate activities with your girlfriend when you feel that way. Otherwise 20 pushups.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I found this quite funny with the push ups at the end of your comment.

OP, this is a slippery road you are on. Boundaries should be in place. Where I am from it would not be unusual to tell the sister that she is being inappropriate or sharing too much. As for her dressing, there isn't much you can do about that other than focus on something else. Good luck.
 
The Passenger said:
As for her dressing, there isn't much you can do about that other than focus on something else. Good luck.
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absolutely nothing can be said. shes just doing it to look cute for her and her friends, absolutely nothing is inappropriate now
everything is mens fault, women are only victims
 
I usually get turned off when women dress trashy and talk about their sex lives but thats bc Im older and have a more refined palate, back when I was younger I would have been a bit more of a sucker...

Its normal though man. I want people to avoid pathologizing desire, even taboo desire like wanting GF sister etc (to a point). We're men, we are horny. But yeah, at the end of the day, we are men and we must master ourselves and our sexualities....
 
gstarckma said:
lately, I've been having my girlfriend's sister at home sometimes because she is having some borderline problems.
Click to expand...

Wait, do you mean the issues she is having borders on being problems, or that it's problems related to Borderline Personality Disorder? Just want to make sure if it is the second you understand this is a serious disorder and you can get really messed up, and even if it's just a possibility I gotta post this as a PSA. There's probably nothing I can say to someone if they haven't been through it to help them understand how easily you can get messed up being close to someone like that, even if it's just emotiona involvement but I have to because it's serious. Just imagine this: You get involved, even if it's just emotionally, they flat out say shit that's untrue about you, people you all know believe THEM, perhaps because they're a girl and it's kind of by default. And that's BEFORE it gets bad. (but obviously it's already bad enough) You don't want the people you know in your life to turn into a mob against you and cancel you.
 
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